Hmm, how long since my last rambling was it? Just a couple hours. So be it. At certain times, there is more to say than at others.

I had a chat with scott about the situation, and re-tabulated all the hours I've clocked since December. He said he's going to try to get something deposited in my account tomorrow, as part of a "good faith" effort, and to keep me surviving.

For the work we're doing right now, even after it does get done, there's a bit of billing cycle turnover time. When it does happen, that will be a pretty decent amount of money, at least by recent, post-dot-crash economy standards.

So we're cool there.

On the mental health front, I'm becoming increasingly worried about how I'm going to fare. There are more signs that I might very well be on my way to a not so pleasant state of brain malfunction. I'm feeling the dread, the hints of the black paranoia, and a profund helplessness in the pit of my stomach. These signs are all too familiar, and at this point in my life, virtually unmistakable.

I wonder if now would be a good time to start self-administering a few of the heavy duty anti-psychotic medications I've got stocked away. Those things can be absolutely gruelling when it comes to side effects, but I think they would be better than having my mind go off a cliff. If I can catch it now, maybe I can avert disaster.

Now I'm feeling sleepy again, which might actually be a good sign. Maybe I should heed that instinct, since it might be good for me. Even though there's more work to do...

I can do it tomorrow. Whatever happens, I know it's all in my mind. Must... sleep, and feel better again.