My ears totally feel like they've been plugged up with wads of cotton, but they aren't. I suspect the ringing will continue through the night.

Tonight, when I entered Club Onyx, as I was pulling out my id to show the guy at the door, he said, "Hi Ben."

Wait, that was before I showed him my id which had my name on it, wasn't it? I looked at his face a little closer, and paused a moment, studying. Was this who I thought it was? "Is your name [censored]?"

He replied totally casually, as if stating the obvious, "Yeah. We knew each other in high school."

No kiddin. This was a guy who, when we used to go to class, could probably out-Waking Life the people in Waking Life. (If that makes any sense.) I wouldn't say I knew him well, or even have considered him a friend, but we definitely had a few classes together.

Ain't this little world grand?

He observed that I had been to the clup a couple times before. (I had actually only been there once prior to tonight, but I must have made more of an impression than I realized, since he recalled seeing me in the club "several times".)

Well anyway, that was amusing, if slightly awkward.

It is amazing how quickly the hours can go by in a place with music, dance, and a little alcohol. I noticed that several of the people I had seen the first time were back again tonight as well. Regulars. The crowd was much larger, undoubtedly due to it being a Friday night, versus the Sunday of my first visit.

Though the dance was fun, and the music was a jam (am I starting to channel the legendary Wesley Willis?)... and the crowd roared like a lion. Um... not. The crowd crouched like a tiger, and hid like a dragon. (Yes, I'm intoxicated right now. Bad jokes that nobody else in the world gets because they aren't funny are mandatory.)

Though all of this was happening, I could not forget my "mission", as it were. Meet members of the opposite sex, talk to them, and "bask in their company." (Sure, that's it.) The mission that threatened to make me miserable, despite everything else.

The closer I get, the more I am forced to confront the barriers within, which are far greater obstacles than anything in the external world. A thick, tightly wound ball of black fear, residing somewhere deep in my psyche. Conquering it feels about as easy as busting through a cement wall with bare fists. It shouldn't be that way. It makes no logical sense. But that's how it seems.

My overly fragile ego slightly bruised after 2 girls I tried to dance up next to gave me the cold shoulder, I retreated to the edge of the floor. contemplating whether it would be worthwhile to continue this idiotic exercise, or admit that at this point in the evening, I wasn't really having fun anymore, and head home.

There was some woman standing in a black dress next to me. She seemed friendly enough. I wanted to say "hi" or something stupid, but... just... couldn't. Why? That nasty ball of fear again. It shouldn't be so powerful. What's to be afraid of, really? But it's there, and cannot be ignored.

After a couple minutes, she walked away. I continued to stand around like an idiot.

A song ends. Another chick walks to the edge of the floor to take a break, stands next to me for a minute. I hadn't really danced with her, but I had seen her out there. (black fishnet + bra == good. Nothing further, your honor.)

After a few moments, she asked if I knew what time it was. (By "asked", I mean, she leaned an inch away from my ear, and shouted a couple of simple, barely comprehensible words at the top of her lungs -- the only possible way to conduct verbal communication in such an environment.) I pulled out my cell phone, and poked a couple buttons, and showed her the readout. It was after 1:00.

Somehow, this trivial exchanged managed to break that nasty, impossible ice. A moment passed, and I said something stupid like, "Great club, isn't it?" (Again, the requisite leading and shouting.)

This profound conversation continued for several minutes in similar fashion, during which I learned that she is a regular, comes almost every weekend (loves it, of course), and knows a bunch of the other people who are also regulars. She said it is a unique community in that a lot of the people sort of "know" each other, but don't talk a lot. A quiet bunch. (No wonder I feel sort of at home there, despite being surrounded by strangers.)

I gave her my name, got hers, we shook hands. Cool. Having made an acquaintance with someone else who hangs out there regularly, my spirits were boosted. Now I know another regular, who I can say "Hi" to if we bump into each other again, and get introduced to other members of the community. A small step, but a significant milestone. Did she know how cool that was for me? (Having talked to her a bit, I don't even know that I would even want to enter into a "relationship" with this woman, though I wouldn't rule it out. Just having been befriended is a good thing.)

Thoughout our conversation, a totally hardcore pounding cover of Real Life's Send me an Angel played.

Having met, we went our separate ways on the dance floor. Reinvigorated, I danced my ass off carefree for the rest of the evening. A sea of attractive, beautiful people, and I was in the middle of them. It didn't matter if they were all strangers. It was just fun to be dancing amongst them. (Hell, even a few of the guys were hot enough that the 1% of me with bisexual tendancies could have been turned on. And the girls? Too many, too hot to quantify.)

Yes, I'll be returning to that club, thank you. I might even go back as soon as tomorrow. There's going to be an all-day "Dark Arts Festival", featuring a bunch of live bands, DJs, a "fashion show" (do I even want to know?). Starting late morning, and lasting late into the night. $10 gets you in. The DJs were encouring people to "get over your hangovers quick" to return for the fun. It sounds just tempting enough that I might go.

"Dark Arts Festival." Sheeit. My mom and brother always used to tease me, saying that I was into everything that was "Goth". (They especially liked to compare my tv shows and literature, saying that I was like the people on SNL's "Goth Talk".) And now... What can I even say?

I'm going to go to the Dark Arts Festival tomorrow, to congregate with the anointed Children of Satan. lol.

If I'm gonna be doing this stuff regularly, I gotta get some better garb. What I have is passable, but I totally admire some of the stuff I saw other people out there wearing. I wanna enhance my style a bit, reflecting my personality. Yeah.

All in good time. All in good time. Now, I shall sleep, for my brain needs it.