2/13/96
Finished 2/27/96
By now, you may be asking yourself, "Does this guy really think that Madonna will want to read all this transparent flattery, overinflated egotism, and these delusions of grandeur?"
Well, actually yes, and I'm betting all my chips she will. Why? Because underneath it all I have a genuine love for Madonna, a genuine love for myself, and a true greatness which all human beings possess, and if Madonna is smart she'll recognize this (hint hint). So, you may ask, "If you are so real and genuine in your intentions, then what's the point of all this fakery, glitter, and hyperbole?"
Well, how else do you propose I get Madonna's attention? Should I sit in my room all day, treasuring my true affection, knowing that one day, if she wants to, Madonna will find me? I DON'T THINK SO! Madonna sure didn't get MY attention and awaken MY love by lazing around in one of her four million dollar mansions. She made her face appear on every tv screen, her music play on every radio station (at least every good one), and she got herself mentioned, interviewed, and photoed in countless magazines. I intend to make sure this document is seen by as many web surfers as I can possibly handle, just for the possibility that Madonna will read some of it.
I must admit, however, that I also have a more sinister motive for all this: CONQUEST. I have an enormous ego, and instead of hiding it for fear of shame, I have decided to take a different approach. Let's see how far this ego can take me. I want to find out what will happen if I, as Madonna puts it, express myself. And in this web page I am expressing myself, my fantasies, my feelings, and my hopes the best way I know how. I would also like Madonna to see that her words and music are having an effect on people such as myself. A perverted effect? Perhaps. I don't mind. It sure as hell beats having to repress all my desires and needs to the point of spiritual suffocation.
So, you may be asking, can I tough it? Will I be able to handle the hate email I expect to be getting shortly? I guess that's what I need to find out. It's one of the other reasons I'm doing this. I want to find out how strong my psyche really is. I've been hiding my soul from the world for years. Now it's time to test it in the fire, find out if all these years of supression have paid off. Could I get hurt? Sure. I'm ready for a little pain. Besides, whatever doesn't kill me will make me stronger. And if I'm going to have any chance of satisfying the greatest woman alive, I'll need all the strength I can get.