"Scully, open your eyes. Don't you see? It wasn't Arab terrorists who boarded those airplanes and crashed them into the World Trade Center. That was all a setup. Those flight manuals, the supposed 'passengers' who hijacked the planes. A ruse, to fool you and the American people into thinking this was an attack by some disgruntled nut from Afghanistan. Look beyond it!"

"So just who do you think is behind this, Mulder? You believe this is part of another plot by that cigarette smoking friend of yours and his shady cohorts? Not even they are crazy enough to try pulling off such a stunt."

"No, Scully. This is bigger than them. Much bigger. Bigger than the Middle East. Bigger than this entire planet." Mulder's gaze slowly drifted upwards, wandering into the distant sky above.

The exasperation in Scully's face boiled to a new all-time high bursting. "Aliens! You think this entire catastrophe was brought about by aliens?!?!? Mulder, you've gone off the deep end before, but this time, you just sicken me." Scully turned, and started to walk away briskly.

"Scully, look at the evidence!" Still shaking her head, Scully continued to walk vigorously, Mulder following. "Scully, will you just listen! Ever since last summer, Mountain Dew bottling plants all across the country have been having their stock depleted, with no apparent explanation. I had these records subpoenaed from the Johnson City, Tennessee plant. Look. In July, they tripled production, with no explanation as to why the sudden surge in demand."

Scully, perplexed again, stopped. "So what? All that means is that the geeks have been up and writing code during the summer months. Good for them. What the hell would that have to do with the attack on the Pentagon and World Trade Center anyway?"

"Don't you see, Scully? The aliens have been drinking the Mountain Dew. That's how they get their energy. They've been consuming large amounts because they needed the extra boost for the coming invasion. But that was only the first wave. There's going to be more attacks if we don't stop them, and the only way we can do that is to cut off their energy supply. We've got to get this information to Washington.

"We need to alert the president that the only way to stop further attacks from happening is to post armed guards at every outlet where Mountain Dew is sold, and have law enforcement keep detailed records about who buys how much. It's a small price to pay for freedom. You and I both know that it's the only way, Scully."

"Mulder, I only know one thing, and that is that you sound like a goddamn crazy man." Scully sighed. "But, knowing you, you're probably not going to give this up for anything. So let's go to the president, and he can see for himself what a complete lunatic you are."

"I'm sure our president will listen to reason, once it's presented to him with irrefutable facts," said Mulder, with a grin on his face as he tapped the stack of papers.

Scully, rolling her eyes, opened the car door. "Somehow, I have a feeling that the geeks of this nation will never forgive the United States government for this obtrusive violation of their sacrosanct civil liberties. Let the War on Mountain Dew begin."

[fade out]