My brain and body are sleepy, but my mind is still uneasy, and so it is that I get out of bed to type this rambling, the pill having completely dissolved in my mouth moments ago.

I was trying to figure out why I didn't want to go to sleep. (Well, first I had to come to the conclusion that I didn't want to go to sleep. When you're laying in bed, eyes heavy, body ready for rest, but the thoughts trickling through won't allow it, that's a pretty good indicator.) I decided that it's because my threshold of incomplete loose ends in my life has now been reached. It's all these things that I believe like need to be fixed, but in one way or another, I feel helpless to address each one.

My PC parts still haven't arrived. Since it really hasn't been that long quite yet, I don't think it's time to be going and asking about it just yet. If it ain't here by this weekend though, people are gonna be hearing from me. Damn postal service. Bitscape's worst nightmare: My stuff being routed through god-knows-where and ending up in some deserted corner at the edge of Timbaktoo. Hopefully, tomorrow, or barring that, Friday, all such fears will be put to rest.

The other thing that's been itching to an increasingly nasty degree is the fact that it's been so long since I've made any code improvements to my page. I don't know where the hell all my motivation and inspiration in that area have gone lately. Earlier, I was discussing this topic with another web content author I know whose web publishing efforts have also sort of fizzled. I believe this individual used the words "apathetic and exhausted" to describe the state of affairs regarding such matters.

Hearing those words somehow just really got me thinking. Sad. It wasn't only because I used to enjoy reading the stuff. It was sad because I look and see myself being pulled in the same direction. Apathetic and exhausted. Does it really need to be so? I hope not. If that's the direction we're all going -- inching our way to a death at old age in which all the energy is completely drained and we just don't care anymore -- then life is just one long, slow road to hell. I'd like to think something better can be chosen. I could always be wrong.

Whew, didn't mean to get totally melodramatic there. But then, a little misdirection never hurt anyone.

Oh, you know what else? I checked some more about that class I was thinking about. Turns out I actually, can't sign up until August. That's when registration begins. So it'll have to wait a couple weeks. Not my fault. But I might also be looking into some other things to get involved in in the mean time.

[Yawn]

Maybe I'll try sleep again. See what happens this time. Peace and long life.