This afternoon, I decided it was time to get back in touch with the world, and get out of this apartment for a few hours. (It's amazing how quickly one starts to feel "out of touch" by merely spending the majority of the time alone at home for a span of several days or weeks.)

I decided to go to one of my old haunts: Pearl Street. But just for the sake of being "adventurous", I thought I'd try getting there differently. So I went out on foot, found a bus stop out on Wadsworth, and waited for RTD to show up. I didn't check the schedules, plan a route, or anything in advance. I intentionally just wandered out there to see how hard it would be to get to Boulder, so that if I ever happen to find myself randomly out on Wadsworth with a few dollars in quarters, I'll have an idea what to expect.

Well, getting to Boulder proving to be easy enough. I took the 76, transferred to the B from Denver, and found myself at good old Walnut station within an hour and a half of leaving the lair. It was certainly not the most cost-effective approach in my case. Driving (assuming one already has a car) would be much cheaper. The bus rates have gone up significantly since I last rode. Would you believe that just riding a local bus now costs $1.10 in Boulder! Crazy.

Well, once I got to Pearl Street, what was I going to do there? Contemplate life? Stare at the sky? On some days (like on a Saturday, after you've worked all week), doing that sort of thing is nice. Today, I just sort of sat there, feeling edgy, bored, and out of place. What an ill-conceived adventure.

Fortunately, I had brought along reading material, and a little bit of food. I read the first chapter of David Brin's Glory Season, and nibbled on apples and popcorn for about an hour.

Then, I was feeling cold. The day was overcast. The bench was uncomfortable. This was stupid.

I hopped the next bus back home.

At the transfer point, both on my way out an in, I had picked up some job classifieds and apartment rental brochures, which I also read on the bus. As far as jobs go, there may be some more possibilities there. Nobody around here seems to want to hire programmers right now, but if these papers are to be believed, there is some work out there. It's just a matter of convincing them I'm a worthy employee. How hard can that be?

As far as residence goes... Well, I'm having second thoughts about moving this winter. Looking at the ads, there's doesn't appear to be much of anything that's significantly cheaper than the place I've got, unless I really want to move a long ways. Or maybe I'm looking in the wrong magazines. Honestly though, taking the time and expense to move across town, where the difference in rent might be $50 or even $100, really seems kind of silly when you factor in moving expensese. Plus the fact that I actually really like this place.

OTOH, if I don't find a job within the next two weeks, I can't go in and sign a lease renewal when I have no source of income to pay it. But the same would apply for anywhere else I move. Unless I just go and live in Tobias for a while. (In which case, the question comes, where do I put all my stuff? Maybe I should research the cost of just renting a storage garage for a while. Until what?) Shit.

What it really comes down to is that I just need to find a job. Two more bills came in today. Paying those is going to deplete the checking account into the ground. There's the buildmeasite work, which is something (next month's rent), and then where? If I'm going to move out, I need to give 30 days notice. If not, I need to put together some way to pay the rent.

It's now that I realize what a fool I've been for the past 2 1/2 years. Had I been smart, I would have saved a LOT more money instead of buying so many goddamn dvds. Or at least had my car debt paid off sooner. Or not spent so much on a new car. But what do they say about hindsight.

I have admit that as much as I try not to be, I'm still bitter at my former employer. They dumped me so quickly, without any advance warning or severence pay at all. At least when I decided that I wanted to move on, I was upfront about it and told them I intended to leave a few months ahead of time. I guess they decided they would show me. "Anti-Violence" policy, my ass. I have never, ever in my life been a violent person ('cept with my brother, when we were wee tots), nor did I threaten anybody. What a bunch of [bleep].

Best to focus on more positive things, I guess. Crying over spilled milk all day ain't gonna solve anything.

Bottom line: I need to get a job. Historically, I suck horribly at finding jobs, but I'm good at doing them once I have one. I think this difficulty has something to do with the fact that I hate going up to random strangers and asking them for things. It's just not in my nature. This nature can be overridden, but it does require effort.

Anyway....

Speaking of positive, I got a package in the mail. This would be the second occurance during the past month that an old friend has sent me something via postal mail. (The first was Nemo, who sent me three books about his religion after I questioned him about it during the post-wedding discussion, which will be covered many chapters in the future. One of them even had my name engraved on it.)

What I got tonight is a custom burned cd featuring a variety of tunes from choice bands, from someone who lives in Tennessee. Lush... Spiritualized... Perfume Tree... Chemical Brothers... The Jesus and Mary Chain. My musical horizons can expand some more.

Sweet. Drizzt rules.

Now I think I'll zone a bit, maybe watch a little of Enterprise. Or the netflix disc which also arrived today. Choices, choices...

Maybe if I feel energetic, some buildmeasite coding, which I probably should have done earlier in the day. But there's no time like the present.

Here's to it.