So, what am I doing up at this ridiculous hour? Well, I did go to bed about 4 hours ago, and went straight to sleep. That was good, cause I needed (and still need) it. But a few minutes ago, my brain just decides to spontaniously wake up. This time, I didn't feel like fighting it, so here I am, typing garbage while listening to Alanis Morissette. I'll go back down after a few minutes.

So anyway, it is now officially March 15. Exactly one year ago today, I made what would be the first database-driven Random Rambling. How time passes! Oh, and on another goofy note, it was four years plus three days ago that I published my first monstrosity of a web page. So, it seems, insanity runs in my blood.

One year ago. I was on the verge of a breakdown. Not yet knowing it at the time, I would be about to attend a concert, spur of the moment insanity, at which I would have my epiphany. My dwindling motivation would soon dwindle even more. I would begin to withdraw from friends, withdraw from the world. I would make a life-changing decision, only to falter, stall, and ... dig a deep dark hole, burrow into it, without ever intending to emerege. One year later, I would look back without regret.

Seems strange, doesn't it?

So, what next? Reading the tea leaves. Well, motivation doesn't seem to be a problem these days. Life appears to be heading in a direction I like. Not to say that I don't occassionally have misgivings or doubts. Generally, though, things are looking up. Sometimes, I wish I could accellerate things even more.

"I want this, That. Everything! Right now. No, I can't wait, dammit. House. Car. New PC. Romance. Version 2.0. Now!"

In such impatient times, I find it helps to just lose myself in my work, and when I get home, lose myself for an hour or two in a good tv show, on nights that such things are available. Then, brain permitting, write a thought or two here. And the music... Life would suck without music.

And who would have thought it figures?
and life has a funny way
of sneaking up on you when you thing everything's ok

a traffic jam
when you're already late
a no smoking sign on your cigarette break
it's like ten thousands spoons
when all you need is a knife

it's like rain
on your wedding day
it's a free ride
when you've already paid
it's the good advise that you just didn't take
and who would have thought it figures
and you know life has a funny way
of sneaking up on you
and life has a funny way of helping you out

Back to bed.