[This is Part 12 in the multi-part epic describing the wedding I attended at the beginning of August 2002. Previous episodes: Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11]

August 4, 2002. Late afternoon at the Longview Luxury Suite. With the bride and groom on their way to Canada, and the ceremony wrapped up, there was finally a chance to kick back and relax.

I felt the need to burn off some excess nervous energy, which seemed to be at the brink of overwhelming my system. I decided to take a walk, with my ever-handy cd player in tow.

scottgalvin.com wandered by and asked "Hey, what's happening this evening?"

When I informed him of I was going for a walk, he was like, "Hey, that's a great idea. I want to come too. Just give me a second to get ready."

Though I had initally been thinking of it as an opportunity to get myself some much-needed alone time (me and my cds) to reflect on things, the idea of hanging some more with the legendary scottgalvin.com didn't sound at all bad either.

Shortly after, Nemo wandered by, and asked what was going on. I told him scottgalvin.com and I were going to go for a walk, and invited him to come along too. (The more the merrier.) He showed interest in the idea, and agreed.

Well, not wanting to leave anybody out, we also located and invited Humblik. I would have asked Yanthor and Anya, but they seemed to have momentarily vanished without a trace.

Over at the main house, as the rest of us were just about to go, I noticed $supermodel_cousin hanging around with no apparent activity. I told her that several of us were going for a walk, and that she too was welcome to join us if she wanted. It was the polite thing to do.

To my somewhat surprised ears, she actually said it sounded like fun, and joined the group.

What had begun as an idea for me to get some solitary exercise had turned into a group event.

On the way out, scottgalvin.com grabbed the infamous BB gun and carried it along. We wondered out across the river behind the gigantic backyard, and found a trail through the woods that ran parallel to the stream.

Nemo and I found some mysterious berries growing in the bushes, which he said were good. They tasted pretty good, although the thorns that had to be traversed to get to them were rather annoying. We were falling behind the rest of the group, so I suggested we get back on the trail.

When we caught up, scottgalvin.com was giving $supermodel_cousin a lesson in target practice. Humblik and I also made some attempts with it, and I managed to get a hit on the first try. (Luck, skill, or natural ability? Maybe it was the alignment of the planets.)

After some more tips from scottgalvin.com, $supermodel_cousin managed to hit the target. I proclaimed that she should be awarded a beer for this achievement. She say that sounded good, as long as it wasn't Budweiser.

This word "beer" actually sounded like the hatchings of a really good evening plan (well, to some of us anyway). scottgalvin.com, $supermodel_cousin, and myself started discussing possible ways we might get to a bar during the evening. But we concluded that since none of the 3 of us had a vehicle available, bumming one off of someone else, especially for that stated purpose, might be slightly difficult.

On the way back, scottgalvin.com, $supermodel_cousin, and myself (the others had split paths, I guess), discussed a question that has haunted and stumped even the immortal superbeings which exist in 11 dimensions beyond our own. The question? What will it take to get Linux on the desktop of the common user?

(And yes, believe it or not, $supermodel_cousin did have some ideas to contribute to this discussion, or at least she managed to follow along well enough to make some cogent comments. Wish I could remember what they were.)

I found Yanthor in the guest quarters, and we started talking. Our conversation drifted into what might be considered one of those Deep and Profound discussions.

Yanthor brought up some quandries he had been having about some of the Biblical teachings. He specifically mentioned the book of Ester, talking about how, in those days, it was customary for to kings to practice a "try before you buy" philosophy when choosing a queen. Knowing this was the case, why would God call upon Ester to go before the king, effectively asking her to break the rules, not to mention violating the direction of her own life.

I attempted summarize what Yanthor was saying. "So, basically God was asking Ester to be... a slut."

Yanthor: "Yes."

I followed with a question. "Then what does that make God?"

Yanthor paused before replying. "A situational ethicist." (The significance of that comment is probably only apparent to those who have been steeped in the dogmas of the Adventist collegiate system. Situational Ethics is considered a Bad Thing; theology students and professors love to debunk and refute it early and often.)

I contemplated telling Yanthor about my own "sins" which had occurred less than a week prior (he had not yet red the ramblings entry). I was virtually dying to talk about it with someone. But I decided against it. That was a giant can of worms which didn't need to be opened here or now. He would find out soon enough anyway.

He proceeded to ask me about some of the Buddhist teachings I had been studying, and we were joined by Nemo and Humblik. Though I am no authority on the matter, I did my best to answer the questions presented, as well as giving my reasons for attending meditation and introductory study lectures at the Shambhala Center.

I described my disillusionment with the lack of meaning in some of the aspects of consumer culture (as well as the thrill of it, without which there would be no conflict), my life in general, and how I found the Buddhist practices to be a handy way of coping in a world where even with such enormous wealth as ours, there never seems to be enough. We always feel like we need more, because we are following a trail which continuously distracts us from our present reality.

After a brief silence, Yanthor asked Nemo, who had been pretty much quiet up until now, about his thoughts. I too was curious.

Nemo could be described as the "devout" member of the group. Though many of us have strayed and diverged from the Adventist/Christian teachings to varying degrees, Nemo remains an ardent believer. He and I had had our disagreements on the subject in the past (unfortunately, due to the ever-changing nature of the web, only my half of that debate is still available online).

I told Nemo that I would also be interested to hear his views, prefacing the conversation by stating that based on previous discussions, it had become obvious neither one of us was going to convince the other of the veracity of his beliefs (or perhaps, in my case, lack thereof). But still, as long as they don't turn into flamewars, such discussions can be fun, as well as occassionally leading to greater insight.

So I questioned Nemo about his faith, not because I had any intention of sharing it, but because I wanted to find out something that I hadn't yet learned from previous online discussions. I wanted to know and understand his reasons for following the path he had chosen.

To attempt to summarize from memory a conversation that was, as of this writing, held over a year ago. Nemo believed that human beings have an inherent need of the soul, which can only be truly filled by serving and knowing God. God is manifested through Jesus, so getting to know Jesus is the way to fill that need.

"How do you get to know Jesus?"

"Read the Bible and pray." He admitted that this sounded, on its surface, a bit like a cliché, but went on to state that most people who call themselves Christians do not truly follow the way of God. Also, there is much more to praying than simply kneeling every night before bed and saying a few words followed by "Amen". He referenced a book which contained instructions about how to pray in such a way as to be conducive to really getting to know Jesus better.

We were being called to supper, and we were hungry, but the discussion we were having was so excellent, that I suspect none of us really wanted to get up. After being beckoned several times by ambassadors from the kitchen, we finally relented.

Before we went, I asked everyone present if they would have any problem with me repeating the contents of the preceding discussion on the web. Each person present -- Humblik, Nemo, and Yanthor -- said that would be fine, and even added that it was a good idea. I honestly thought I would be writing and posting it much sooner than actually turned out to be the case. Such is the way of things.

We feasted on pizza with the groom's family around a packed table. To be honest, I don't recall most of the conversation that happened there. Snippets and fragments. That's not just because it happened over a year ago. I wouldn't have remembered it the next day either. Things weren't parsing. My brain was at its end, much moreso than I had yet realized. Sleep deprivation, lack of medication, and 4 fairly stressful (though very enjoyable) days in a non-familiar environment was catching up with me, and I knew it. I needed sleep, but that wasn't the only thing I needed.

I also wanted to be with my friends longer. It didn't seem fair that everybody would be splitting to the four corners of the earth in a matter of hours. Old friends, new friends, renewed ties with casual acquaintances, a hottie so out of my league that it wasn't even funny sat across the table, and all I could do was go into a daze. Which was more amazing? The fact that we were all here like this now, or the fact that it would all be over before anyone could blink?

It was too much. I slumped over and rested my head on the table as the conversation went on into the night. Occassionally, when somebody said something that caught my attention, I popped back up out of it momentarily.

My tenuous grip on reality was starting to slip. That was okay though. The wedding was over, and it had gone well. I had not only given my toast to the bride and groom, and gotten that butterfly-inducing act over with, but had actually received several very nice compliments about it afterwards. I had managed to keep it together when it counted. That's what mattered. Now I could start to let myself slip without fear that I would screw things up.

After what seemed like hours into the late late night (but was probably more like only an hour or two), the group broke for bed. The remaining male members of the wedding party went back to our quarters and prepared for bed.

Before going to bed, I encountered scottgalvin.com and thanked him for the walk earlier, as well as the pointers he had given me before the wedding (which seemed to have taken place ages ago, even though it was only earlier in the same day), as well as the live action flirting lesson, in which $supermodel_cousin had been a not-so-unwitting subject.

scottgalvin.com, full of energy as ever, said something about being honored (I think). I showed scottgalvin.com the little door that the super fat cat wandered in and out through during the night, and how it needed to be opened in order for the little guy to get through. We got to talking, and he started elaborating about dating incidents from times past.

Again, I was agonized. I wanted to have this discussion. I wanted to listen. But my brain was shutting down. I had to interrupt him, and told him that though I was eager to hear it, we would have to talk about it later. My brain was exhausted, and I needed sleep.

He said, "No problem, we'll get together some other time to talk." Although I could tell he was disappointed. As was I.

After the lights were out, I laid my head down on the pillow, and went right to sleep. For an hour or two. Uggh.

Then, with the night sky just as dark, I was awake again. I listened to cd after cd in an attempt to pass the time and/or soothe myself back to sleep. But the best I could do was to let my brain engage with the music as my mental senses took leave of me.

I had lost my grip. But that was okay. Only a few hours, and a plane ride home, and I could recoup in the familiar solace of my castle lair. I just had to make it that far.

The wedding had not only happened, it had been an unforgetabble event that I am sure I and others involved will still remember when we are 80 years old.

Most importantly, Jaeger and Kiesa -- Ted and Gem, the most awesome couple I've ever known, had gotten married. That was what counted. That was what made it all worthwhile.

I laid back and rested my eyes as morning dawned again.

[But wait... There's still more to come before the wedding series is over! Stick around for... Epilogue -- Boulder Reception.]

...

[After that, I am planning an entirely new epic series which can also be procrastinated indefinitely. It will be entitled "The Edge of Oblivion", and will cover in depth events which occurred between this -- Part 12 of Wedding epic -- and the soon-to-come Wedding Epilogue. Stay tuned.]