As promised, here I am, taking a timeout from the PC building fun and excitement to comment on...

[drumroll]

The New Years Resolutions!

During the course of the past month, I have had some lengthy discussions about these with my mentor, who believes that at least some of them are fallacious, possibly unreachable, and self defeating, which may also lead to potentially self destructive behavior.

Hence, I have been strongly advised to re-word them in such a way that they are more clear, progress can be measured and sub-divided into more easily discernable steps, and everything consists of goals which lie within my grasp. (Did I get all that right, mentor? ;)

Given that I have learned from experience that it pays to put a high degree of trust in my mentor's judgement, I do not shrug such admonitions off lightly. At the same time, it takes a lot of convincing to get me to change a single word in a set of beacons I have more or less held as sacred since the beginning of the year. To use a political analogy, it's like the U.S. Constitution -- even if some parts are flawed, ya don't go in and tamper with it unless the country is absolutely certain that it's the right thing to do.

That said, my mentor's words do have merit. It was suggested that I change only the specific wording to be more clear, while leaving the overall intent in tact. Whether that can be done without losing some of the original message.... I don't know.

So, to be honest, I am still considering, despite the fact that the advice was given relatively early in the month of July. I'm not going to be rewriting anything right now, since I don't think my brain is in much better shape to be preparing carefully planned out strategies than it was when the resolutions were first written. Rather, I'll just go through them, and try to hit some of the specific points that were discussed.

Rather than do it in the same old order as always, I think I'll try something a little different by starting with the most glaring, and go from there.

• This year, I shall find a girlfriend. Well, maybe. Or at least meet a few prospectives.

  Oh gee. What a surprise that this one came first! lol.

  Thinking back to the discussion... Ok, well, the most obvious problem with this one is that the intended outcome relies on variables which are out of my control. It's a matter of chance, luck, being in the right place at the wrong time, what have you. Obviously, it also relies on the willful participation of another human being. Since the only people we control are ourselves, making resolutions -- promises to ourselves -- which require the involvement of others, who may or may not want any part of the game, is like sitting at home and cheering a football team, and then saying "We won! We won!" when in fact you had absolutely nothing to do with any of it. Or something like that.

  (See why it's not a good time to be rewriting resolutions? Brain is tired, wired, and full of BS run-on sentences.)

  Furthermore, if my mentor is to be believed (and I have NO reason to doubt in this area), the very act of being in the mode of "looking for someone" is a very strong repellent to members of the opposite gender. Something about the vibe, whether or not you're consciously aware of it, will give you away. This would make the resolution not only ineffectual, but having it also might work against its own stated goal.

  On the other side of the coin, I pointed out that while the stated intent has not been accomplished, there have been some very positive, if unexpected, side effects, which would almost certainly have not come about had I not made this resolution. This point was not disputed. I didn't think it would be. :)

  So anyway, I'm not changing anything just yet, but here's some wording my mentor proposed as a replacement. Not a bad idea at all. I'm just not willing to make a change just yet. Searching the big ole pile of archives......

  "To take the necessary steps to expand my social circle, meet new and interesting people, and see where life takes me."

  I like it. Still considering... Next.

• This year, I shall find a real job.

  Despite the fact that this one has undisputably been completed, there was some talk about whether in fact it happened because of anything I did, or a pure act of chance. I don't deny that I was lucky. I think I've said myself here that what I got was quite a lot better than anything I was expecting.

  Still, having it as a resolution is an iffy proposition, for many of the same reasons stated previously. What if no employer had been willing to hire me? (Yes, I know that asking such a question in today's tech economy sounds like some kind of joke, but bear with, and suppose the resolution had been made during a recession.) Would I be considering my progress a failure if I sent my resume, interviewed, and was turned down at a hundred different places? Many factors, such as the economy, which are totally out of my control. How then can I place it upon my own shoulders to affect this, and take credit if it is a success, or blame myself in the case of failure?

  I suppose part of the reason I made such resolutions was so that I would spot opportunity when it presented itself, and take the risk of pursuing it with all my heart once I saw. Even if something is out of my grasp, isn't reaching worthwhile?

  Well, anyway, this one's sort of moot right now. I'll leave it alone. Next.

• This year, I shall find more avenues other than the Internet to channel my self expression.

  Ok, I already started last month on making smaller, more well defined sub-tasks for this one. So, the item for July was:

  This month, I shall find and enroll myself into a class, course, or other form of community group activity which is non-computer-related.

  Well, ok. I didn't actually enroll yet, since I discovered I can't actually do that until next week. But since it's August now, I may as well go ahead and tell everyone. I'm going to sign up for (please, don't laugh too hard) an acting class in the evenings this fall in CU's Continuing Education program. We'll see how it turns out. Whatever the case, it is definitely a change for me.

  As for August... Uggh, I'm to tired to think of anything. For now, I'll just make the goal to sign up for the one I decided on in July. Kind of a cheat, but I'm too tired to worry about it.

• Be true, honest to myself.

  As I pointed out before, having friends who aren't afraid to tell you the truth even when it hurts like hell, go a long way in this regard. Being just such a friend, my mentor also pointed out that ultimately, you must learn to trust yourself, and get to the point where there's enough inner confidence and self-understanding to realize that the only person who knows you best is you. I tend to agree. Still, when you can find them, it's awesome to know people who will be honest as well.

  (In that vein, I think it would be a worthwhile goal to work on becoming more honest with others, just as I would want them to treat me. But that's for another time..)

  Next.

• This year, I shall obtain lodging of my own. The biggest one by far, but a worthy goal. This place is great, but I need to strike out on my own, make a life, gain independence. Ya know?

  Yes indeed. Although I didn't really discuss this one much with my mentor, I believe it is reachable, and can be divided into sub-tasks. However, if it's going to happen by the end of the year, I am going to need to get off my ass and start doing, rather than just thinking.

  In that vein, I'm setting a modest goal for this month: Sometime during August, I shall tour/look through at least one potential place of residence. In the physical presence. Not some Internet VR wannabe. Sound good? Good.

  Next.

• This year, I shall buy a new desktop PC.

  Rahahahahahahahahahahah! Speaking of the parts strewn out all over the living room floor... lol. :)

  Last night, I was afraid this one was going to end up in the "It's out of my control, and in the hands of some idiot postal worker" category. Fortunately, that would no longer seem to be the case.

And now, Mr. Anderson, you are presented with a choice. Either you choose to stay up for the rest of the night, building the rest of your computer, or you choose to find yourself totally wasted in the morning at your job. Have I made myself clear?

Perfectly clear. I need a glass of water.