The thing that almost sucks as much as losing my apartment is that with it, I'm going to lose my hi-band connection, at least for a while. The connection by which this web page, and all associated stuff, is served. I hate it. But since we are now dealing with the inevitable, why not make the best of this final month here? (And yes, there will be some kind of future after that, but it's very hard for me to see it right now.)

So here's what I'm going to do. As of now, the media section is completely open. No passwords. No obfuscation. No restrictions. Everybody can download whatever you want. What's the RIAA gonna do anyway? Shut down my connection?

Granted, it is a bit slow, thanks to the outgoing bandwidth cap. Nothing I can do about that. But truthfully, nothing would make me happier than to see this line saturated all month. Well, aside from getting a job, that is.

I contemplate also throwing my entire porn collection up too, but... not sure if anyone really wants to see that. Aw hell, I'll throw it up anyway. Who cares? If the thought sickens ya, don't venture into the "x_the_secret_porn_collection" directory . But if someone gets a little enjoyment out of it... well... then it's worthwhile. I'd take time to do some better categorization, but... I've got plenty of other things to do with my time right now.

Is this a really dumb idea? Do I even care at this point? Is anyone even gonna want to download all my random crap? If other net junkies out there are anything like me, everyone probably has more than enough entertainment that suits their own preferences better anyway.

I mean, 10, or even 5 years ago, I would never have dreamed of the wealth of stuff that could be shared over these wires and fit on a hard drive. It's crazy.

But now that the renaissance is truly upon us, "they" want us all to run away in fear, lock down everybody's computers with "secure" DRM, put up content filters at the proxies, and effectively turn the entire net into Michael Eisner's (and only Michael Eisner's) playground.

Fuck that. It's my playground too.

Until I lose my connection, that is. And don't have any electricity to power my computer.

Screw it. Feeling very disenfranchised right now. My life might be going to hell, and I feel altogether too powerless control what happens. Yeah, I might be lucky enough to get a job. And I'll try. But ultimately, how much control do I really have?

Yeah, I can throw my hat in the ring. Throw my resume around. When I'm lucky enough to get an interview, do my best to give a good impression. But when the hiring decision is made, how much input do I get, even though it's my life in the balance?

Sorry, I'm spouting shit again. Not being a class act. Maybe I should float back into what Jaeger calls "State 1". Except that's getting harder and harder. And State 3... Well, I was at least in the vicinity of State 3 a little over a month ago. When you do the best you can, and all you hit is dead ends, how do you make yourself keep going indefinitely?

So now, I find myself stuck way too often in State 2. Hate it.

Ok, time to quit whining.

Peace on earth. It's not an impossible concept. Everyone: Act with kindness toward yourself, kindness toward others. That's really all you can do. It sounds so cheesy, but it's true. Even in the face of losing everything, some happiness can still be found in following this principle.

Am I a crazy nut, or what? Completely lost his mind.

Hey, did anybody out there see Buffy tonight? Spike at the cross. That was pretty whacked out way to end an episode.

Man... I'm just jumping all over the board as far as topics go here, aren't I? Focus, focus, focus.

I guess I really don't have a whole lot of cohesive things to say right now. Kind of in a shell shock. Failing to understand the world.

I feel like I need to say something else, but I'm not clear on what that would be. Don't have words.

Oh yeah, and as far as my revised splash screen goes... I'm sure anyone in the Denver area who's listened to much of 102.1X lately will recognize it. I love that song. Don't even know who the artist is, but they always play it. It's been getting under my skin ever since August. It only has one lyric, but uttered so powerfully with the music, that you can't help but be affected. I crank the volume way up in the car whenever it comes on.

Anyway... this rambling has outlasted its creative capacity. But that doesn't mean there won't be other content to be created before this is all over. Stay tuned. We'll still be up for a few weeks...