Note: This is a actually just a review of a Xena episode, not a real rambling.

And now, as this great mythology which has entertained us for nearly six years launches into its final stretch before disappearing forever, what better way to wave goodbye at those dear viewers than to again engage in that old pastime of poking fun at its most obsessive fans one last time?

(Read that sentence again to verify parsing accuracy.)

What indeed? The true irony of this episode -- this can also be said of many modern forms of comedy -- is that the only people people who will really get most of the jokes are those who are the butt of them. The obsessed hardcore nutballs who devode excessive quantities of time and energy into dissecting each and every episode, every season, every character, every nuance, and, of course, every subtext. [Pwahahahah.]

There is also some twisted perverse bizarre amusement to be derived from the idea of the real Xena and Gabrielle sitting in front of a television amongst a group of crazed fans, and watching episodes of... [drumroll...] themselves, and critiquing the portrayals of the characters, events, and bemoaning the accuracy of the depictions.

Gabrielle: "What kind of a relationship to they think we have, anyway?"

[Xena shakes head in disgust.]

End of conversation.

Of course, the hilarity of such dialog is that it leaves the rest of us just as in the dark about the matter as the season [1-5] episodes that they are watching.

<minor tangent>
Holy freak! I was just browsing the whoosh.org airdate schedule. In a few weeks, there are going to be two more reruns before the final, final batch of episodes airs. But look at the TITLES: Sins of the Past(?!?!?) Callisto!?! This certainly breaks the standard protocol of airing reruns only from current season's episodes. That's gonna be one major nostalgia trip.
</minor tangent>

Alright, I suppose to do a decent episode review, I should at least briefly summarize the plot premise, silly as it is. How's this:

Setting: Modern day.

Story: A bunch of crazed Xena fans manage to get their hands on genuine 2000-year-old hair samples from Xena and Gabrielle. (Through means not entirely upstanding on the part of one of them, but that's neither here nor there.) Through the use of modern scientific facilities, they create complete clones of the ancient heros. In order to help Xena and Gabrielle "remember" who they really are, the fans feed them images from the tv show through direct neural stimulation, until the brains manage to wake up. Then, viola! Xena and Gabrielle are up and about, complete with their traditional weapons and armor (supplied by their loyal fans of course), in the middle of [insert favorite metropolitan city].

Obviously, this amounts to an act utter indulgence / pandering on the part of the show's creators toward those certain people (they know who they are (lesson: third person language can occassionally be used as an effective way to distance oneself from what one is describing (nested parentheses are sometimes confusing))) who secretly wish that Xena and Gabrielle really did exist in real life. But can you blame them? The show's almost over. Why not indulge a bit? Also, like I said at the beginning, there's plenty of mockery thrown in for good fun, but the only ones who will really understand the mockery are those being mocked. This begs the question: Then is it really even mockery anymore?

Well, there was one moment, which was perhaps genuinely touching. Maybe even a bit unnerving, in an odd sort of way. Although it's so closely packed between the funny, goofy stuff, it almost might not register for some, or just blend in with the cheese (either that, or be interpreted as another bit of over-the-top sap, hence triggering laughter), but it did strike a nerve with me, so I'll expound.

At one point, after the ancient heroines had learned of how they had arrived, Xena (or was it Gabrielle?) asked this group of oddballs a very good question: "But why did you bring us here?"

One of the fans then went into a monologue about the atrocities, evil, and violence in the world. Set to some actual news footage of car bombings, police beatings, riots, and explosions, the fans explain how the world has so many problems, and needs a hero. So they brought in Xena.

Now, on the face of it, this is so naively, blatently idiotic that it almost does trigger laughter. What could one chakram-throwing, sword-wielding, ass-kicking bitch with a blond bard at her side possibly do to solve all these modern day problems? If you even start to try thinking seriously about it... The word "ludricous" doesn't even begin. It's a good joke.

OTOH, I think the reasoning is right on target with regard to why some people become so psychologically involved with the show. If the world is seen as a place where everything is corrupt, the evil have control of all the powerful institutions, and the good are squashed or ignored, there are no heroes. People need heroes. The nightly news is just too depressing. (Unless, of course, one's own relatives happen to be featured on it. ;)

... So, where was I before I launched into that almost whoosh-esque commentary? Oh yes. Alti. Evil, evil Alti.

Well, yes, that was a greatly funny episode. Nothing quite like seeing Xena duel with a charging Camero. Many funny lines. More than I can recount. Many clips from past episodes. A strangely silly ending. Anyway, goodnight.