Yesterday, I receieved an email from a former coworker who I hadn't seen in over a year.

The message, to use a direct quote:

Get off you ass and do something to affect you position in life.....

I did.

Before I go on, a little history recap...

This was the same person to whom I had attempted to write an email shortly before I lost my job in August. A former employee, he had been laid off during the mass downsizing last year. I sent an email to the address I had been told was his when I was at the peak of my insanity, hoping for some kind of.... support, I guess. But it was nuts. Inflamatory (not toward him, but others), emotinally charged to the max, and scatterbrained as my mind at the time. It ended up in the hands of company officials, and was used as evidence against me when I was fired.

At the time, I couldn't imagine that "N" would rat me out in such a manner. Though I wouldn't have really considered him a personal friend, my instinct always told me that he was trustworthy. This was reason I tried turning to him during the midst of a personal crisis, even though we hadn't know each other all that well before.

So I assumed that I had not, in fact, reached who I thought I was reaching. I had hit a decoy. A trap, setup to catch the "disloyal". What a fool I was.

When I later learned that this individual had been rehired as my replacement, I contemplated the possibility that yes, I had in fact reached who I thought I was reaching, and despite my instincts, I had been turned in. Backstabbed. But it still didn't fit.

So, at that point, I decided that this was an issue on which I would forever remain clueless. Let a mystery be a mystery, because I don't have the brainpower to figure it out.

During the following months, as I retraced events, and again read the words I had written during that time, a third possibility crept into my mind. When I looked at it again, I painfully realized that the email I had written was really, over-the-top NUTS. What if it had reached him, and he had forwarded it, not with the intention of being a tattle tale, but in an attempt to help in some way by getting other people more involved?

As much as it hurt me to admit it to myself, this was the only conclusion that really seemed to fit. (I don't know why it didn't occur to me earlier; it wouldn't be the first time someone at that company has tried to help me by sharing information about a situation with HR, only to have it used against me. But that references another story for another time.)

But I still wasn't sure. So I stayed silent, and decided to let the unknown past rest.

Then yesterday, out of the blue, he gets back in touch with me.

Obviously, he was more up to date on events in my life than I was on his, as I would find out soon enough.

His words were a bit of a shock to me, not only because of the fact that he knew exactly how my life has been going even though we hadn't talked in ages (writing a web page like this does seem to cause that effect sometimes), but because what he said hit right where I've been having a hard time lately.

As of this week, I had pretty much given up. Nobody seems to want to hire during this downturn for anything other than the lowliest jobs which don't pay a living wage. A tech job where I would actually enjoy what I'm doing? Forget it.

Or.... maybe not?

This struck up a conversation, in which I found out that my former coworker has recently landed a job at a very prestigious company (which will go unnamed here, but everyone knows about it). He lives in another state now, and loves what he does.

The message: Don't give up. Sometimes you can get lucky if you try, even if it seems impossible. He is living proof.

I also learned the truth. Yes, he had receieved my email, and had forwarded it, in hopes that the people around me on a daily basis might know what I was going through, and help if possible. This, I can understand.

So, that's a mystery solved, and a strong dose of inspiration worth more than 10 so-called "motivational speeches" featuring $20 brochures. Keep sending resumes, and keep spirits up.

Tomorrow, I help Jaeger and Kiesa move. I think it will be fun.