Houston, we have a problem Back Forward Contents

3/21/96

Houston, we have a problem

Houston, we have a problem. A big one. Just hours after writing that last article, a female co-worker essentially gave me a green light: her phone number. (Don't even ask how that can happen to somebody who is unemployed.) Now I have a big dilemma. What will I do?

Is it ethical to attempt to seduce a pop megastar, and at the same time be conducting sexual relations with the local folk? I have no idea. As far as I know, this local girl has no knowledge of my Madonna obsession. As far as I know, Madonna herself has no knowledge of my obsession with her. I think one thing is becoming clear: If I do pursue romantic relations with ... we'll call her Dora to protect her true identity. If I do pursue romantic relations with Dora, I must inform her of my active attempt to go after Madonna.

This, in a way, is really the pits. It shouldn't be, because I've got a great web page running, and now I also have a really nice girl wanting to become better acquainted with me. If I hadn't been so serious about these fantasies and hadn't been so actively expressing them to the public, this might not be such a problem. Then again, if I hadn't written and published all these fantasies, I wouldn't be the person I am. If I wasn't the person I am, there's a good chance Dora wouldn't have been interested enough in me to give me her number. I guess it's all or nothing in this game.

Pretty soon, I'm gonna have to be making a decision about this. I laid out, in the article Monogamy, a sort of fuzzy bunch of ideas on how I think a relationship between Madonna and I would work as it relates to having other lovers. I essentially said that I would expect her to have as many other men as she wants, as her lifestyle requires it. For myself, however, I created a different standard, although it wasn't fully clear.

This is really tough. If I hadn't been going around and actively promoting this page to Madonna's companies, I wouldn't feel quite so guilty. Why the guilt? I'm not even having a relationship. I haven't even said yes. I guess there's a part of me that wants to go ahead and pursue this girl, and a part of me that wants to have no romantic relations until either a year passes, or I get a clear rejection from Madonna. Well, I don't know. I'm going to have to think about this some more. I'll keep this web page, as well as anyone who has been bothering to read it for this long, updated on these events as they transpire.

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