Today, I rode over to the church, and, for the first time, used the meditation room to meditate for a while.

Personal solitary meditation is something I haven't done a whole lot of as such; certainly not on a regular basis. I suppose this is because I have never made a clear decision to make it part of my routine. Sometimes, I'll say, "I think I'll meditate for a few minutes now." So I do.

Then, after an indeterminite number of minutes, my mind will say, "Are we done with this now?" And I might say to myself, "Let's keep going with it a little longer." Then a little time will pass, and it will ask the same thing again. After a couple rounds of this, I decide to relent, stop meditating, get up, or change to a non-meditative position and think about something else.

Anyway, I pretty much ended up having just that experience at the church today, although I must say their meditation cushions are very nice, and the environment was excellent for the practice. (This time, I did not feel an overwhelming power of spirit consciousness in the room as I did during the tour. The gods are mysterious. Some days, their messages are loud, and on others, like today, they prefer to remain silent and subdued.)

From there, as the sun crept lower to the horizon, I journeyed south. I stopped in a park and sat for a while, enjoying the late afternoon.

When I got to the Jewel Heart location, I noticed none of the cars parked around, so I figured I must be early. Looking at the clock in a nearby grocery store, I discovered it would still be 45 more minutes until the meeting would begin! (The accuracy of my perception of time still needs adjustment. Or maybe I've just become accustomed to timing things according to the way the sun is positioned during summer months.)

I went over to Holmes lake and watched the sunset from the shore. What a lovely and beautiful scene. Migrating waterfoul all over the lake.

At the Jewel Heart meeting, we learned about the stages one can reach during meditation, according to the writings of the gurus. There are 9, but don't ask me to name them all. My memory is already foggy, but it was interesting nonetheless.

After the talk, we actually spent a few minutes meditating as a group. Something Jewel Heart had never done at any of the previous meetings I had attended. I was very glad we did that tonight, because it was one of the things I really missed about the Shambhala center classes of yore.

Having now attempted meditation in both settings (solitary and group) in the span of one afternoon, I think it's much easier for me to stick to it in the group setting. For one thing, there are no doubts about when it is time to stop. You just keep going until the gong. That's that. Also, when there are other people around you doing the same thing, it's easier to keep at it and not get distracted. For me, anyway.

I suppose if I really wanted to get serious about this meditation thing, there are measures I could take to make it work. A timer would be one way, so I wouldn't just be sitting there until it "seems" like the time to be done. Also, carving out a regular spot for it in the daily (or semi-daily) schedule might help.

But before I do that, I need to have a reason to be doing it. Something beyond "it seems like an interesting thing to try just for the hell of it".

Yanthor and I were talking about this tonight after the session. He mentioned dealing with stress as one of his biggest motivations. I don't think I have a lot of stress in my life right now. (I consider this a good thing.) What I do have though, is a mind that is demonstrably capable of taking me on some pretty wild and sometimes scary rides. Learning to find a place of inner calm amidst my own tumultuous confusion would be valuable, especially during the wildest periods. (Amend that: has proven valuable, at least to the limited extent that my level of ability allows. I'm sure if I practiced more often with regularity, that would grow.)

To round out the evening, we watched a DS9 episode. Initially, when Yanthor said he was going watch it, I wasn't going to join him, but then decided I was in the mood after all. The first time I watched that show in many many years. It was the one where Vic Fontane was introduced, and through his devious abilities, Odo and Kira finally got together. As I recall, that episode initially aired when I was at ucollege.edu, and I believe I watched it with Neelix and other assembled geeks back then too. In the basement of Prescott Hall. Ah, memories.

(If something there seems like a non sequitur, ignore it. So I used to know a talaxian years ago. I wonder, whatever happened to that one? Hmmmm....)

Bedtime now.