3/21/96
Everybody! What is the problem with our society? Ok, let me be more specific. What is the problem with the way in which we conduct our sexuality? Anybody got a guess? It's not hard. I'll make it even easier. Who do we express our sexual feelings for? Duh. What have I been doing throughout this web page? What do some other Madonna fans I know do on a regular basis? What do I sit around at night and dream about?
Madonna! Sex with Madonna. Fucking Madonna. Being friends with Madonna. Worshiping Madonna. Taming Madonna. Cuddling with Madonna. Spanking madonna. Fulfilling every desire with Madonna. This is a disease. To have all the guys (and some girls too) sitting around and fantasizing about better-than-life relationships with superstars is unhealthy for everybody. Why should she be the object of all our sexual energies? It isn't just her, either. It's other Hollywood actors and rock stars as well. When all of society goes around talking about how sexy such-and-such actor or actress is, and how much we'd all like to fuck him/her, we are setting ourselves up for emotional sickness.
As much as she may wish to, Madonna cannot fuck every guy in the land. As much as we all may want to spend time with her, we cannot. Even if she could fuck every guy, girl, and child that wanted it from her, and even if there was time enough for each one of us to hold a private conversation with her, it would be unsatisfying to her and us. A person can only have so many real friends. When a person goes beyond their social capacity, they will be unable to relate honestly or fully to others. If Madonna tried to talk to each one of us, we'd be gravely disappointed, because her conversation would be uninteresting and generic. Same goes for sex.
So, what do we do? Some of us try anyway. After all, if we send enough good shit to her, maybe she'll pay attention to us once in a while. This works to a limited degree. Some of us engage in fantasies day and night; we become escapists. This may be good enough for some people, but I have decided that I want more. Every now and then, one desparate soul will try to get at her using any physical means possible. People who try that rightly end up in jail. A message to my fellow obsessed fans: WE ARE PATHETIC.
Guys, has this thought ever occured to you: There are other women in the world. Lesbians: There are other women in the world. Women who are heterosexual: Sean Connery and Richard Gere are not the only sexy studs around. Men who are homosexual: There are plenty of others besides ... Actually, I don't know of any big homosexual male fantasy objects. Maybe I'm just ignorant as to the icons of the gay community, or maybe they've just gotten past this nonsense ahead of the rest of us. If we could just look at the people around us, I think we'd see some pretty sexually stimulating, and otherwise engaging, individuals.
If I've said this, why do I still have this web page? Well, because I'm a part of our society. Part of being in and understanding a society requires me to learn its ways. I have to know what it's like to lust after a fantasy object. I must experience it for myself. I honestly want to meet, and make love to, Madonna. Therefore, I'm doing everything in my power (excluding the use of force against others) to make it happen.
This is why I wrote my pledge at the beginning of this page. If I'm going to go into mindless fantasies, I want to do it all the way. I want to become engrossed in my delusions to the point that they become indistinguishable from reality. If I do this, the fantasies I create will be made in such a way as to be consistent with objective reality. My dreams will be based in the physical world. They will be possible. This will allow reality to also be altered so as to meet my fantasies. There is a good chance that I will meet and seduce Madonna. It will not occur strictly as it does in my fantasies, nor will it be free of them. It will be a mixture. This is true even if Madonna never meets me.
Before I elaborate on that last statement, let me make another point. I never, in my pledge, stated what I would do after the one year is up. I'm going to state that now. If Madonna has not shown interest in me before March 12, 1997, I will begin on the hunt for another mate. I will take my own advise, as stated a few paragraphs ago, and take a look at those around me. If I see a girl I want, I'm going to tell her. If she walks away, I'll leave her alone and ask the next attractive one that comes along. If I get sued for sexual harassment, I'll do the time. My mating season is here.
Now, let me explain how my fantasies will partially come true, even if I never see Madonna in person. The fantasies are a definition, not of Madonna, but of myself. They help me clarify what I want. If I know exactly what kind of mate I want, I'll be much more likely to spot the right one when she does appear. Otherwise, I might never know if a person I see, or talk to, is right for me. Fantasies are a healthy way to uncover hidden desires.
For me, there is another reason my fantasies will merge with reality. This web page. In it, I have basicly detailed the kind of person I want to be with. Surely, at least one of the females reading it will be interested in me. Not only does expressing my fantasies help me to clarify who I will want, it helps others who might want me to see that I am here. I can't lose, can I?
Actually, another possibility has just entered my mind. If Madonna hasn't contacted me by the deadline, I could convert this web page into a girl magnet. Oh, man. This is perfect! Madonna, if you want me, you'd better let me know before next March. Otherwise, I think I'm gonna find myself a horde of love slaves. Wait a sec... Isn't that what she did? Wow! I guess I am a Madonna imitator after all.