Well this is annoying. I try to tune in and watch the new Buffy, and UPN is broadcasting nothing but dead air. So after a few minutes of staring blankly and wondering what could possibly be going on, I wander back over to my PC to read random websites, and maybe write a little rant on my website about this oddness. Well, at least I'm not crazy.

Today, I did something slightly out of the ordinary, and went on a hike with $mentor[0]. I decided that after last night's rambling, it was officially time for a good dose of positive sanity. Even if I'm not actually contemplating it, when I make reference to suicide in my online content, I consider it a red flag that should probably not be ignored. $mentor[0] is generally most helpful in this regard, as was the case today.

Mentally, I now consider myself "okay", at least internally. With regard to my life though.... Hell. It's the same story. I don't know where I'm going to live in a month. Where will I find a job? What will I do if there are no jobs? To make an understatement, it is a source of great concern.

At this point, because I have not heard otherwise, I have to assume that San Antonio is dead. Maybe it isn't, and maybe they're just taking a while to get back to me, but I can't just wait and hope.

I've agreed that tomorrow, I'm going to work with Jaeger on getting my buildmeasite code working with his buildmeasite code, and hopefully the result will be something release-worthy.

Therefore, I'm going to officially schedule Thursday as job hunting day. Taco Bell... McDonalds... janitorial work. All are open candidates for consideration. There is no point to which I shall not stoop! I shall piss in their jars, and let them run my DNA through their genetic scanners. I'll do blowjobs for money, if that's what it comes to. I am nothing but a dead piece of flesh to be chewed up, spit out, and again devoured by the system, but at least I'm alive. There is no low that's too low for me. :)

As for housing.... Well, I may investigate cohabitation options locally. My parents have offered to let me crash on either of their living room floors, although I really hope it doesn't come to that. Humiliation at its upmost. (Not to mention the cost to my sanity.)

A roommate, maybe. There is word that scottgalvin.com's brother might have a room for rent. (Shall we call him petergalvin.com? Nah. That domain doesn't have a web site.) That would be worth investigating.

I'm theorizing that if I'm going to be doing minimum wage work and/or getting a roommate, it would probably make more sense to do so locally, since it would be a slightly less insanely abrupt transition than moving halfway across the country to work at another Taco Bell. (Unless, of course, I find that absolutely nobody here is hiring whatsoever, in which case I might have to consider it.) I know more people in this area than I do in any other single city in the country, and I know the territory. So remaining near Denver would still be best, if at all possible.

What a crazy life. It has been suggested to me by more than one friend that if I can think of this entire ordeal as an adventure, I might get more enjoyment out of it. Adventures are often rough and frought with tragedy and pain. Bilbo, Frodo, et all, know this.

Keep my spirits up. Keep my sanity. Keep my love, and give of the same.

Shoutouts go to all those people who keep this city running. Peace. Let's party.