Wow... I have been learning today. I had been trying to figure this movie out since the credits first ran. Now I know, because I have sat and watched it again, shaking like a recovering crack addict on my couch while I reigned over my gothic theater on the third floor.

Credits over now. Time to play classical music before the next film runs.

Now, as I wait, the last track to the last Fantasia 2000 runs. Anyone still feel like crucifying Disney for what they have done to copyright law?

Anyway, this thinly veiled crack porn hit, where all the characters learn to trust, love, forget grievances, enjoy life, be with one another, only to be forgotten again, betrayed again, forget their own memories (it happens about every 5 seconds), buy into delusions, submit to mind control games, and return, only to find themselves lost again.....

But all through the movie, there is one who never betrays anybody. She allows herself to be taken, had, innocence lost, given away, memories forgotten, and then she just gives her self away again, despite it all. SHE never loses her memory. She only pretends to, so the others can bear witness to their own pain. But they never will. They are asleep. So in the end, before killing them (by giving away the one soul she has kept to pay for the loss of all their guilty memories), she looks them all in the eye, except for the Cowboy. He is beyond reproach, because this supernatural being operates with her on her level.

Watch her eyes as she allows herself to be sucked for the one last time on that dark patio above the city. She is looking at them, not because she needs sympathy for herself, but because she remembers. She is trying to find something in the eyes of one of them that could allow her to forgive them. She is the Death Angel. But she has not found a single palettable soul worth saving.

Somehow, though, I always found myself liking the brunette better. She was dark. She couldn't trust anyone through the whole entire thing. She wanted to, but the moment she was about to feel she had found intimacy forever, the blond left her side for just a moment. Watch it again, folks. She gets extremely, extremely primally scared in that moment.

Then, she decides to take a risk. She opens the mystery box, which resets everybodys memory. It changes their character, the position of their bodies, etc etc etc. [classical music over.]

But in the end, she is the one who loses her own memory the most. She loses it enough to lose her cynicism. To trust someone again. Or try. But she is so fragile, she can't bear to think of herself as alone, for even one moment. So the mystery box opens AGAIN. And she loses it all to become hard.

Call me a nut. Call me a crack addict. Call me a porn freak. Call me a lonely little fool who sits up in his apartment all day because none of the friends he tried to invite to his party will visit him, because they are to busy taking care of themselves on the weekend, just as they ought to be doing.

So, I admit I am lonely. That's why I will be taking a risk to go out to an old favorite club tonight. But first, another movie to catch.

People are turning nice again. I see them gathering outside my building, forming friendships on the sidewark, or something. I'm gonna try to do a little of that at my club. If there's no one there I have seen there before, I'll just turn around and walk out, so I can get some sleep before work tomorrow.

If there are people there who I recognize, and who recognize me, I will know I have come to the right place, then maybe I should stay awhile. But not too long. I need to work in the morning too.

I will leave my cell phone behind when I leave tonight.

But first, another movie to catch. I'm 3 minutes late. Let's get cracking. Next:

Bound.