As the Reverend's latest batch of discordantly luscious music pumps again through my headphones, I take to the web for another mindless romp.

Today, the deli manager was in when I arrived. After confirming that I had given my two weeks notice, she asked if there was any particular reason for my leaving. Had anything happened here to drive me away? And was there any way I could be convinced to stick around?

Initially, I responded in the negative, that my newspaper gig looked like a good opportunity to earn more money. But after a bit of hesitation, I admitted that I had been feeling rather burned out at the deli lately, that it seemed like the impossible was expected sometimes, especially on busy nights. (I specifically mentioned the recent nightly inspections that have been a source of annoyance for several of us.) So yes, there were negative factors that contributed to my decision.

She said she could understand, and appreciated the feedback, thanked me for my honesty, and would attempt to talk to others higher up in the management chain about improving things. (My suspicion is that the effect of this would be dubious, but it's good to know that somebody's trying.)

And an offer. She pointed out that my first raise and benefits will kick in soon. (I've logged nearly enough hours now.) If I quit now, the newspaper gig doesn't work out for some reason, and I decide I want to return to the deli, my seniority would be lost. That would be a bummer.

She offered to keep me on the staff a little bit longer for 2 or 3 days per week (the technical minimum is 20 hours/week, but she said she might be able to get around that in my case), so I could do both jobs for a while. If the newspaper thing doesn't work out or I decide that I utterly hate it, I could go back to near-full time at the deli with nothing lost. (Obviously, that's what she's hoping for.) She will work around my newspaper schedule, so I can have some time to decide if I really want to switch.

It didn't take much thought to realize that this was a very good idea. Through I'll be working my ass off, with very little free time for a few weeks, it minimizes my risk in all areas. If the newspaper thing sucks or I suck at it, I've still got a job a the deli, along with slightly better pay than before. If the newspaper thing works, then I can fully phase out my deli job as needed.

I warned her that assuming the newspaper job works out, I'll probably be quitting the deli after a few more weeks anyway. Even if I like both jobs equally, the newspaper is likely to pay significantly more, thus tipping the scales in its favor. And working 6-7 days per week (2 or 3 of which are 12 hour days) doing two jobs for more than a few weeks on end is a formula for total breakdown.

But for the near term, I'll handle it. I'll be busy.

I would also comment that there is something to be said for having a manager who genuinely seems to care about my long term well being, and is able to handle criticism, even as I am almost certainly preparing to depart. Even though I believe the path I am taking to be the best one for me, it again makes me pause to question. "Do I really want to leave this behind?"

...

Yesterday, I met with $mentor[0]. We went on a leisurely hike in the sunshine up the northern mesa next to Golden. As always, there was much discussion about life, the way of things, etc etc etc. Twas good.

I wasn't as energic as usual due to the fact that I've been fighting the gradual encroachment of a sore throat since Monday. Many gallons of water went through my system in an attempt to ward off this demon.

It seems somewhat better after today, but still not gone completely. I shall feed it more water, and another good night's rest tonight.

On that note, this rambling is terminated.