6. Find Your Tribe. (How to Survive The Crash and Save the Earth.) Have I found my tribe, or am I still looking?

And damn, was it ever beautiful outside today!

Today at Open Harvest, I was asked if I would like to give out samples to people during some of my future volunteer shifts. The person coordinating it said that, of the volunteers, my name was among their top choices because they think I could be personable and informative enough to answer questions, but without talking the customers' ears off, as some others might tend to do.

(For a moment, the tales of Elusis at one of her former jobs flashed through my mind.)

Naturally, I said yes. (Yeah, flattery will get you everywhere, at least if it's mostly plausible.)

They then asked if there might be other times that would be good for me to come in. This is understandable, since the middle of the afternoon on Wednesday isn't exactly a peak time to be reaching a lot of customers. I replied with a fairly indefinite answer -- that my schedule is "somewhat" flexible -- but there are many times when I'm not available due to my schedule at the other job (you know, the one where I get a paycheck, meager though it may be), or other activities.

We agreed to discuss the specifics of scheduling later when other details are worked out, and left it at that for today.

Thinking it over after the conversation, I again found myself considering (for the Nth time during the past few months) just saying, "Hey, you want to just hire me on as a regular employee? Then I can be here on all sorts of days to do sampling demos, stock shelves, cashier, or whatever else needs to be done."

Then I remembered the conversation I had with the hiring person a couple months ago, when she had more-or-less indicated that they might be willing to create an unadvertised position, and I had said, "Nah, I'll stick with what I've got for now." I don't know if that theoretical position has been filled now, but if it was still available, would I want it?

Now more than before, my internal meter is saying, "For goodness sake, yes!"

Though it may not be perfect in every way (time has allowed me to see a few of its flaws), my spirit is far more in accord with what's going on at Open Harvest than the dear old gas station. Also, as I've spent more time around them, I've come to respect even more the knowledge and opinions of several people I'll call the "elders" regarding nutrition and healthy living. (Yes, there are a number of cute females in my age range who work there; a topic which has already been discussed. But there are also men and women who have been around a few decades longer than I have, and whatever they might lack in looks and charm, they make up for in wisdom and grace.)

Regardless of whether or not I go back next week, smile, and say, "Want another employee?", or of what their initial answer to such an inquiry might be, there's another question that's pressing around my mind. The self-query with which I began this rambling: Is this my tribe?

After finishing my shift and buying some groceries, I sat outside the front of the store in the sunshine eating spinach, reveling in the beauty of the warm autumn sun.

I took a leisurely pace to the church, stopping in the park to read for a while as well.

When I arrived at the UU potluck, I had to laugh at the food on the table. I saw with slight dismay that I wasn't the only person to bring chips and salsa. In fact, I was the third. Most of the rest of the table was covered with desserts -- brownies, chocolate dishes, cookies -- and other appetizers.

Last week, almost everyone brought entrees, and several people had commented on the lack of desserts. Well, this time around, we feasted on chocolate! (I did my best not to think too much about how much poison some of it might contain and enjoy what people had brought in good spirit, while I moderated my intake.)

In all honesty, it wasn't that crazy. The soup expert had made a pot of delicious bean soup, and a few more people did come in who brought more main-course type stuff and salad. So we still ate well.

After dinner, everyone separated out into their chosen activities, and I again went to the followup to the UU-101 class. Tonight was scheduled to be the final session of the followup class, but since we didn't quite cover all the material, and all of us were enjoying it so much, we decided to have yet another potluck followed by another class session next week too!

Just like last week, the class numbered 4 people (including the facilitator), though one person who was present last week was gone, but someone else showed up to bump the number back up. 4. A very nice number, I think. Small enough to have some intimate discussions to which everyone can contribute, but not so small that things get awkward or stall.

I shared several of the passeges from the hymnal I found noteworthy (posted here last week), others did too and we discussed those, and we talked about our lives, dealing with depression, gettingd reacquainted with nature, social action, how to deal with fundies when we encounter them, and even got sidetracked for a little while about the War in Iraq. (Though it didn't take long to figure out that all 4 of us were preaching to our own little choir on that one. Well, the description does say it's a "liberal" church. In more than one sense.)

With more encounters, I'm finding myself more at ease in the company of these people, though I'm still far from considering any of them close friends. Maybe they're not quite on the same life path I am (if I even know what path I'm on), but so far, there's enough common ground for me to keep returning to meet with them. The question returns again. Is this my tribe?

To answer this question, we need to define what can be classified as a tribe. In the "surviving the crash to create a sustainable future" sense, I would define a tribe as any group of people who get together and learn to depend on one another for day-to-day sustenance as well as emotional and spiritual support. People in a tribe need one another, and they know it in a very direct way.

In that sense, at least in the present context, the answer is no. None of these people are my tribe, because there are no tribes in the world I inhabit. (Somewhere in the world, I'm sure there are, but they're far away from me, outside the realm of my direct experience.) Though we do depend on the larger mechanisms of a massively complex society for day-to-day biological needs such as food and water, we are removed from anything resembling an intimate awareness of who brings us these things, or how they do it.

(Ok, so in a way, a co-op could almost fit the definition, because it does meet our need for good healthy food in a way unmatched by any other outlet in town, and there are frequently personal connections between many of the customers and employees of the place. But the relations are still dispersed to the point that I would not classify it as a tribe.)

The Lincoln Unitarian Church is not a tribe. The ad-hoc groups who got together in New Orleans to help one another became tribes, if only temporarily out of necessity. (As may end up being the case for more of us in some crash-of-civilization scenarios.)

The Starship Enterprise is not a tribe. It's too big; there are always random unknowns walking the corridors. We always see a few select members of the crew who know one another well and watch each others' backs (mostly the upper portion of the onboard hierarchy), but the majority of those who perform the day-to-day workings are anonymous and interchangeable.

Captain Malcolm Reynolds and the crew of Serenity. Now they are a tribe.

The anarchist camp I attended in August 2004. I haven't written much about it, but there were certainly elements of it that felt tribe-like, though it was such a short-term endeavor and so full of drama that calling that a tribe would be like calling a spark of static electricity a power source. Sure, you might feel alive while the charge pulses through your system, but you're more than likely to fry your circuit board, and be left with a puff of smoke.

Not that I'm complaining. I've fried my circuits again and again, and each time, they've found ways to repair themselves. More than likely, that wasn't the last time. My challenge is finding a way to keep it from hurting anyone else, with the eventual goal that maybe, just maybe, I'll come up with something both stable and functional enough to sustain a current and shine like a beacon.

But that's getting into an abstract metaphorical tangent. Let's head back to solid ground.

There is a distinct possibility that if and when civilization collapses ("Oh boy, here we go again with the apocalyptic gibberish." I can see imagine half the readers rolling their eyes already), there may be very little room for most of us to choose our tribes. As it was in New Orleans, people who happen to be in one another's vicinity during a crisis will simply have to band together and help one another to survive, regardless of how much they may like one another's music or religious views. In the event that civilization finally finds itself depleted to the point that it is unable to end the crisis, the tribes would simply carry on from there.

Of course, none of us really know for sure how this crash is going to play out. (I say "how", not "if", because at this point, I believe it requires a level of ignorance and denial comparable to the flat earth society to look at the multitude of scientifically verifiable factors pressing upon us, and still say that the present American way of life can continue indefinitely. I can see the rebuttals coming in the comments already. To quote our friend George, "Bring 'em on.")

So in conclusion, right now, I have no tribe, because there are no tribes. But it might not always be so. In a pinch, I'd much rather find myself in the company of the elders and laborers at Open Harvest, the caring and compassionate seekers at the UU church, the fiery independence of the anarchist survivalists, than, say, some of the folks who patronize my present place of employment. (I hated finishing that sentence, because I don't want to diminish or impugn any human being. But I cannot dodge the truth. There are some people I feel much better being around than others. That doesn't mean they have lesser worth as human beings. It's just a statement of my own self-interested preference.)

I would also add that while there is some merit in considering what I might like my future "tribe" to look like, there is a also a danger in getting so caught up in a prepare-for-the-crash mentality, or even a "get things together for the future" ( without taking into account the crash), that I may forget to notice the present, or appreciate the connections we have now for what they are. This goes along similar lines to what Jeremy Puma was talking about yesterday in his post. Some very wise statements there. Whatever would I do without all these wonderful little websites to fuel and inspire my spirit? :)

Maybe in a sense, in the absence of actual tribes, such virtual presences form a substitute for the tribal bonds through which our ancient ancestors communed. I can see advantages and disadvantaces to both ways.

Well, I'm all rambled out for the night. This is where my life is at, and hell if I know where it's going. Out.