Disclaimer: Yes, this rambling consists of yet another ecstatic glowing review of this week's mythology. It may or may not also contain other content. And yes, big spoilers. So beware.

This third in the three part suspense building story arc of Rheingold, Valkries, Beowulf, Odin, Grenhilda and other funness draws to a smashing conclusion on this night. Act 4 was like... bam, bam, bam! Crowd pleasers galore.

Now, the question for debate which I have not yet resolved: Which is the greater, more astounding of the two surprises? The kiss, which many believed the pointy hairs of television would never allow to happen?

Or... was it the shocking re-appearance of the long, beautiful, flowing blond hair on Gabrielle's head as she arose from her year-long slumber, having just been awakened by the aforementioned event? I swear, I thought I was hallucinating through that entire scene. A glorious moment in television history.

Okay, so at the end of last weeks episode, Xena had used the ring, and by doing so lost all her memories about who she was. (Hmmm... Where have we seen that before? Season 5, Chakram, anyone? Except this time it was done about 10 times better.) With Xena in a state of amnesia, Brenhilda took the ring, gave it to Gabrielle for safekeeping, and then used her Valkrie power to transform into an eternal flame which surrounded Gabrielle while she slept. Only Gab's true soulmate would be able to pass through the fire. "Awwww. Wasn't that sweet?"

Thus, tonight's episode starts right off with the momentous text, "One Year Later". There Gabrielle lay, the brambles growing think around and over her, obscuring her form, as she lay in the wilderness bed with fire on all sides.

Meanwhile, someone known as "Althea" is about to get hitched to some doofus second rate king in the north. (For a moment, I thought we were actually going to see the return the one who entered the dance competition and put on a fashion show long long ago on old Hercules) Beowulf happens to be at the wedding, and discovers to his shock what when he sees "Althea", it's really Xena!

[I can't believe I'm actually summarizing the damn thing. I usually do nothing more than rant and rave and make cryptic notes.]

Amnesiac Xena seems none too thrilled about the whole getting married thing, but not having a clue who she is, she coasts through it anyway, almost by default. lol. Then she starts getting little flashes of memory. Of fighting. Of Gabrielle.

Beowulf knows the truth, of course. He tries to pull Xena aside at the first opportunity, but she doesn't recognize him one bit. Well, the king's sister, who isn't a bit happy about the wedding either, uses circumstancial evidence to convince the king that "Althea" and Beowulf are having relations, and that gets them both sent to the dungeon. Naturally, they escape. (Xena's fighting skills resurface bit by bit each time she ends up in an emergercy.)

As Xena and Beowulf travel by boat to the land where Gabrielle rests, more and more images flash into Xena's head. Odin learns of Xena's whereabouts through his raven, and sends the Valkries on a mission to nab Xena midway. (The blond bitchy leader is especially eager to do Xena in.)

The Valkries ride their magical horses through the sky to the beach where Beowulf, Xena, and the crew have landed. Xena is forced to remember how to defend herself as the blond (what's here name anyway?) gives here the fight of here life. Interestingly enough, this fight scene was far and away more interesting than most on the show IMO, simply because Xena really had to struggle to retain her ground. No superhuman feats or suspension of disbelief. She was human.

(Although she really could be half-god. Unlike with Hercules, the producers will never tell us for sure. The reason: if she is, that would imply an incestuous relationship. Big no-no. I have heard that the original script for season 3's The Furies DID end with Ares being her father for certain. Then, at the last minute, the staff thought, "Wait a sec. We might be getting a little too Taboo here." So the period was changed to a question mark.)

Ahem. Now I've wandered off from the topic and distracted myself. How very typical.

Well, before icky blond Valkrie managed to kill Xena, Odin came flying down on his horse and intervened. Seeing that Xena hadn't a clue who she was, or what she was doing, he decided to let her be. His ulterior motive (they always have an ulterior motive, don't they?) was to let her get to Gabrielle to free the Rheingold ring, and snatch it from her. With Xena's memory gone, it would be like taking candy from a baby. So he thought.

Beowulf, Xena, and crew approached the glen where the fire rose infinitely up into the sky. Beowulf urged Xena to go ahead. This was her time.

As Xena stood next to the wall of fire, we got a nice little effective but obvious bit of CGI. A face forming in the flame to examine the entrant. "The love in your heart burns hotter than any flame." Or some sappy bit along those lines.

Then came the Valkrie charge out of hiding. Seems they weren't too good at following Odin's instructions to leave Xena be until the ring was free from the flames. Bummer for them. Blond bitch got barbecued. Fighting and clanking of swords everywhere in the night. Then Grendle joined into the act, attacking Xena. Beowulf managed to save her, but paid for it by taking a sword through the back. Bummer, that. He told Xena to go ahead and get into those flames like she was meant to do, pronto. <seven>Xena complied.</seven>

Xena walked through to the other side of the wall, and all the commotion of the battle momentarily disappeared. Xena approached the alter-like monument, and brushed aside the overgrowth of vegetation. (The whole thing is so fairy tale cliché" that it would really suck if it weren't so cool. *rolls eyes* Me and my pronouncements.)

[Zoom in *tight*] Slowly Leaned down to the still, soft, resting face. Lips touched lips for one short, eternal moment. Xena lifted her head back away. Slowly, a pair of youthful eyes opened to look up into the face which had disturbed their slumber.

The bard arose, and as she did so, it became apparent that although she had slept for a year, her hair follicles had not. Deja vu!

"Must be some flashback clip from season two or three. After all, Xena's been having memories resurface throughout the episode. Maybe this is another one. It's just too good to be true."

Not so. This became especially apparent when Gabrielle stood up, and instead of BGSB, there was a Red... uhh.. I'll let others come up the snappy acronyms. But long hair! This cannot be.

But here's what I want to know. Was it all ROC's real hair? Sure looked like it. But so fast? I know it's sort of been getting longer in recent season 6 episodes. But that long? Did they film everything else earlier in the summer, wait until the last possible moment when most of the post work was done, and then shoot the final scenes to tack on at the end? Or maybe it was just a really good wig. I'm a bit baffled.

It really didn't look like a wig in the shot where she was riding on that horse with Xena through the sky while the wind was whipping about... but I'm getting a bit ahead of myself.

As Xena and Gabrielle emerged from Brenhilda's fire, the flames slowly dissipated into the starry night sky. Xena's memory was restored. Gabrielle was free again. But there was still Grendel to deal with.

Grendel fought Xena. The two battled relentlessly. In a cut which had me quite disoriented (everyone's got a budget to stick to), Grendel hurled Xena from the forest up into the air, and into the rocky cave lair, where she must have landed at least 10 meters from the mouth. As Grendel charged on her, Xena held out the ring, and said aloud that she had made Grendel into what she was. Xena needed to find a way to repair the evil she had caused. The ring began to glow. Grendel shook Xena, as Xena had stopped fighting, and was asking Grenhilda if she could ever forgive her.

Gabrielle, stood outside, probably quite dazed after having just awoken from such a nice long nap. (And the long hair like ancient times. This viewer was still trippin out on that.) What sounded like an explosion came from the cave.

Moments later, Xena emerged.

A bit later, Grenhilda. A Valkrie once again. Why am I not at all surprised? And why do I find it just as well that any potential technobabble to explain just how such a thing had occured was wisely left out of the script?

Another transformation had occurred: The ring was no longer its old form. It was a solid block of Rheingold once again.

Xena, Gab and Grenhilda paid Odin a visit, where Xena, in her trademark way, let Odin know that he had just better restore Grenhilda to her position as leader of the Valkries. "Don't think about it too long."

The final loose end: Returning the Rheingold to the Rhein Maidens. Another happy magical ride through the bluescreen sky, and a swim under the water for Xena, while Gab walked on the rocky shore. The maiden Xena had originally seduc^H^H^H^H^H made friends with in order to get the gold was initially angry to see that face again, understandably so. But when Xena held up the restored piece of gold, and handed it back, all was quickly forgiven.

The maidens asked how Xena was able to have such a change of heart, and Xena said.... I don't remember exactly what Xena said. The camera told the real story, panning back over to Gabrielle, who stood smiling on the shore. Fade to black.

You know the drill.

Executive Producers
Sam Raimi
&
Rob Tapert

Cut to commercial.

A moment in television history.

Yeah.

Blah blah blah. What an overly long rambling this has unintentionally become.

But... Gabby's hair.

The... Hair.

Um.. There's just, like...

lots of... Hair.

Did I mention that Gabrielle's hair seemes to have grown back a bit?

(Score: -1, Redundant)

Okay, well now for that other content, if any there may be.

Today I got the Collective map code into a production state. A happy thing.

Um, yeah. That was most of my day. Until almost evening. Yeah, the code was there from before, but I seem to spend so much time on the littlest tweaks and revisions. Tweak one thing here, another there. Rearrange a bit. Think about it a little, and then go back and twiddle some more. Eventually, I have to come to the point where I realize it can never be totally perfect, and just put what I have into use. In this case, I'm happy with the result.

Went to the Video Station to get a good movie to watch so I could try to wind my mind down a bit. I thought I might want to get some obscure title. No place like The Video Station for that, if you don't mind a little extra driving distance. I ended up deciding I wanted to laugh. South Park seemed like it would hit the spot, so I rented it.

It was funny, but I don't think I even laughed half as hard as I had in the theater. It wasn't that I didn't feel in a comical mood. There's just something different about the ambience. Somehow, a room full of other people laughing makes the whole thing funnier. Why, I cannot explain. But it was still good.

Okay, second night in a row to feature a long, wandering rambling. I must be making up for all the little piddly ones earlier this week. But now I need to sleep again.

This concludes tonight's spiel.