In a church? Somewhere? Or not? Was the carpet red? The ceiling white? A podium... or something?

I needed to get back to the pet store, but why? Did I have a pet? A cat? A dog? My apartment contract didn't allow pets (at least not unless I paid a bunch more on the security deposit, and even then the size would be limited). Why was I in the pet store buying pet food for a pet I didn't have? I had fallen asleep there. I needed to get back.

Why did I need to get back to the pet store? Because that was where I had fallen asleep. So what was I doing here in this... place?

Ahah! "I must be dreaming!" Eureka.

That would explain it. Now, if only I could get back to the pet store, I could wake up and it would all make sense again. Then I would know why I was there. Maybe I had gotten a pet and forgotten about it? Or maybe I lived somewhere else now that allowed pets. That would make sense.

"But wait a second," I thought. "If I'm in the middle of a dream, that means I have just achieved the hallowed state of lucidity. Maybe I don't want to go back right away. Maybe I should try some things while I'm here. The pet store can wait until later. But what?"

[Context flash. It's called a changeover, and nobody in the audience has any idea....]

I was walking through the pet food store. Up the isle.

"Wait a minute! I need to reorient. Where am I? Of course! The pet supply store! That must mean I woke up, because I'm here now. It makes perfect sense!"

But.... Wait a second. How can I be so sure? Maybe my sleeping body is in the next isle over, and I haven't yet quite returned to it. So maybe I AM still dreaming. Or...

I shuttered for a moment as the thought slowly occurred that one of my base assumptions could be totally fallacious.

"Maybe I'm not asleep in the pet store at all. Maybe my real body is somewhere else. Or maybe I'm awake and never knew it."

Without performing any of the standard tests, I somehow intuitively realized again that this must still be a dream. It just had to be.

"So, I'm dreaming, and right now I'm in a pet store. Let's just try something and find out what happens."

I noticed the glass door to the rear emergency exit in front of me, with white lettering painted over it. I decided to try to see if I could walk right through the door without opening it. So I proceeded.

Sure enough, with a few steps, I was outdoors without the door having budged. The white lettering in front of my eyes got closer and closer until, as I passed it, it faded out into transparency and disappeared. Cool!

Now let's try one of the classic tricks. Flying! I gradually rose into the air, and floated through the green awning above. Up 20 meters into the air, I looked back down at the pet store below. Blue, sunny sky above, pet store gradually shrinking below. Excellent. Total freedom. This is what lucid dreaming is all about.

I absently wondered where my sleeping body might be. What time was it back in reality? What day? Must be night, huh, since I am sleeping? [Bad assumption.] Oh well. No matter. Here I am in this wonderful lucid dream, so let's just make the best of it while it lasts. And hope it lasts as long as possible.

[Context switch.]

Floating somewhere up in space. Vaguely reminiscent of the moon colony in 2001.

I know where the real me is! It's Saturday morning, sometime around noon, and I'm sleeping in my apartment. But please don't make me go back yet! No, I like it here. Let's stay longer if I can.

Am I asleep yet? I opened my eyes again. No, not asleep. Have to let go first.

"Want to eat soup?" What was my dad doing in my room? I live by myself now. Did he come into my apartment without me knowing it? He's never done that before. Not without knocking or calling first.

"Ben, wake up! You want to eat?"

This couldn't be real. It had to be a dream. My dad wasn't there. Otherwise, he could really wake me up, and in a fully awakened state, I would be able to move my muscles. But I couldn't. I couldn't even talk or respond.

[Context switch complete.]

I was driving. I think I was southbound on US-287, but can't be sure of that. Not sure where I was going.

Uh oh. There went my turn. I needed to go left back at that stop light. Missed it. Time to do a U.

Since there would be no opportunity to turn around for a long time to come, I went ahead decided to do a U in the middle of the double-double yellow. Technically illegal, but I needed to get back there.

I flashed my left signal, and waited for the oncoming cars to pass.

As soon as all the cars went by, just as I was about to get going with my U-turn, a pedestrian was walking along the middle of the road, right where I needed to turn. What was he doing THERE? I needed to get going. I almost thought of running him over, but... you know... what would be illegal. And hurt people. Bad stuff would happen. But what a son of a bitch.

I angrily veered around him as I made my turn, missing him, but definitely giving a warning to let him know he was NOT welcome on this road.

Uh oh. Just as I was half completed with my U-Turn, I realized that my veering around the pedestrian had put me at an angle which made it impossible to complete the turn without going off the road. Since I was already halfway through my turn, I didn't have much choice. Back up, crank the wheel, and get turned around the only way I could.

But a car was coming. I was in the way. I backed up to get out of the lane she would be coming in. Farther. A little farther. Not too much farther, or my car would end up in the ditch.

[Note: The geometry doesn't make sense to me now either. But I assure you, it made perfect sense at the time.]

I backed up just a little more. My rear wheels started to slide over the bank. But I had made room for the other car to get by.

Uh oh. My car was going backwards. I was going to take a fall down the mountain. A steep cliff.

"Wait a second. Timeout. Just moments ago, I was on the flatland. Now, my car is going over a cliff?"

Then, in an instant, I realized what was happening. I was dreaming. I had crossed over, and not even known it.

I let the car fall over the cliff. Didn't even try to stop it. The driver of the other car seemed horrified that mine was falling down the mountain.

I calmly floated my non-corporeal body out of my car, and watched it fall down Flagstaff Mountain. It bounced off the rocks, trees, and continued falling, hitting the ground, coasting for a while, then going midair off another cliff.

I thought, "Shouldn't I be at least a little worried? Yes, it's probably a dream, but on the small chance that it isn't, that is my car being destroyed! And I'm not doing a thing to stop it. I'm actually finding the whole destructive sight rather entertaining."

Nope. Had to be a dream. I wasn't injured at all, and I was floating in midair outside my car. A dream for sure.

"Goodbye Tobias!"

I continued to follow the crumbling car in its descent down the mountain. Finally, it came to rest with a crunch between a bunch of trees on top of a flat rock. I looked at it, and then continued floating the rest of the way down the mountain.

[Context switch.]

I found myself under the water. 10 meters below the surface of some ocean, in a pool beneath the rocks. I concluded right off the bat that I must still be in a dream. Otherwise, how could I be breathing so easily under the water with no gear? I looked for bubbles coming out of my mouth or nose, and saw none. But I could take deep breaths, and then exhale them. Cool! I must have fish lungs (or gills).

Then I noticed there was another person sitting in the water. I tried talking to him, and he spoke back. Interesting. Sound carried mostly normally here, although it did sound a little like the audio was being echoed through a tin can.

I asked this little character, who must have been about 12 years old, if he had ever seen Waking Life. He replied that he had. Hmmm.... Interesting.

I asked him if he had the DVD. He said that he, too, had purchased it, but he couldn't remember any of it.

I then asked him a final question. "What does it feel like to achieve self-awareness? What do you do when you finally understand that you are nothing more than a character in somebody else's dream? How is it for you to experience that? You must be experiencing it right now, because I know you are."

He looked at me blankly, as if he couldn't understand the question. I thought he would get it, since he had also seen the movie. Or maybe he understood, but just couldn't answer. How could anyone ever answer such a question? I started floating up and away.

Did he find true self-awareness in that moment?

[Context switch]

Furry. Soft. Gentle. Artifically so. Like a stuffed animal, the ones I had as a kid, except even more. I loved feeling the fur against my face. I knew at this moment that all 5 senses can be experienced while in a dream.

[Context switch]

I was floating through the desolation of space. Empty space. Was there a ship somewhere? If so, it too was lonely and empty. This was Kubrick's vision. I could identify it clearly. But all the more viscerally now. We were on our way to Europa. (Or would it be Titan, like in the book?) I could almost hear the lack of hollow music playing somewhere in the distance.

Nothing. No ground. No objects nearby. No real perception of distance, except the billions of stars that were seemingly infinitely far away. I was alone in this universe. Still dreaming? Yes, but it felt awfully like I was there. Nowhere. No visible reference points of any kind.

Just me. A random object, carried on by inertia, flying aimlessly through this endlessly, unspeakably desolate emptyness. I hated it. I wanted to wake up. Space ain't like Star Trek. It's lonely. Terribly lonely. I wanted this consciousness to end. But suicide out here was impossible.

[Context switch.]

Awake again. Thank goodness.

I walked out of the bedroom. The house was full of people. I knew them all. They were my friends, relatives, people I had known all my life. This was safe. I was happy here. Something delicious was cooking in the oven. Were there Christmas decorations up? There might have been. The atmosphere was definitely festive.

I saw my best friend. We had known each other since childhood. I trusted him implicitly. I pulled him aside from the party to tell him about the really wierd dream I just had.

Just as we were walknig down the stairs, away from the noise of the rest of the people, it hit me like a 1000 pound brick.

"This isn't real! I'm still dreaming!" I'm not sure how I knew, because I hadn't even bothered to perform any of the standard awakeness self-check tests. I just knew. The dream wasn't over.

At that point, I nearly broke down into tears. "Where is my life?!?" All of these people I had known since childhood. None of them were real. They couldn't be real, because I couldn't even find any memories of anything I had ever done with them. They were a fabrication of my mind.

I told my best friend that I was still in a dream. That he wasn't real, even though he was my best friend in the world. He listened patiently, consolingly, not passing any judgement over the words -- the indictments -- coming out of my mouth. He understood that what I was saying was true.

I couldn't take it anymore. I was losing it. I wanted out. PLEASE, either let this fragmented dream end, or let me die. One or the other. The agony of discontinuity was too much for my mind to handle. My emotions were falling apart at the realization that everything I thought I knew was nothing.

Then I remembered where my forgotten self was. Would it be late Saturday morning back home? I had lazily fallen asleep under the mildly sedative effects of the bagel I had eaten for breakfast. I would return there soon.

I grabbed the hand of my best friend, hoping he wouldn't let me slip away, but know that I would anyway, and that deep down, I really wanted to. I broke into tears over the loss of nothing. The moment froze.