Well, I just got done reading somebody else's nice little webpage updates, which happened to devote a nice big full paragraph to something, or some things, I wrote here yesterday. And I'm getting the sneaking suspicion that an email from... ahem... someone else... ahem... isn't too far off. (The "w" command can show you some amazing facts sometimes. lol.) I shall refrain from further comment at this time.

So, I got home from work today, and immediately encountered bouncing, who promptly announced that he is switching employers. He's found another place that's offering him more of the yummy green stuff. And the new company he's switching to only has 9(!) employees. Cool for him! (At least in my limited experience, in general, the smaller the company, the better the work experience.)

Shortly after, I proceeded to my room to type ramblings. Typed for about a half hour, got just over a half dozen paragraphs, and decided I had gone on long enough without actually saying anything of substance. I reread what I what I had written, shook my head, appalled at both the confusing grammar and the so-far lack of worthwhile content, closed the browser, and went to Burger King to grab some supper.

Returned from the drivethrough with food in hand, and began to eat while surfing. Slashdot seemed to be down, so I wandered over to Salon and read a couple of mildly interesting articles about the Columbine sherrifs hawking videos of the mayhem, some video game which simulates girls who try to "win" against each other on a school playground, and a report about some debate on net porn between some rabbi dude, Roseanne, and Larry Flynt. All stuff I'll probably have forgotten by tomorrow. Makes me wonder if this so-called high-minded net surfing is really any better than watching the garbage on fox.

I didn't finish my chicken tenders (which are still sitting on the shelf next to me (bleah!)), and decided I was fscking tired, and went to bed. Before 1930.

Naturally, when one goes to bed so early, and that one is me, one tends to wake up at all odd hours of the night. So I got up, logged into Rage, wandered around to.. ahem... certain cross-referencing web pages, and decided I would attempt a rambling.

Yeah, this one probably isn't much better in the way of content than what I was writing earlier. I'm sure the grammar is still next to pitiful...

[Bitscape stops to check email.]

Ok, maybe now I'll attempt something vaguely resembling a comment. Or rather, a follow-up to what I said yesterday. Hmmmm... I suppose this is also, in part, a response to something I read on a certain other web page which I often reference here. I was sort of planning on making a followup statement on this topic anyway, but what I read will also affect the direction I go with this.

First, what I was going to say anyway: (For those who are understandably lost, the current topic deals with the religous background of members of the opposite gender, and corresponding appeal thereof. Or something like that.)

I seriously believe that what I wrote yesterday contained a large degree of truth. I do not regret what I said.

However, upon reflection, I do believe that how I went about exploring the topic was on the tacky side. Maybe I could have done a better job of expressing it if a little more thought had gone into the presentation beforehand. But I didn't. I just spewed things out as they came. Tough beans.

Ok, that covers the part I was planning on saying anyway. Now, for something resembling a response to this... ahem... certain web page.

Hmmm, maybe I better go read it again if I'm going to advertise this as a response

Ok. Well, this also might go off on a tangent which is only vaguely related. We'll see. I'd also like to NOT turn this into yet another Roblimo followup. (yeah right)

I guess the most obvious starting point would be to reiterate something I have stated here before on more than one occassion. In the two years I went to a certain college in the state of Nebraska, I found not a single person who appealed to me in that way. I suppose now would be the time to speculate as to possible reasons about why that was the case.

It may also be helpful to define what I mean when I say "appeal". If looks were all that mattered, I would say that my former school was not lacking. Many head-turners in the crowd. For me, it's gotta go beyond that though. To something that's harder to quantify. Personality? That's part of it, but there's more. Some undefinable essence that can only be known through intuition. I dunno. It's late at night, and I'm babbling.

I need to get back to bed before too long, so I'll try to get straight to the main point without going off on too many more tangents. A statement: I think, in general, I prefer rebellious spirits. Each of the celebrities listed in yesterday's little spiel have exhibited traits indicitave of such a state.

I believe the reason the specific religion I named yesterday (technically, now two days ago) tends to produce so many... desirable candidates, is because it is so oppressive that it drives many people into such a state of extreme rebellion that many spend a good portion of their adult lives working through all the shit that's been shoved up their ass and into every other bodily orifice.

I have a tale to tell
Sometimes it gets so hard to hide it well
I was not ready for the fall
Too blind to see the writing on the wall

A man can tell a thousand lies
I've learned my lesson well
Hope I live to tell the secret I have learned
Till then, it will burn inside of me

I know where beauty lives
I've seen it once
I know the warm she gives
The light that you could never see
It shines inside
You can't take that from me

A man can tell a thousand lies
I've learned my lesson well
Hope I live to tell the secret I have learned
Till then, it will burn inside of me

The truth is never far behind
You kept it hidden well
If I live to tell the secret
Will I ever have the chance again?


If I ran away
I'd never have the strength to go very far
How would they hear the beating of my heart
Will it grow cold?
The secret that I hide
Will I grow old?
How will they hear?
When will they learn?
How will they know?

A man can tell a thousand lies
I've learned my lesson well
Hope I live to tell the secret I have learned
Till then, it will burn inside of me
The truth is never far behind
You've kept it hidden well
If I live to tell the secret I knew then
Will I ever have the chance again?

Yes, and produce some damn good content in the process. :)

Shit, my swap is getting full, and there's a couple more things I want to convey. That's what I get for not resisting the urge to quote lyrics.

Here's the scoup: Given that I prefer rebellious spirits, and found them scarce at my former school. Here's why I think I found them scarce: It ain't that the Adventist church doesn't also produce its share of such individuals. I think it probably does. It's just that most of them -- if they are truly rebellious -- have been smart enough to get out of the damn system before it comes time for college. What you have left when you get to that age level -- with a few notable exceptions, of course -- are the docile ones. Or those who are truly into the religous nut thing.

Then there's the stupids who hate the religion, but for whatever reason, go to college there anyway. That was me. I was an alien.

Swap full. Need sleep. Bye.

P.S. I'm returning to amend this after having one hell of a time with this pig of a browser. I typed a little longer than I should have, and it caused things to go a little haywire. A lot haywire, actually. But it seems like there's more to be said. I'll caffeinate tomorrow, and catch up on sleep this weekend. :)

Yes, to reiterate, I did not find what I was looking for at that particular place. Maybe a school without such a heavy emphasis on dogma would have been better. But the past is the past, and I can't change it. If others there are have better luck and are happy with things, then that's great for them. It wasn't working for me.

Hmmmm... To go off on another tangent, or not to? I think I shall. :)

If I had been a member of the opposite gender, and attended college where I did, I don't think I would have lasted half as long as I did. It was/is no secret whatsoever that the rules on curfew are far from being enforced on an equitable basis. I mean, the difference in the way guys were treated when they showed up late ("No biggie if you don't come back until 2 or 3am. Just sign in, and you're fine") versus the less fortunate females (15 minutes past 11? Probably a stern scolding, and maybe punative measures, based on what I heard.)

It was so ridiculous that it became a running joke among students. When editorials in the school paper mentioned this idiocy, it was more as if to state the obvious than make scandelous revelations about a newly-discovered injustice. But did the administration take heed? Hah! Yeah, it's all part of that Christ-like love. Just like the tyrades against homosexuality by officially endorsed speakers. lol.

But anyway, my point here is not to dig up all the nasty stuff about my former school. It's just... I don't believe many adult females of the type I would want to become close to would put up with all that for an extended period of time. I don't mean that as a slam against anyone there, and I really hope it doesn't get interpreted in that way. I knew a lot of great people while I was there, including some with double X chomosomes. Just nobody I would want to get that close to in that way. For others, this may be different, and that is fine for them.

Well, this has gone on for more than long enough. I need rest. I may elaborate further on future occassions, or I may not.