I was planning to begin this after the cool tv shows. But, since channel 2 has again succeeded in their ever-continuing quest to alienate viewers, the report begins NOW. :)

(Under normal circumstances, I would be irate. But given today, I don't think I am currently capable of entering such a state of mind. :) )

I can't drive fifty-five
--Sammy Hagar

lol. Ok, maybe not the best quote to begin this with. But it's what popped into my mind. Really, I am a very law abiding driver. At least when there are cops around. ;)

How did we get on THAT tangent? This is SUPPOSED to be about the events of the day, not my competence in following the law while behind the wheel. I can tell this is going to be a long one. I guess I could surprise everyone and make it really brief, concise, and totally void of detail. But what fun would that be? :)

Of course, now I'm kind of at a loss on where exactly to begin. I guess this morning, right after the rambling I made at the beginning of the day, would be a good place.

But first, a little background. Yesterday, my mentor pointed me to a sale that was going on this weekend at a dealership in south Denver, and said (not in so many words, but ya know...) "Get your ass down there." lol. Did I misrepresent that? If I did, I would like to apologize in advance to my mentor. Well, whatever it was, it was a good thing. :)

It turned out my dad needed to be in the same area anyway, so that worked out nicely. We drove down, and on the way, he gave me lots of tips on car dealers, financing, how to deal with them, etc. Since he has spent some time in that biz himself, he knows a hell of a lot more about it than the average Joe. He himself was a dealer, so he knows all the different ways the dealers will try to screw you over. (And believe me, they are many, and most people would never even realize it. Ignorance is bliss, right?)

And now, I'm kind of like, "Duh!" Why didn't I go ask him earlier? Of course, the answer: My totally stubborn need to feel like I'm independent, even if getting some help would make all the sense in the world. The worry that if I seek his council, it wouldn't really be my deal. Ya know, the usual parent issues. Psychologists love that shit.

At this point, I would also add that perhaps a big portion of my car dealer-phobia did come from some of the stories he told about what went on on the inside when he was working in that business. Not exactly the most inspiring or confidence-building stuff. But then, I suppose most people, no matter what their profession(s), have probably seen some sort of similarly unflattering info about whatever industry they happen to be in. Things they sure as hell wouldn't want their customers to know about. Such is the way of things.

So anyway, after listening to my dad's points, I dropped him off at his destination, and proceeded to the specified dealer solo. Or what I thought was the specified dealer. There's a whole bunch of them globbed together on the same block, and at times, it isn't even clear when looking from the street where one dealership's lot ends and another begins. After circling the block several times, I felt a knawing pit of nervousness growing in my stomach. Let's face it: I didn't know what the hell I was doing. And I knew that I didn't know what the hell I was doing, which made it even worse.

I finally bit the bullet, and pulled in, like I said, to what I thought was the one my mentor had suggested. Immediately upon stepping out of my dad's car, and I mean IMMEDIATELY, I was greeted by a salesman. No walking inside to look for somebody. No time to collect my thoughts, browse around the lot, and just casually observe what was there. No, even before I had finished parking, the gentleman (I use use that term loosely) I would deal with was selected by the fact that he chose to come and stand right next to the space where I had parked.

(Car Dealers Tips 101, courtesy of my father: This also happens to be the reason he got out of the business. The kind of obnoxious behavior described here is actually caused by the way higher-ups in the dealership try to screw their employees, i.e. the ones we customers have to face. They offer a huge bonus to anyone who sells over X number of cars in one month. When an appreciable number of employees start to actually sell X number of cars in one month, they hire more help, even if it's not really needed. Of course, this decreases the number of cars each dealer sells, but generally increases the business of dealership makes as a whole. They actually end up paying out less total wages (because far less bonuses have to be paid), while having more people working on the lot. Vulture-like patterns result.)

Good God! That swap filled up fast. Part 2 is on the way...