Tuesday, I got up in the morning, scanned the want ads, employment guides, browsed rentacoder, and then.... something strange happened. Or maybe it wasn't so strange.

I stopped panicing and realized that, one way or another, everything is going to be alright.

In celebration of my loan being paid off, I took my parents out to eat at Cici's pizza. Initially, they said I shouldn't pay for dinner since I was out of work, but when I told them the reason, they assented. Besides, Cici's Pizza, while highly delicious, is very affordable.

On Tuesday night, I worked on the postgres schema for the next version of Bitscape's Lounge (mostly cleaning out cruft), and twiddled my thumbs pondering how the data migration is going to work.

Wednesday, I decided it was time to learn a new skill: Java Servlets. I got a test install of Apache Tomcat running on Argo, read a few online docs, and decided I needed some deeper understanding.

I made a trip to B/N, used the gift card in my wallet to purchase the Bear Book, and delved in. I decided that the next version of the Bitscape's Lounge web interface will be created using Java Servlets. No joke.

After reading a couple of chapters, I realized that my knowledge of Java itself is, well, rusty at best. Another trip to the BN yielded the tiger book, which I have since been reading ravenously, as well as using it as a handy reference while reading the bear book. Though I felt slightly guilty at expensing this to my now stagnant bank account, I figured that even if there's a small chance that I can land a better job by legitimately adding "Java" as an item to my resume, it will be worth it.

In addition to downloading thes new skillset modules into my brain at an exhilarating pace, I've received lists from both jaeger and scott regarding things that would be nice to have done on Hydrogen. So far, I've done one item off each list. Maybe I'll do another before the night ends tonight.

My dad has been having terrible struggles with his PC. He bought a piece of software called ACT which is supposed to help him manage his leads. He spends hours futzing around trying to figure out how to use even the most rudimentary of features.

Sometimes, when I hear him getting frustrated, I wander over to see what's going on. Usually (though not always), his problems are solved with a few minutes of randomly poking around the interface.

This morning, before I woke up, I had a dream that I was going back to the deli. Wearin my King Soopers uniform, I was about to go back to the job I thought I had left behind forever.

And then I woke up. Part of me wished that the dream had been real, so I could just go back to work, and not have to worry about finding another job again.

But for another part of me, it was a nightmare. I don't want to be back there. I want to more FORWARD, to better things.

And then I just chill out, open my Java book, and focus on learning. Improve. And trust that things will work out.

I will find my direction. Peace.