Note: I am breaking a long-standing movielog policy tradition typing up this entry. The viewing was not presented in the film's original aspect ratio. The sides were cropped off using a technique from hell commonly known as "pan-and-scan". Why do I break policy this now? Basically, I figure it would be pretty silly to type all this up in a rambling, when it really belongs in a movielog entry. Since the cinematography was butchered to the point that the mutilation of the shot composition was obnoxiously obvious in several sections, I'm scoring it appropriately on the viewing conditions rating. I also can't accurately rate the cinematography, although I suspect it was pretty darn good.

The thought of this movie did not appeal to me. Conjoined twins? Yuck.

But tonight, out of habitually idle impulse, I found myself scanning at the evening schedule for IFC on my handy-dandy cable box. Saw the film title, looked it up on imdb, and saw lots of glowing recommendations. Checked movielens, since it has been developing an uncanny knack for predicting what films I will like before I rate them (unlike the netflix engine, which seems to think "viewers like me" give just about everything the same mushy rating of around 3.5 out of 5, and still can't recommend more than a half dozen films even after I rated over 150). Movielens, however, predicted I would give this film 5 (of 5) stars. Hmmmm...

I flipped away from the season 4 Buffy rerun, which I had already seen again not too long ago, and decided to check it out. The opening credits revealed that it would be pan and scan. A minus. I decided to watch for 10 minutes, and if sucked or turned me off, I would abort.

Within 5 minutes, I was glued. Rather than make some lame attempt to summarize the story while delicately treading the line of not giving out too many spoilers, or raving about the acting and whatnot, I will describe those 5 minutes. The category ratings can speak for themselves regarding much I liked various aspects of the film.

...

Two women ride in the back of a taxi cab, one staring blankly out the window, while the other drills her, reading questions that sound like a personality test. "If you are in a garden that has red and white roses, and you could pick 20, how many red and how many white ones would you take?" [All dialog paraphrased as best as I remember it.]

A momont of pause. "20 red, no white."

The car slows and comes to a stop. After a little discussion about the housing situation and paying the landlord ("If all else fails, you can always come crash at my place"), the brunette, Penny, gets change from the taxi driver. She stares at it for a moment before getting out of the car. A $2 bill.

She enters the building and gets on the elevator. An old man sits aboard the rickety thing. An elevator operator.

She looks around awkwardly. "7th floor."

"60 years working, and I still haven't gotten any better at guessing which floor."

The elevator stops a little bit short of being level with the floor. "This is as close as it gets." He opens the metal cage door to let her out.

Cautiously, she walks down the eerie hall, looking at the doors. The elevator man hasn't left yet. "Which one is 703?" [I'm not positive about that number.]

"What does the door look like?"

"How should I know? All the doors look the same. All brown."

"It's the next one."

With the elevator leaving, she knocks on it. A voice from inside invites her in.

She walks in and peeks around. "Hello? Francis?" Nobody is in the room.

A door opens adjar at the side of the room, to reveal a man's face. "Hello. Have a seat." The door closes.

She nervously sits down on the bed. "Are you alright in there?"

From behind the door, the man answers. "Yes. I... just need a minute."

By her makeup and attire, one might have speculated early on that this woman is employed in the world's oldest profession. She starts to relax, as he opens the door behind her and begins to comes out. "You seem like a pretty normal person. Maybe the only normal one in this building. You know, this place is full of freaks!"

As she looks in the mirror to adjust her makeup, the reflection of his face his appears in the chrome. She stops, turns around, and falls silent.

Atop an extra wide set of shoulders, two heads watch her. The body is nearly the width of 2 men, standing on 3 legs. The heads look at her, then back at each other, and whisper inaudibly. One of them speaks. "Would you like a glass of water?"

"Um, yes. I could use that." They leave momentarily to fill a cup. When they return, the only thing left in the room is a purse.

...

I could go on, but I've already butchered enough of the first few scenes.

This movie is quality stuff. I might have to watch the dvd, seeing that it preserves the original width of the picture. (Hey IFC, the widescreen is available on DVD. Why couldn't you show that?) Definitely an unexpected surprise though.