Best birthday present ever:

Waking up in a bed lying next to a devoted, beautiful maiden, who is nurturing of all life, has a sensual touch, a musical spirit, and adventurous for the journey.

The Fine Print: A scorpio with a sting. Though this moment of Heaven may belong to me, She does not, and never will.

The sirens, it would seem, have had the last laugh. Here I am, not dead, but marooned as a Divine Slave in some P*burgh whrHse once again....

lol at the absurdity of this entire theatrical farce we call "life".

Music: Conjure One - Tears From The Moon

At the beginning of this 7-day prayer ritual, which culminates with this evening's full moon (currently overhead), I set out with the following intention:

Spirit Willing -- working in alignment with both Astral and Underworld selves -- for the next 7 days and nights, until the next Full Moon passes, I intend to devote myself to the tribe that has been sharing and sheltering me, praying to Blessed Elua for guidance regarding the next step in my ongoing journey.

If self-assessment is any guide, I would say I have devoted myself to this tribe to the utmost during these past 7 days. I have participated in the tribe's trade, helping bring in a little bit of revenue. I've done what I can to ensure the daily needs of friends present are met, and followed Blessed Elua's precept of love in choosing my actions.

I believe my prayer has been answered. The next step has been revealed. I have been invited to return to the Rainbow Sanctuary for more volunteer work later in the week. My new plan, in accordance with larger journey intention (permaculture, manifesting gardens, natural shelters, etc etc), is to accept this mission and follow through with it.

(There is, however, a 7.7% chance that I might get distracted by sirens offering promises to grant birthday wishes during the coming 3 days, if only I Stay (stagnate) another day... What's a tired traveler to do? Deep down, nothing is certain, all bets are off. The journey retains a degree of fundamental unpredictability. Truly, I wouldn't have it any other way.)

Midnight passes, and as the full moon shines, the last thing I'd ever want to do now is Sleep (track 10)....

Tears From The Moon (track 3)

couldn't Sleep, so I went out walking...

full moon immenant

Last night, as almost full moon approached, I was taken to a Rainbow Sanctuary.

Today, I receive help from Maiden, Mother, Crone, and Brotherly energies all.

Reconnecting with core purpose, tribe.

I have become a volunteer once more.

Went on a hike picking berries. Then got all sweaty digging a garden bed with a pick and shovel. Very grounding. A kind girl (land-lady's daughter) instructed me, helped shovel dirt, sort rocks, share geenhouse permaculture travel visions, gave me water.

So thankful to be in this sanctuary. Also enjoyed recording by Spiral Rhythm the laptop Moya this morning. Now I partake of Rainbow Wireless. Paradise.

Spiral Rhythm

(album: Roll of Thunder. track: 7. begin at 1:23)

I AM FREEDOM

I can no more be bound
  than the hawk in flight
and I am the fires
  that burn in the night
and I am the Shaking
  and the Quaking of the Earth
and I am the waters
  of the world's rebirth

I AM FREEDOM
I AM FREEDOM
I AM FREEDOM
I AM FREEDOM

I am no more contained
  than the waves on the sea
I cannot be chained
  because I Must be free
and I am the fire that
  burns in all things
the Bell that tolls
  with freedom's call

SHAKE when you hear me ring

I AM FREEDOM
I AM FREEDOM
I AM FREEDOM
I AM FREEDOM

Extending deepest thanks to OAO Coven Priestess Estha for answering my 5am phone call and helping me see my path again.

My beloved do you know
how many times I stared at clouds
thinking that I saw you there?

These are feelings that do not pass so easily
I can't forget what we claimed was ours

...
No pain remains no feeling
Eternity awaits
Grant me wings that I might fly
My restless soul is longing

No pain remains, no feeling
Eternity awaits

Big thanks to DJs Raven and Erasteroth for helping me pass this night.

Today, the work of Elua had me offering my skills at childcare.

Then, later, as the sun set, I found myself in a perfect place for a photo by the river, so I used the new camera obtained yesterday (owing the credit card for that too now) to snap the sunset.

[unfortunately, due to the labyrinth of protocol restrictions and redirects required to get around firewall policies and permissions issues at my current hosting provider, I haven't been able to get the pic up in a web-accessible directory on the server tonight. The price was right, but in order to get anything useful done, the technical hoops one must jump through to get anything useful done remotely on this server are many. Oh well. The photo has been uploaded to my facebook page in any event.]

After dark, the manifestation of Elua's blessing became clear to me, and I felt compelled to play a little Conjure One on the laptop, while parked in this dark little corner of the local late night coffee shop.

with only one word
you took the ice out of the air again
and put the heat back in the sun again
with only one word

with only one word
you put the weapons of the world away
it's funny how one single thing you choose to say
will change the world and then it
suddenly means something better

every single thing I see
good or bad you make it mean< or bad you make it mean
something better

every pleasure, every pain
every nightmare that i dream
make it mean something better

every time that i can't make a sound
and I think that I'm starting to drown
even when I try to take you down
every time that I think I'm alone
and I can't find a word of my own
you take me home again
you change the world again

with only one word you took a war out of my history
it's funny how one single thing
you choose to see
could change the world and give mine back to me

so much better
every single thing i see
every single thing i dream
so much better

every pleasure, every pain
every nightmare that i dream
make it mean
something better

On this, the third night of the ritual -- the day I returned abundant with gifts and found the tribe completely empty -- I cry in prayer to Blessed Elua, bestowing these tears upon Earth, who bore his incarnate flesh out of the tears of the Magdaline mingled with the blood of Yeshua bin Yosef, suffering unto death on a Tiberian cross.

Out of desire, I form creative expression, and out of creative expression, yet more desire overflows. How can this continue without reaching the point of bursting?

I am lost now. Fully equipped, yet void. I have no tribe. Nothing to devote when devotion is rejected. No need to care when all that once existed to care for is either dead, going, or gone, within self or otherwise. No manifesting of food for a body that has lost its will to sustain any longer. No shelter without nurturing. Nothing to say, no inspiration to create, when desire's flame has died for lack of fuel. No music when voices are silent. As the Adventure transforms into yet another futile struggle against loneliness... Still, there is, no more.

Battery low. Time to die now. Over and out.

Music: Nightwish - Gethsemane