Well, the theory was that my dad would be moving out of here by the end of the month. Obviously, that hasn't happened yet, nor is it likely to happen within the next 48 hours. It seems the management at the new place he's moving into is being slower than expected at allocating a unit. So he stays here for a few extra days until it's all sorted out. Odd stuff.

Up late again. I didn't really intend it that way, but maybe it's inevitable. Pseudo-work projects seem to be getting stalled right when they were supposed to be wrapping up. (Thanks to parties other than me.)

I often wonder if I will ever have a "real job" in the tech world again. Maybe it's best to just be content with the here and now.

This morning^H^H^H^H^H^H^H afternoon, I walked over here instead of driving from mom's place. The weather was perfect, and the sun felt so good. Also, with gas prices being as ridiculous as they are, it seems silly to drive when walking is so pleasant, and takes less than an hour. Only downside: Now if I want to sleep in my bed tonight, I have to walk back. Ugh.

Yesterday, I met with scott at the super duper data center. Not that there was anything particularly requiring our presence there. It just seemed like a dandy place to meet and hang out. We wandered around, glanced at the servers, ate some instant mac + cheese out of the kitchen, and chatted about random projects and stuff. Afterwards, scott went to an ATM and withdrew some money, which he gave to me as partial payment for the work I've been doing over the past few months.

It seems like we're all just sort of scraping by these days. And by "all", I guess I mean me, scott, and my dad. Not quite starving, but not exactly hitting a windfall either. Although scott always seems to be convinced that we're on the verge of hitting it big. I admit, there do seem to be some signs of things getting better, little by little. Here's hope.

On the personal front, I'm fighting depression on a daily basis. Were it not for my parents, I probably would have done myself in by now. I am just not compatible with this world; I hate it, I feel there's no place in it for me, and I want out. But every time the thought comes into my head to end it, I know I can't do that to them. No way. As long as either mom or dad are alive, I'll keep plodding along.

But after they pass on? I make no guarantees. In a world that doesn't want me any more than I want it, there's little logical reason to continue the silly charade of living. But that's probably a long way off. A lot can change in the course of several years, so I suppose it's best to leave that debate until it becomes more relevant.

Well, I would like to sleep in my bed tonight, so I guess I'll start walking. Peace.