• Athlon 750 w/ 128 megs ram, Matrox G400, etc etc etc: $1000+.
• DSL broadband connection: $60
• Mozilla web browser: The time it takes to download on aforementioned connection.
• Seeing yet another idiot lawyer at work: priceless.

There are some things money can't buy. For everything else there's Visa.

Hello world.

Fuck you.

For some reason, I've been having the urge to type "fuck you" on this web page a lot lately. In fact, I haven't had much else in the way of ideas to write, so I've more or less abstained from the web content thing almost altogether for a few days. Tonight, I decided to indulge myself.

Fuck you.

Nothing personal, of course. Unless you want to take it personally. In which case, similarly intellectual replies are welcome.

bitscape.festing.org

Replace the first dot with an at, and you've got my email address. But I'm sure everybody already knew that, didn't you?

Fuck you.

That's right, this is MY web page, where I write (or don't write) what I want to write, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. So...

Fuck you.

I have HAD IT with playing the "nice guy". I care for no one, I love nothing, and for all I care, this entire world could suffer a nuclear meltdown, and my state of happiness would be no better or worse than it is right now. So fuck it all, and while we're at it...

Fuck you too.

If you're just joining us, this is slightly atypical for a Bitscape's Random Rambling. I usually project a very "calm" and "balanced" view of things. (Or do I?) Tonight, not so. Right now, I am saying, "Enough of the bullshit! Free! Free! Free! I will be free of it, if only for these few seconds. There will be NO pandering to this so-called 'sanity'."

I contemplate how much... Oops, I forgot.

Fuck you.

I contemplate whether I want to talk about anything else of substance right now. Um...

Nope, I guess not. So, in the absence of anything better to say....

FUCK YOU.

Maybe not an original thought, but there it is.

There it is.

...

My spirit is in the process of dying. Suffocating, actually. It is not anything anybody can see. (Except people who read this web page, and even for them, unlikely.) There is not anything anybody can do. Only me. But I'm not sure what that "thing" is yet. I have vague ideas here and there, but nothing concrete.

The direction my life is currently heading is a train wreck. It's becoming more evident with each passing day. Earlier, it was "Ho hum, what a dull day today." Now, it's more like, "I have GOT to do something, and soon!"

My therapist last week gave me a homework assignment. I'm finding it rather difficult. Make that excruciating. Maybe it's because I'm a perfectionist. But maybe that's the dig, isn't it? I sit around doing nothing, because the plans aren't 100% perfect, and they never will be. So my life ends up going nowhere. But there's more to it than that. I know there is.

Watched Buffy and Angel tonight. The episodes were reruns, but I hadn't seen them, so I was thoroughly entertained. Having cut the tv addiction (almost) completely over the past few weeks and months (without really even trying to), I now feel this wierd sensation come over me when I watch.

When the ads come on, I'm not used to any of them since I haven't seen them. So I actively notice everything. Under such conditions, one really does become aware of the massive propaganda blitz rolling over one's consciousness. On the one hand, it's insulting, on the other hand, numbing, and on the third... it's welcome and enjoyable in an eerie sort of way. (These effects are probably more pronounced with the particular shows I was watching, because the high level of intrigue in the content puts the brain into a certain sort of vulnerable squishy state.)

But enough about that BS. We were going to talk about MasterCard, weren't we?

Actually not.

So what's all this "fuck you" stuff about, anyway? Don't know. I've just been having the urge to type some really pissy stuff on the web. I want to jump out of my current skin, climb up to the top of a mountain, and tell the whole world to go to hell. Really.

Why?

World of the future, here I come...