Once again, I find that I have driven across town in the middle of the night with the sole motivation of typing a rambling. Inspiration strikes at wierd times. In this case, the word "struggle" might be more appropriate than "inspiration". I am having a minor quandry.

As planned, this morning I went into training for the newspaper subscription sales job. There were two other new hires with me learning the basic essentials of the job. I felt at a slight disadvantage, as I was the only one in the group with absolutely zero experience in sales. But I can be a quick learner, or so I like to think.

We spent some time learning the forms we will be filling out each time someone signs up. Those were a snap. Couldn't get much easier. Name, address, phone, credit card number, and subscription type info. Simple as anything.

Then we were taught how to make our sales pitch, with the aid of a training video. Our trainer frequently paused it to comment and elaborate on specific aspects of the performance. A brief, quick, focused effort to sign somebody up for a super discount rate on a newspaper subscription. It looked easy enough as the trainer demonstrated the pitch. Very similar to what I had seen my dad do a few weeks ago.

Looks can be deceiving.

After we had gone through the instruction, each of us got a chance to try it ourselves, with the trainer playing the role of the customer. Not a single one of us got through it without doing at least one thing that the training had specifically said we should NOT do.

Of course, we each got to try it several times, which gave us a chance to improve a bit. I still didn't feel like I had it down at all by the end. I was also quite nervous, which didn't help matters. But there will still be much time to work on that when I get to tag along to a real store with another sales associate.

But there's more. (The "more" is actually the central point of this rambling.) I'll get back to it in a minute.

After the training, I went on a mission to prep other aspects of my personage for this new endeavor. I got a much-needed haircut (I've been putting that off anyway), a spiffy pair of dressy-but-comfortable shoes, and a new wardrobe. Even if there weren't a dress code (which there is), I want to excel at this, dammit.

When you're selling something, part of people's impression is inevitably going to be affected by how you look. Puke it up or swallow it; that's reality. If I'm going to throw myself into this role, I'm going to go all the way. No jeans and t-shirt on this gig, baby. We're stepping into another plane of unreality.

(Besides, if I am to judge myself, the new clothes do look pretty cool, in a not-so-extravagant, understated way, which is what I'm intending. But what the hell do I really know?)

Midafternoon. Satisfied with my procurements, I grabbed a Q'doba burrito, wandered back to the Laser Fortress, and surfed the web while occassionally chatting with scottgalvin.com on jabber. Then I took a nap.

I bought yummy frozen pizza for supper, which I heated up at mom's place. Played Enter The Matrix for a while, watched some of Matrix Revisited again (wanted to check out how some things had been foreshadowed), and drifted off into a hazy wonderland.

(BTW, for those not blessed with a game console and/or the will/means to spend $50 to see Niobe's supplemental story running parallel to the Reloaded plot. We now know how they wrote around Gloria Foster's death. There is indeed a new actress playing the Oracle. She explains that "while we would all like things to be different", the Merovingian had promised to take away the Oracle's familiar face if she helped Neo. He was a man of his word. So now the Oracle looks different, but she's still really the same being deep down inside. Gloria Foster was far superior in the role of the Oracle, but this new person isn't too bad. And at least they were clever enough to throw in what could be construed as a double reference to the real actress's death, while still keeping the dialog consistent with the story. It's the best that could be hoped for.)

I intended to go to bed early tonight. I will attend my first sales meeting tomorrow morning. But I just couldn't get myself to sleep. Now, here I am typing this.

As I lied in bed, going back over the events of the day, and thinking about my life in general, I came to some realizations. Pondering these things is what compelled me to come back over here so I could record them.

Once again, I believe it is a Very Good Thing that none of my current employers are aware of this page. Past difficulties in that category aside, there's virtually no way I would write the following in a public medium if I thought they'd be reading it. The unfortunate reality we live in is that the overwhelming majority of corporate entities are simply not ready to handle genuine honest reflection, or anything that even resembles self-doubt amongst their members. Anything not adhering to the one-track subject of "what can make us the most money the quickest" is considered irrelevent at best. An idea that could potentially conflict with that imperative is downright dangerous.

But that's enough preaching on obvious points I've made in the past. On with the subject at hand.

Reflecting on my sales training earlier today, I realize that I now understand the true reason I have historically been very averse to sales in general. It hit me right in the face during training, and I didn't even really comprehend it until many hours later. It was the chief reason I did poorly during the roleplay exercises. Only in thinking about how I might do "better" did I pinpoint my problem. In discovering the problem, I also discovered the reason for it. It's more than just nervousness and the fact that I'm a newbie.

During the training, one of the points that was hammered into our mushy little brains was this: At NO time during the presentation do you ask the customer whether they want to buy a newspaper subscription. If they accept a free paper, you ask, "Do you currently get home delivery?"

If the answer is "No", the sales not-a-drone (because we get better pay than drones) assumes that the customer wants to try a subscription, and only needs to be presented with a discounted, no-risk deal to sign up on impulse. This is all fine and good, and I agree that a 90-day full refund guarantee if they don't want it for any reason makes it a much easier sell. All the better for everyone.

It's the high pressure selling that makes me edgy and annoyed, even if this version is quite mild in comparison to certain other sales occupations (*cough*car dealers*cough*). I get annoyed when other people try to sell me things using such tactics. Even if it's a product I LIKE, if somebody is pushy about it, I want nothing more than to get away from them. The idea of becoming that same annoying, in-your-face person is certainly not an aspiration I attain.

So here's how the roleplay went:

Me: "Good morning, would you like a free paper today?"

Fake customer: "Sure." (Takes the paper.)

Me: "Do you currently get home delivery?"

Fake customer: "No."

Me: "Would you be interested in having it brought to your door every day at a discount of 70%?"

Fake customer: "No." (walks away)

BZZZT.

Lesson #3: After you've established the person as a prospect, you do NOT ask any more yes/no questions. This gives them a chance to get away when you might make a sale. Therefore, you go on with the pitch assuming that they want it. After the brief description of the promotional offer and what an awesome deal it is, you go right into to the assumptive close, where you ask what their zip code is, and begin writing their information on the form, without having obtained any explicit word that they actually want any of this.

Given that the people running the operation have been doing this a lot longer than I have, I'm sure this approach brings in more sales. So from the perspective of "I want to make as many commissions as possible", I'm guessing it would be best to grit my teeth, force myself to learn the slightly more pressure-applied method, and do my best at it.

I do so knowing that it will be difficult, not just because I'm a newbie at it, but because I am countering a long-cultivated tendancy within myself which loathes, to an extreme degree, any form of imposition. Even if it's on the opposite side of the city, if I find myself approaching an area that looks like the neighborhood where Coercion lives, my instinct is to bolt. I have never questioned the validity of this programming. It could almost be hardwired into my system as part of the BIOS.

Therefore, the question follows. Do I want to try to reverse it? If so, why? Is it worth it?

A thought occurs that it is well within the realm of possibility for me to disregard certain aspects of the training which contradict my inborn reflexes. Since they're not standing over us with a stick, I could go into the store and do things my way. (The training even mentions that each person has their own unique approach, with variations depending on the person's style.)

"Would you be interested a super-duper low price subscription to the paper?"

"No."

"Ok, have a nice day. Enjoy the free one."

If somebody doesn't want something, I don't want to sell it to them. If that means explicitly asking yes/no questions we shouldn't ask, and allowing some to slip away who otherwise might be goaded into signing up, I can live with that. Especially if it lowers my stress lovel.

OTOH, if making things easier for me causes an overwhelming majority of sales to be lost, would I still be so cavalier about it? (Mmmmm... Cavaliers. Even better with Rangers or Celebrants as support.)

I dunno. I may find more insight when I go along to watch somebody else in action. Then, I'll develop my own approach as I try my hand at it. If I find I suck totally or can't handle it, the world is not lost.

But I really hope I can find a way to make this work for me. I want enough f*&king money so I can afferd getting a place to call my own again, buy a few nicities (I don't think I'm terribly greedy; I just want to live comfortably), a couple beers now and then, and save a little bit in the bank. Is this unreasonable?

As the above sentiment pervades my consciousness, I can't help but wonder what lengths this seemingly-innocuous desire for financial independece could potentially drive me to. Talking purely theory now, we could go well beyond the question of annoying pressure sales. Boiled down to it's purest form, it's the age-old question. Would you sell your soul to the devil for a million billion dollars and a life of splendor?

Bah. That's a road I don't feel like traveling down tonight. Random switch to another sub-topic.

What happened to the days when we could all just write software and make a good living at it? It wasn't that long ago, was it? Looking back now, it seems a wierd stroke of luck that for over 2 years running, somebody was willing to pay me to hang around and mostly do stuff that came naturally anyway.

So prostitutes have it easy, do they?

Lest I fall into the lusciously self-deceitful trap of looking at the past through rose-colored glasses, there is a plentiful supply of evidence that even in those days, things were not the paradise it might now be tempting to selectively remember.

So I forge onward, into another zone of insanity.

Eeek. It's after 4am. I have to be on my way to the meeting in 5 hours. Goodnight. I've said my say. Now I need sleep before taking another big step.

To end on a positive note, I'll conclude with this: I'd rather be moving in a new direction -- any direction -- than spending my whole life in the same place, seeing the same thing over and over again every day. In that regard, perhaps my wishes are being granted. We live in interesting times.