Want your product to be advertised here? Let me know what it's called and where I can find it, and if I want to, I'll take a look and evaluate it for quality and aesthetic pleasure. DO NOT send anything to me personally, try to make appointments in which I come into your better-than-life offices and test a rigged version, or call me on the phone. Doing any of these things will automatically get your product rejected. (As with every rule, I have one exception to this: If Madonna or anyone else sends me a free copy of her Sex book, I will place an endorsement for it here even if I don't like it.) Tell me a place where any old person off the street can buy your item. If I have extra time, I will go there and examine it and buy it if I feel it will fill a need of mine. I do not charge for ads. All you have to do is send me one email. That's it. If your product is good and I decide to check it out, it'll be the easiest ad you've ever contracted. If you intentionally send me pranks or crap, I will exact revenge. I know how to do this.
Now check out some of the stuff I advertise.