I know what all the loyal content vultures have been waiting for. (At least I can theorize that I do.) Today is Jaunary 1st, 2002. The day when I draft the mighty and momentous set of resolutions which supposably serve to direct and improve selected areas of my life over the course of the next 12 months. Well guess what? It's 22:42 localtime, and the day of January 1 is nearly over.

Over the past few days, I have been inflicted with a serious motivation deficit. I have done absolutely nothing productive. Whatsoever. In any way.

I have barely set foot out of my apartment, save to visit with family members on New Year's Eve. I have not cleaned anything. The entire place is a freakin mess. The food supply is running on empty. I haven't programmed. I've barely written any content at all. I would guess I've probably been sleeping around 12 hours per day, although I haven't been keeping exact records. Beyond that, I have nothing to show for the waking hours at all.

My routine, such as it has been, has consisted of waking up at any given hour during the day or night (usually day; surprisingly, I haven't gone very nocturnal during this vacation). I read a little slashdot. Turn on the tv. See if there's anything on. Watch for a while, even if there isn't anything on. Play some gamecube. Play some kohan (I've been getting back into that too). Take a shower. Or don't. Eat a bagel. Eat some chips. Watch a movie. Go to sleep. Rinse and repeat.

"Hello children! My name is Matt Foley, and I am a motivational speaker, and I live in a van down by the river! Now you, Bitscape. You better get off your ass and DO something with your life, or in 10 years, you'll be living in a van down by the river!"

Chris Farley, bless his poor departed soul.

A fucking van. Down by the river.

lol.

According to the ticket stub randomly sitting on my desk, I saw Waking Life on December 8, 2001. Most amusing. They gave me a student ticket, without even asking. At the ticket counter, I simply said, "1 for Waking Life." Nothing more, nor did I attempt to show id or anything. Apparently, the clerk assumed I was a student, and gave me a ticket at discount price. I wasn't going to argue with that. lol. God, I love Boulder.

[Bitscape goes to the kitchen, eats a couple of chips.]

I cooked up the most delicious kettle of chip dip on Sunday. Simple as hell, but very yummy. Dump a can of refried beans into a kettle. Add a bit of water to soften them up. Put in around a half jar of salsa. Throw in a nice big pile of grated cheese, mix it all together, and heat it nice and warm. Sprinkle garlic power, onion powder, a bit of salt, and whatever other seasonings sound good. Then just leave the burner on warm for the evening, and dip a chip or two whenever a commercial comes on. Guaranteed to increase your intake of saturated fat! Yum.

I watched the Buffy pilot on FX this evening. Back when SMG looked really, really young. Like a kid. I guess it really wasn't that long ago, but... 6 years does make a difference. Willow, Xander, and Cordelia looked a bit different too, but especially the Buffster. Anyway...

New Year's Resolutions. I feel a bit silly to be making these, given that some of them involve spending time on certain things on a daily, or semi-daily basis. Over the past 1.5 weeks, I've arguably had much more free time on my hands than I will in the coming months, yet I have done nothing during the vacation in pursuit of given areas. That leads me to question just how serious I really am. How truthful are there resolutions in reflecting the directions I want my life to take?

We'll see. I believe the resolutions I've got in mind (and about to be transcribed) are realistic and do-able. They will require effort. If necessary, some of them may need to be modified and/or updated as conditions change, or as I learn things that didn't occur to me now. What I DON'T want to have happen is for them to turn into a straightjacket that I hate. I don't want to find myself carrying on only because I made a "resolution" that I feel obligated to do simply because it was a resolution, having lost sight of the original purpose.

At the same time, I don't want to be backing out simply because I get cold feet or become lazy a month or 2 down the road. I've got to be able to trust myself.

Anyway... Here goes. Another of life's odd little experiments.

• Goal:
  Get out of debt.

  Reason:
  Debt is a burden. I want to be free of it. Less debt = less dependence on "the system".

  Span:
  Year-long.

  What I can do to achieve it:
  Make regular monthly payments on my debts such that they will all be paid off by year's end. Preferably sooner.

  Possible pitfalls:
  If my employment situation changes, that could obviously have an impact. Also, if I spend too much money on gadgets, entertainment, eating out, and other fun stuff, that could be an obstacle.

  Other comments:
  I should mention that in the unlikely event that I buy a house (and take out a mortgage) before year's end, paying that off is not something that would likely be done by the end of the year. However, I do not consider taking out a mortgage for a house to be against the spirit of this resolution, because in the long term, it would actually further the "reason" stated above (by building equity, and not having to pay rent, I would be increasing my financial freedom). I doubt that this will happen before the year ends though.

• Goal:
  Exercise regularly.

  Reason:
  I'd like to become more physically fit. I want more stamina. In the past, when I have exercised, I have felt physically better overall. I want to improve my appearance (i.e. decrease the waistline). I want to be able to do a "Worst Scifi" scene without getting totally out of breath on the first take.

  Span:
  Weekly.

  What I can do to achieve it:
  My aim is to spend 20 minutes exercising at least 3 times a week. Right now, I have jogging in mind, but I won't limit it to that. Ideally, I would like to alternate days. Historically, the most likely time for it to happen is immediately after work on weekdays. On weekends... whenever. So, I'll endeavor to make that into a routine again. Every other day (roughly), when I get off work, I'll go jogging. If the weather sucks, hit the gym, since I've got one a few meters away. It wouldn't hurt for me to use it. :)

  Possible pitfalls:
  The only real obstacle here is my own laziness. Everything else is an excuse.

  Other comments:
  Doing this for a long term is tough. I know from experience. It might help to give myself some sort of reward on each night / week after I exercise. Maybe resume my long lost regular Friday night visits to the theater on weeks when I do my exercises? (OTOH, maybe that's not the best idea, since the reason my regular theater visits became less and less regular was because less movies sounded appealing. Or... I've got it! Maybe a trip to one of those Landmark Mayan / Esquire theaters down in Denver on each successful week. There's a thought!)

• Goal:
  Read more books

  Reason:
  (quoting myself from the Content Collective...) I love books when I get into them. But in almost every case, it's much easier (at least initially) to flip on the tv, delve into endless slashdot threads, and watch movies than it is to open a book. Therefore, conscious effort, and perhaps a minimum weekly quota (to be determined), is required.

  Span:
  Nightly.

  What I can do to achieve it:
  The best time to read is invariably right before bed. If I could just turn off the tv, gamecube, and get away from the computer terminal a little earlier each evening, before I become so dead tired that my brain involuntarily shuts off, I could spend a few minutes reading. I'd like to go for at least 30 minutes each evening. Reading anything. Fiction. Non-fiction. Computers. History. Philosophy. Whatever. As long as it's dead tree BOOKS. Although I've got plenty on hand, it might also be a good idea to find out if this town has a local library. I bet it does. I just need to seek it out.

  Possible pitfalls:
  My time getting swallowed by other things. My brain's initial resistance to concertration.

  Other comments:
  Summary: Read before bed. Maybe work out some kind of reward system there too, although I'm not sure exactly what.

• Goal:
  Become more socially involved

  Reason:
  (again, from the collective...) I want to make new friends. There are not very many people in the world who I consider "friends" that I have maintainted contact with in recent times, and of those, most of them reside in other states. I'd like to get to know more people in the local area who share my interests.

  Span:
  Indefinite

  What I can do to achieve it:
  Get out and meet people, I guess. Take another class or two. Seek out community activities, and participate in them. Play it by ear.

  Possible pitfalls:
  My naturally reclusive tendencies. Backing out due to uncertainty and fear whenever an opportunity presents itself.

  Other comments:
  Of all the resolutions this year, this one is the most vague. I don't see any way around that right now. So be it.

Those are the resolutions for this year. It is now past midnight. January 2. Another day, another year.

Peace.