As I paid for my items at Best Buy, 2 clerks -- both male and female --teamed up on me while my items were scanned. They were "offering" me a bunch of free issues of Entertainment Weekly, or whatever it was. I already know how these scams work, and explicitly opted out of everything, wanting only to pay for the purchases I had selected. (One burn -- an easily reversed charge to my bank card when I thought I was getting a free trial of something -- happened at Media Play around 2.5 years ago. It was enough to keep me, a a fairly affluent customer at the time, away from that store, to which I have only rarerly ever returned since. Now I know the game, so I "just say no". At the same time, I felt sorry for the sales people, as they obviously had huge incentives to perform, and I could see that they were expecting to suffer somehow if I refused them. But I did it anyway. Their beauty could not sway me. Not yet, at least. If trends continue, the offer might also include an off-the-books free blow job by next year. We'll see.)

In Boulder, things were their usual busy self. Rush hour was still yet to come. In the Circuit City where I had been before, I tried waiting at the counter, but no clerks were around. Or maybe one of them was helping somebody else. Whawever. I went exploring. Nuff said. My receipt, cataloging the merchandise (I already know I'll be returning to reject at least one item later today):

• Waterworld. Widescreen. Starring Kevin Costner. For some reason, I really liked this overly expensive-to-produce movie, even though most other people claimed they didn't care so much for it. $9.99.

  Ogle plays it like a charm. Nice anamorphic transfer. One "WARNING" against piracy, and it goes straight to the movie. Good. I'll keep it. It was underrated to begin with, and needs to be preserved. No special featurse to speak of, but I don't need special features. I like the movie by itself.

• Item 2: Description on receipt isn't very descriptive. I'll just look in the bag to see if I can figure out what "024543129752 - PASS - DVD" means. Oh yes! The Passion of the Christ! Widescreen Edition. NO MATTER WHAT RELIGION IN CLAIMS TO REPRESENT, I WANT GOOD ART TO STAY AROUND. It was marked down to $15.99. The display on the way in told me this was as good as I was going to do with this one for a while, especially in a store that caters to the Boulder demographic.

  After along wait through the FOX/FBI warning (I could skip if I wanted to) ogle shows me the opening menu. I'd say it passes the test.

• Hangmen. $6.99. It was not the title of the movie that caught my eye. It was the name of the actress and the picture on the front. Sandra Bullock. Nuf said. You know my rule about that. No movie, no matter how bad it may otherwise be, is ever a complete waste of time if Sandra Bullock is in the cast. For less than the price of a typical theatre admission these days, I snapped it up. (Haha. Even on the plastic seal over the top, the all-caps red text SANDRA BULLOCK tells us the real reason this movie is in the store. The title of the film itself is unimportant, and is thus printed below in a tiny font.)

  Looks like ogle likes it, even though it's from a company I've never heard of, and the menu is so simple that I've seen fancier even on some Logan Brothers movies. I wouldn't be surprised if the whole thing was funded and distributed by Sanda's own company, done off the proceeds from her previous successes in major Hollywood blockbusters. An indie film from a star. Only in Boulder. Cool. Copyright 2003.

• Tales of the Kama Sutra 2: Monsoon. It's the second in the series from which I bought the first film on Sunday (from the same store), and watched yesterday. It wasn't the one I was looking for though. I wanted the dvd of the Artisan/Lion's Gate release. Nowhere it the store could it be found, nor was it on Circuit City's list. Oh well. The first one, while amounting to little more than cheesy soft porn, was good. This one would be too. $6.99. Same price.

  Comes up just fine on Argo. Yay! But before I start watching, let's finish cataloging the rest. [sigh]

• The Thirteenth Floor. Special Edition $9.99. For those who don't know, this beautifully profound scifi movie came out in 1999, right around the same time as The Matrix. Some only remembered The Matrix, but I want to remember The Thirteenth Floor as well.

  Wow, a Side A and Side B. Commentary tracks are included, along with lots of other neat things. My computer accepts both Side A and Side B. I believe that they have done a good job making sure it follows all the standards whose logos are printed on the back.

• Harsh Realm: The Ultimate Mind Game. From Chris Carter, Creator of The X-Files. Of course. I was never terribly impressed with it when the 3 aired episodes were broadcast, but I wanted to see if it would be better without Fox's ever-more-censor-happy hand. For $34.99, I thought it was a good deal. Then I came home to find Argo complaining about bad sectors before I could even start running any player. So these discs were probably defective pressings. Let's check again.

  Now I can apparently read it would trouble. This suggests to me that either (1) there is a vast conspiracy to make DVD's that chemically do strang things that change their ability to function over time, or (2) Argo's player, which is a few years old, takes a few minutes to warm up before it can properly read material that is stored in such a high density format. Makes sense.

  Ogle brings it up just fine now. And just from the opening footage, it does indeed look like a truly mind-fucking experience that only someone as twisted as Christ Carter could come up with. Why did Fox try so hard to drive him away? He was their best talent, and he was loyal to the network almost to a fault, until they finally made it impossible to put out his material without getting run over by all the bureaucrats.

  Now I can enjoy his work without their petty idiocy getting in the way. Or at least I have been led to believe I can. Go Chris Carter! Sliding the message that will eventually destroy their power right under the rador, through their own products. Will it work? As CrimethInc likes to say, it depends whether you are using revolution to sell your product, or using your product to sell revolution.

• SPEA - DVD LIVE AND MORE That's what the receipt says. Here's a hint. DVD's documenting the earliest moments of her world famous career are already disappering more quickly than you can count. This disc came out in tandem with the second album. I had looked for it and others at BOTH of the previous Best Buys I visited, but found nothing except what I already had.

  (Before long, this content will likely be virtually indistinguishable from some of the websites getting busted for distributing child porn on the net. Where does the law stand on that?) A red sticker on the front informs me that it is Playstation 2 compatible. Always good to know, I suppose.

  In the player.... Zomba video. Jive Records. And the familiar tune. "I think I did it again, I made you believe ... ... ...."

  Stop. This hurts too much. $19.99. On to the next one.

• Smashing Pumpkins. 1991-2000. Over 20 videos documenting the band's career. Parental Advisory, Explicit Content. $15.99. Argo knows what to do with it. And approves. Good. It was the only one left. It's mine now. And NO ONE can take that from me.

• 4 packs of Duracell batteries. count: 2. (In other words, 8 big fat batteries total.) D-Cells, to power my portable pipe organ given to me last Christmas if I'm even in the desert. I assume they're good, so I'm not going to open them yet.

Total at bottom of receipt: $143.09.

Finally, on the way back to enjoy my treasures, I wanted to remember how my stomach has been getting fed without having to spend hardly any money for the past several weeks / months. I picked up a few items at Vitamin Cottage to season my stew. Total charge on card: $4.26.

Also, I still owe mom $40 cash, as soon as the ATM card to replace the one that was lost in my wallet arrives in the mail. (They won't allow me to have cash without valid id, which should also be arriving in the mail soon.) On Thursday, I lost my wallet. That is why all of this has been so hard. I brought it upon myself as I protested anything and everything about how this world sucks so bad.

Capital One Balance as of yesterday: $0.

Capital One Balance as of now, if my gnucash records are correct: $393.40.

The only reason I unsealed the envelope and took that card (of several) out was because I reasonably concluded that it was time to stop searching every crevice for quarters every time I wanted to go somewhere in my car again. So I took the card with the intent of filling up the tank (which I did), and just having that felt so good that the rocket just shot up from there.

One common symptom of manic depression is that sometimes, patients will run around running up MASSIVE bills far beyond their ability to ever pay off. Then, when the trip ends, and harsh, depressing reality returns with full force, not only is the emotional damage to family and friends sometimes unrepairable, but the demands from creditors often becomes overwhelming, and can lead to deep depression, and sometimes suicide.

In this case, I am glad I did what I did, and still have no regrets. That may change later, but right now, I think my reasoning was solid. But that credit card -- the one with the lowest limit out of all of them -- will be staying away for a while.

A little later, I will check Amazon to see if they have the Kama Sutra movie I wanted. If they do, I'll consider using my Discover Card to order it. But I'll have to think long and hard about it first, because I'll have to make a trip across town to get the numbers.

More reflections may come later. Right now, another short nap.