2/13/96-2/14/96
Name: Ben Kinder
Address: Withheld for security purposes
Phone #: Consult phone book.
Date of birth: July 29, 1976.
Desired position: Father of Madonna's child.
Requested pay: Lots of love and a strong, healthy,
beautiful baby. (gender negotiable)
Level of Official Education: High-school
dropout.
Previous experience: 3 years work at a great
preschool with dozens of wonderful children.
Reasons I should be hired:
Madonna, if you
hire me I will worship at your feet and kiss
the ground you walk on. Oh, I forgot. I
already do that. Well, I can't really
think of any other reasons why, so I
guess you'll just have to trust me on
this one. I would make a great father,
as I know you would make (and have made)
a great mother. If you're interested, you
know how to get in touch with me.