Up and pondering (alt title: pushing buttons)
Started: Wednesday, October 18, 2000 21:48
Finished: Wednesday, October 18, 2000 22:55
These are my eyes but they cannot see
These are my arms but they don't know tenderness
And I must confess that I am usually drawn to sadness
And loneliness has never been a stranger to me
But love tried to welcome me
But my soul drew back
Guilty of lust and sin
Love tried to take me in
These are my lips but they whisper sorrow
This is my voice but it's telling lies
I know how to laugh but I don't know happiness
And I must confess
Instead of spring it's always winter
And my heart has always been a lonely hunter
But still
Love tried to welcome me
But my soul drew back
I was covered with dust and sin
Love tried to take me in
Love tried to break me
And I must confess
Instead of spring it's always winter
And my heart has always been a lonely hunter
But still
Love tried to welcome me
But my soul drew back
Covered with dust and sin
Love tried to take me in
Love tried to welome me
Hmmm....
Him or Her I shall follow
...
[The white, minty substance under his tongue, Bitscape prepares to light his candle.]
Well, the topic I mentioned in the latter half of the previous rambling mere hours ago certainly wasn't lacking in reader responses. I had no idea when I posted it... Well, I guess I maybe could have guessed, but not to that degree. Religion is indeed a tricky subject. Maybe it is. I dunno. Tends to push a few buttons I guess. Not sure that's what I really intended to do, but I guess I did.
I'd like to make a brief addendum. In the previous rambling, I used the word "shit" to refer to a certain belief system. This is not a retraction, because my feelings on the matter haven't really changed. I do, however, recognize (now moreso than ever, after the email I read a bit ago) that there are people in this readership who do hold these things close to their hearts, and I could have been more tactful in addressing the subject. I suppose the reason I put it so strongly is because, like it or not, I still carry a fair degree of resentment at having had it bombarded at me throughout childhood and into early adult years. It comes out sometimes when I type here. Still, I know I wouldn't enjoy it if somebody referred to something I cherish in such a way. So there it is. Call it an apology if you want. I guess that's all I have to say on that.
Well, now I'm finally starting to wind down. It might have something to do with that nice little white tablet that I dissolved under my tongue just before starting this rambling. Lately, it seems like I'm always so alive, awake, and full of energy just when it's time to go to bed. I've even cut caffeine, but it doesn't seem to have helped. Then, in the morning, I wake up dreary as hell, wanting to run to some dark corner of the universe and sleep for a month, and that feeling remains with me through much of the morning (and even afternoon in some cases). Come night, I'm all bursting with energy and ready to roll again. Uggh.
But now... yes, the stuff is definitely having the desired effect. Very good.
# echo "down" > /dev/illumination/electric
# echo "up" > /dev/illumination/candle
# shutdown -h +15