Wow, that brightened my mood significantly again. Upon arriving home from work, I found an email from Jaeger waiting. Photos from Starfest are posted. :)

Almost makes me want to just forget about writing on the topic I'm about to do. But, since we're about documenting life here, I figure I better document, even if it does bring my mind back down into the ugliness for a short while.

But before I go on, I'd like to publicly apologize (well, as public as the offense was, anyway) for dissing a member of The Contingent (as I have come to call it) on this page last night. I bitched about things that are frankly none of my business, and I didn't (nor do I now) know all the facts. I think it quite unlikely that this person would be reading my webpage anyway, but other people who know him might be. So, I'm sorry. Foot in mouth disease strikes again.

Now, on to today's material. (Ok, that's sad. Just SAD. Who the hell outside the sleazy world of journalism, or the skankier side of Hollywood, refers to their life as "material"? Just SAD.)

(So, you ask: Why don't I just go back and delete it right now? Cause that wouldn't be as much FUN, would it? :) )

Ok, I'm going to try and get through this quickly (where have we heard that before?), cause I hate dwelling on the negative for too long. Here it is, my mostly suck ass day:

It actually gets depressing before I even get to work, but I'm not even sure I want to cover that part. Maybe a sentence or two. Well, my dad's going to be gone on a trip for a couple days, which means he won't be able to shuttle me into work, and it's unlikely that bouncing's schedule would accomodate him driving me, so I'm most likely going to have to contend with the less than reliable RTD (less than reliable on routes between Louisville and Broomfield anyway) for the next two days. In the morning. The early morning.

Then he starts questioning me about getting my own car. As IF I haven't been TRYING. I know he means well, and he wants to help. And he might also be getting sick of the daily drive. I don't blame him. It's just... when he starts in on these lines of questioning... then commenting. Subtle attempts to lead me in certain directions, without admitting doing so, even when it's obvious from the beginning where it's going. It used to be the same thing when he was trying to get me to find a job. Uggh.

Well, that was more than a sentence or two. And I wasn't even planning to include that part. This doesn't fair well for the potential length. At least I have Ally McBeal as a limiting factor. I have to get done before that, cause tonight's a new episode. An important one. Gotta watch. Will finish this first.

Alright, everybody remembers a rambling I made two weeks ago. With several follow-ups. Yes? Good. Well, after that thing, I considered the battle as lost, at least for the short term. But the... ahem.. issue itself... has sort of continued to simmer, largely without me taking any part. But, various other sources had kept it alive, even though I had basicly given up after realizing I was outclassed. Not that I was against that. I figure maybe in the long term future, things might change for the better because of it.

Well, this morning, the first email waiting in my box. A pronouncement to everyone, from a source with quite a bit more sway than any that had come before.

WE ARE MICROSOFT
Resistance is Futile
You Will Be Assimilated

No, no, no! That wasn't the email. Not even close! No, nothing at all to do with that. What I just quoted were words printed on the shirt I wore today, which I happily purchased yesterday at Starfest. Nothing to do with anything else. Never. ;)

lol. It's actually funny, now that I can sit back and think about it from the comfort of my cozy little room. What a bizarre twist of serendipity that I bought that shirt, and then wore it today. I probably wouldn't have even seen it if Jaeger hadn't pointed it out to me yesterday. Life's a riot. :)

So anyway, I was feeling pretty shitty this morning, totally grasping the strange irony of the whole thing, and hating every bit of it.

I finally requested with some hesitation, via electronic channels, a burst of virtual energy from a trusted source; a source whose powers are often greater than my own. I was granted this, and without reserve, despite my own reticence. For that I was grateful.

So things started looking better. I thought (and was reminded) of all the fun I had at Starfest, and my mood improved significantly as a result. I was back up on my metaphorical feet again, productive (well, relatively so) and happy (again, relative to the previous state).

So after lunch, when things were seemingly back in the groove, the most unexpected hit came. A coworker dropped by my cube to personally inform me of some news.

He quit. Notice had just been given to management. In two weeks, he would no longer be with the company. I was shocked. I told him it's been a pleasure to work with him (and I really meant it), that I was sad to see him go, and returned a couple of items I had borrowed.

I asked where he would work next. He said he didn't have anything lined up. He just didn't feel like he fit in with the company anymore, and needed to take some time off. I said, "Good Luck" (again, really meaning it). He said he'd keep in touch, and will remain in the area, cause he likes it around here.

Ok, the full impact didn't hit my brain until after he had walked away. Shit, I know we're supposed to have professional detachment, and all that. It's a job, not a social convention. But I just felt like crying in my cube.

Silly, really. I mean, I don't even really know him that well. Just a couple months. Not like this is a lifelong friend or anything. Still... aside from one other person, this was who I believed I could most identify with around there. Relate to. A sort of geeky kinship, or something. Largely intuitive. I just didn't consciously acknowledge how much. Not fully, anyway. In previous ramblings, I have occassionally referred to this person as "C".

Besides that, this had been the person who had showed the most support, and stuck his neck out publicly, listened to what I said, and given me new information, when the issue had arisen. I dared not ask if his leaving had anything to do with that. It probably didn't, but I still wondered. Asking that kind of a question would have been out of place, at best. Besides, I still had the recent advise of my mentor still fresh in my memory: Sometimes, shyness can be a virtue. It keeps you out of trouble. Wise words.

So anyway, my productivity was essentially shot for the remainder of the afternoon. I tried to wrap my mind around what it was supposed to be doing, and got a little bit of some sorry excuse for work done, but my mind was really not going to cooperate this time. It may have also had something to do with how late I stayed up last night.

Anyway, that sucked, but it's not the end of the world. I realized that this could have been something like how my ucollege.edu friends felt upon my departure last year. You give, you take.

My swap is full, and it's time for Ally. Maybe I can laugh tonight.