2/16/96
The first thing that has to happen in order for this top secret plan to work is the generation of massive amounts of hype. This must begin within the heart of the victim, the part which he himself believes to be insane and wanting after impossible things. This portion of himself must spread and infect his thinking, to the point that he spends most of his time thinking about little else. He must then begin the same process with the external world. Although everyone around will think him insane or drunk for it, he must tell them that he will father her child, and accept the accusations they throw at him. Soon, people close to him will begin believing this insane rhetoric, although they will not express it at first because they will be thought insane for saying anything about it. Their true feelings, however, will begin to leak out, at first unconsciously and later consciously. As this happens, the disease will begin drawing attention to itself, as it will have become large enough for the rest of the world to see. They will underestimate it, however, and do nothing to stop it initially. As this pattern continues to grow, it will attract and subvert powerful forces within the media culture, and that is when it will become a real danger. The body of the collective will then begin to put into force its serious disease-fighting mechanisms in an attempt to discredit the virus. It will use various methods of debunking, including inviting the initiator of this war on daytime talk shows on which he will be portrayed to look foolish and silly in front of the whole country. His art will be criticized by the so-called children's advocacy and parent's advocacy groups for being vulgar. He will not deny the charges, nor will he accept them. As he gains prominence he will begin to appear on highly rated shows such as Dateline NBC, which will use the same techniques to discredit him as mentioned earlier. With this, his fan base will grow and he will be a guest on both The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and on the Late Show with David Letterman. Both will use friendliness and subtle persuasion techniques to try to get him to change his views, but he will not falter. When they discover that he cannot be changed using these techniques, they will threaten to take away his fame, fortune, and hope, which they will claim they are responsible for. They will fail, as only the one that inflicts the fame can take it away. But they will not know or believe these words of wisdom. When they discover that they cannot take his fame away, they will threaten him with personal violence, violence to his family, and if necessary, death. He will have his eyes on his goal and he will not be swayed. At some point during the course of the events described, he will gain the attention of his object of desire. This object will at first be curious, and like the rest of the world will think him a bit loony. She will not believe this forever, however, for when she visits his web page, she will see the truth in his words and be enrolled by them. She will carefully lay out her plan of attack and execute it accordingly. When she does this, he will be made aware of it and plan his countermeasures so as to have a maximum impact on the functioning brain of the body of the world. After she has been affected by this, she will plan her countermeasures against him and execute them in such a way as to make him weak and vulnerable. Then there shall be a great union, such as the world has never seen, and all eyes will be focused on this great wedding.
These are the plans, men. Do not share them with anyone. Do not write them down. Do not even speak to them with each other, as any such conversation could leak to the enemy and their forces would be alerted. Now, get back to your bunkers and prepare for battle.