Here's the shit: Two days ago, I got the idea to write and post... this. Except it wasn't this. Well, it was, but not really. Ok, it was the subject I'm getting ready to not really type about.

Alright. Confusion. This is.

Well, anyway, I wanted to, but I didn't want to do anything rash, especially given that my sleep quota was... not enough. Not to say that I regret the fest, because I don't. What's life without a little fun, even if it is stupid?

Stupid. So I had this stupid idea to type this two days ago, but I decided to force myself to adhere to a 48 hour waiting period before doing so. Well, it hasn't quite been 48 hours yet, but close enough, here it is. Stupidity. Oh well. At least it's premeditated stupidity. Better than spur-of-the-moment stupidity, right?

Ok, enough of this incoherent idiocy. Here's the shit (for real this time): I [gulp] think I'm finding myself attracted to someone. Or I might be. Ah shit, but it's complicated. But what isn't? I shouldn't even be writing this. Bad bad bad.

The thing is, if there's even a slim chance ... Opportunities like this, so rare. At least in my history. So here I sit. Making an idiot of myself on international fibres. It certainly wouldn't be the first time, and probably not the last.

Anyway, if you are this person, happen to be reading this, and feel at all the same way, you know how to reach me. Or if I'm totally, totally, totally off base, it wouldn't hurt me to know that either. Well, maybe it would a little, but that would be good anyway. Or just ignore it, pretend you never read this, and I'll pretend I never wrote it. Remember? No pressure.

Not trying to imply anything , but I just thought I'd finish by quoting this lyric, as it's been going through my head a lot lately. (Ok, the first clause of that last sentence is a boldface lie, but it works as a nice disclaimer to get me off the hook, doesn't it?)

Je ne dors plus
Je te desire
Prends moi
Je suis a toi
Mea culpa

Je veux aller au bout de mes fantasmes
Je sais que c'est interdit Je suis folle
Je m'abandonne
Mea culpa

Je suis la et alleurs
Je n'ai plus rien
Je deviens folle
Je m'abandonne
Mea culpa

Je ne dors plus
Je te desire
Prends moi
Je suis a toi

Je suis la et ailleurs
Je veux tout
Quand tu veux
Comme tu veux
Mea Culpa


--Enigma

An addendum: I won't mention this subject again, here or anywhere, unless and until the party addressed gives me explicit permission to do so.

And, once you hit submit, the words are out there, the damage is done. What's life without risk? Here goes... [Stop and read everything that's about to IPO] I guess that's it. Damn. And, over...

the

cliff.

...

SPLAT