I keep saying it to myself: I will find a better job. I will find a better job. I WILL find a better job. And soon.

Is the deli really that bad? Well...

No. And Yes.

Yesterday, when a trusted friend asked how the job was going, I answered. "Honestly, The first month was pretty hard because I was new and had to learn everything. The second month, after I had gotten adjusted, it got easier. Now, I mostly just find it profoundly boring. And of course, the pay sucks. But it's still much better than no job at all."

In the long term, deli work is not for me. Sure, I can do it for a while, but I just don't understand people who have worked there 5, 10, 15 years, or even longer. I just can't envision how one could do it for that long without going insane. I'm not just referring to the pay either (which actually gets significantly better after you've put in some time). I mean intellectually. It's numbing. Oh well. To each their own.

I guess in every job previous to this, my mind has been challenged, in one way or another. When I worked at the preschool, figuring out creative and constructive ways to deal with squabbling 4 year olds was always an ongoing challenge. At my dot com job, well, programming is generally interesting in any case. There were definitely some good projects there. Like solving puzzles.

But at the deli... It's pretty much the same thing every day. Helping customers, slicing meat, deboning chickens, cleaning ovens. Help customers, slice meat, debone chickens, clean ovens. Repeat.

And, while I'm in "vent" mode... Customers.... Grrrrrrr...... Now I'll preface by saying that most people are nice, but the 2% that aren't... well, they really suck.

And even the nice ones.... well, ya just get sick of them after a while.

Ok, today was really tiring, and I'm in a lousy mood, and I think it shows. It was way too busy, and they didn't schedule enough people, and when you're working your ass off trying to get everything the person at the front of the line wants, and the two people waiting behind them are giving you frowning dirty looks because they've been waiting forever (as if it's somehow my fault that the last person took their merry time trying to make up their mind what they wanted), and meanwhile, there are cleanup tasks that need to be done that aren't getting done... Eventually, you just want to scream... "To hell with all of you! Go cook your own chickens!"

But of course, that urge is wisely suppressed for the near term. You somehow find the energy to give a semi-plastic smile to yet another nameless face, and utter in a friendly tone: "Can I get anything else for you? Alright, you have a good night."

...

Word is that tomorrow, there will be a job fair at the Pepsi Center. I've decided that, despite my suspicions that it may be fruitless, I'm going to at least show up and see what's there. I'll also be bringing a stack of resumés.

Despite my ranting above, this will not be a "find another job at all costs" mission. I'm merely going to be surveying the territory, and if a golden opportunity presents itself, I will of course do what I can to pursue it. It will be telling to see: (1) How many employers show up that are actually hiring (yes, previous experience has revealed that employers do show up at job fairs without actually intending to hire anyone). (2) How many job-seekers there are. If economic news is to be believed, half the city of Denver might be there looking for work. We'll see.

In any case, I intend to have fun with it, and not get uptight/desperate. Right now, I am fortunate enough to have a job, which prevents the pressure from getting too high. (However, dissatisfaction with certain aspects of the current job does provide sufficient motivation for me to get moving.)

Alright, now time for a little fun. I bought some yummy snack food after my shift, which I think I shall now consume over an episode of B5. Then, sleep. Tomorrow will be an interesting day.