Stepping back from my immediate stream of consciousness...

[Oh no. Now my dad is trying to yack at me again. I know he has cancer, but him trying to share his medicine with me is too much. He already did that once, and I didn't like the taste of it. Latest quote: "It's supposed to be very healthy." Yes, it's made out of natural items that anybody can eat, and I'm sure it helps him. But I hate having things pushed in my face. Too much to take. Too much. I'm in denial.]

Back to cataloging. First, returning to context. My attempt at having an online pagan mass utterly obliterated (that was documented already), I went out to my car, and drove to the bookstore. The nearest one that popped into my head: Barnes and Noble. (I love Black and Read, but it's more of a place to go when you want to lose yourself in whatever lost treasures come up. I was looking for something very specific, which meant, in meatspace, that Barnes and Noble was the nearest known alternative.)

I braced myself as I approached the space. Already, I had spent twice as much (on credit) as I had planned to when I went to Best Buy. (Back at Best Buy, before entering the store, knowing the sorcery that would take place inside, I told myself not to spend more than $50. But Millennium was too seductive, causing me to lose my resolve. After Best Buy, I had resolved not to spend any more money that day, and instead go to Mass and spend the afternoon in peace, relaxation, and contemplation. When that was not allowed either. So I traced back up the stack and saw. Entering the store, I kept resolute, and walked directly to customer service desk to ask my question.)

There was somebody else already in front of me. A dark skinned girl who might have been of indian origin (i.e. from India, not here) was helping him. First, I waited a minute. But then, something caught my eye. The classics. The ones I had never had time to read. The ones I wanted to read, but might never get a chance to if Bush, Ashcroft, and their minions have their way. (I had been listening to enemy radio on the way over. George W himself -- I kid you not -- had been talking in his chattery, slimy voice to Rush. Both had carefully evaded all the key issues that face America, while appearing to talk reasonably about the President's "plan" for our country. My country. MY country. I can't let them do this to MY country.)

The classics. Available at bargain prices too. Good binding. My will, again, broke down, and I picked up books with the intent to buy on credit. This was ok, because these were worth it.

Someone else had gotten in line behind the man already. I realized that if I wanted service, I was going to have to just go over and stand there. No wandering around with the intent to return when the last customer was finished.

I stood behind the next person in line. Another company employee came to help the new person that was now in front of me. I was next.

[9:03am: Dad starts extolling me to gorge on his food again. bananas and peaches. I said a polite "no thanks". Now my headphones are on as a ward against further disruptions, but I fear this will not last for long. He doesn't even have any idea what this is doing to me, does he? No, he thinks he is being kind. And he is. So kind, it hurts.]

Eventually, the beautiful girl finished up with the customer in front of me. She smiled. I was next. This was a bizarre karma, to say the least. My question had been prepared before I ever entered the store. But now, with her looking like she did, and me being me, it was going to sound like a pickup line. Oh well. So be it.

"Do you have any of the kama sutra texts available in this store?"

She replied, that yes, they do. Was there any specific title or work that I was looking for?

I replied that no, I just wanted to see some of the texts, and didn't know what section they would be in. Would it be religion, human sexuality, culture or... somewhere else? "Could you just point me to a section where they might be?" I asked?

She replied. "I think those would probably fall under the human sexuality department."

I nodded. "Well where is that." Doing everything I could to avoid direct eye contact with this girl. Now was neither the time, nor the place.

Finally, she decided to lead. She walked around from behind the counter, led through the bookshelves, DIRECTLY to the spot where the books I wanted were hidden. Didn't even need to look anything up or check the computer. (Unless there was an invisible digital teleprompter on the wall behind me, or some such thing. But I doubt it.)

"kama sutra. here you are." Very professionally, she pulled the cover of one of the larger hard cover books slightly off the shelf. and waved her hand cross the shelf to reveal about 3 shelves full of books bearing the characters "kama sutra" in the title. An aura told me that if Bush wins re-election, all of them will be gone by next year. I had to be selective.

I thanked the customer service rep profusely, and said "perfect". This was all I would need. This released her, so she could return to her bondage. I think I may have detected the smallist whiff of hesitation as she exited the aisle to go back to her work, but if so, I did not notice. Beautiful.

I pulled out the book she had fingered, and examined it. It contained photographs of white people performing the positions, and was priced at around $20. Nice, but this was NOT what I was looking for. Surely, somewhere... ... ... Kama sutra this, kama sutra that, kama sutra techtique... Almost the entire thing had been taken over by lazy marketers and wannabe porn producers. Or something. Well, their stuff was probably good to. But I wanted the TEXTS.

Accessing the other derivitaves would be easy -- the idea of this search itself had sprung from watching a cheap B-movie earlier in the morning. Eventually, with enough mental work and fast scanning the shelves with my eyes, I found what I was looking for, almost buried beneath the reams of glitter.

I took the book I wanted, added it to my stack, turned around, immediately saw ANOTHER book that I really wanted, and regained my awarness.

I quickly re-examined my stack of books tallied up the estimated prices, asked myself if this was really what I wanted to do. Confirmation. Double Confirmation. Triple Confirmation. YES.

No more magic will be worked on me against my will in here. Not today. Not casting my eyes aside again, I walked directly up to the front line, waited until a register was available, and asked the clerk if she would mind holding onto my books for a minute while I ran out to my car to get my credit card.

Here's how this game with myself worked: Before entering the store, I had left the card in the car intentionally. If I was of sound mind, and discovered what I was looking for, I would be able to put the books on hold, run back to the car, grab my altogether too dangerous piece of plastic, and return to pay for what I had already selected.

If I was NOT of sound mind, I would have trouble finding the credit card back in the car, get distracted by Tobias's musical colors, or... get lost in something else, and my money would be safe. But that was not to be.

After leaving the stack of books with the clerk, I ran to the car, found the card immediately at the bottom of my tin mint box, and returned to the store to pay, estimating that the amount would be somewhere near $60.

Here's the receipt, plus brief descriptions of the products as I pass them through my hands again. In order (retrieving them from the other bags into which some of these books have now been scattered, and returning all of them to the B/N bag for transport. None of these will be going back to the store, but I want to keep them together for a little while longer):

• Hard Times, by Charles Dickens. Barnes and Noble Classics series, from the Barnes and Noble press. Complete vertical market integration. An old painting of a girl on the cover. I cannot identify it. Mixing the artists' art with other art. Lovely. 300 pages, including commentaries, introduction, and other accompanying bits of scholarly info. I wanted to get it while it lasts. Price: $5.95. Thank you.
• The Histories, by Herodotus. $6.95. Over 500 pages thick. Wow, who needs college if you can just go buy these. I'll just learn to camp out in the wilderness for 4 years, fill my car with books, and have "college" in the trees, thank you. This would be worth a little debt. Much easier to work off than a student loan. Added to my stack, it was.
• The Histories, by Herodotus. $6.95. Over 500 pages thick. Wow, who needs college if you can just go buy these. I'll just learn to camp out in the wilderness for 4 years, fill my car with books, and have "college" in the trees, thank you. This would be worth a little debt. Much easier to work off than a student loan. Added to my stack, it was.
• Persuasion, by Jane Austin. $5.95. 200+ pages. I've always thought it might be fun to find out more about all these literary figures whose names keep cropping up through pop culture. This too would be part of my personal college.
• Dracula, by Bram Stoker. A picture of a silver cross on the front. If I am to improve my skills as a psychic vampire and killer of vampires, I must know these tales. $6.95. Worth it.
• Dracula, by Bram Stoker. A picture of a silver cross on the front. If I am to improve my skills as a psychic vampire and killer of vampires, I must know these tales. $6.95. Worth it.
• Vatsyayana Kamasutra: A new translation by Wendy Doniger and Sadhir Kakar. From the Oxford University Press. This looked as good as anything I was going to find, and it was only $12.95 USA. Not nearly many pages as any of the other books I was going to buy, but still... THIS was what I had come for, and the price was still fair. so I felt honor bound to follow through. It also has a nice glossy cover. The English text appears readable, and also has many, many footnotes to further explain some of the nuances.

The last one that caught my eye, and gave me the "get it NOW or never, before Bush takes total control for 4 more tired years" vibe. A quick check of the price revealed that it was still reasonably priced, but I had to get out of the store NOW. $14.00. I was done. Lesbian Sex Secrets for MEN. (Emphasis theirs. Sort of.) Yep, this is what college is all about. Learning.

Total at the bottom of my receipt when I walked out. $57.10. I had estimated it would be $60. I was getting better at this. But I had to be careful. Ever vigilant.

My drive around town, to plunder the city's most valuable retail outlets at the cost of just a little promised work in the near future continued...