Damn, I love this track. No lyrics. A subtle rhythm, but it's there. And just the haunting, echoing ... calm, yet still disturbed, scarred... stuff. In between the walls of noise. Trent is a genius.

So anyway, I awoke from my "nap", where I may or may not have slept. Could have just laid awake for two hours lost in thought, but if so, I don't remember what it was about about. Ok, so I do remember a little. Lips sealed on the topic though. Maybe I did sleep a little. I'm not sure.

So I get up, turn on the light, stumble over to my computer, check email. No new messages. Surf over to slashdot,

[pause]

need you
dream you
find you
taste you
fuck
you
use you
scar you
break you

curse me
hate me
smash me
erase me
kill me
kill me
kill me
kill me
kill me
kill me
kill me
[unintelligible...]

Sorry. Just got into the music for a second there. I do that every now and then. :)

So anyway, where was I? I read slashdot, for the first time since... Wednesday? I don't remember. Lots of interesting headlines, which I briefly scan. I don't actually read any articles link to, or comments. I hop over to Salon, read an article where several pundits talk about the market correction this week. Then I surf Everything, for what must have been a half hour or so. Just hitting random nodes, or anything that looks interesting.

Then I hit the pages of a few old friends, acquaintences, new friends, whatever. (Bored yet? You should be.)

I then start to become conscious of the knawing feeling that's been quietly bubbling beneath the surface for... how long? For the last hour? Five hours? Two days? A week? Two months? My whole life? Nah, not that long. Prolly (love that spelling... not.) just tonight. And on a few other occassions.

Ever feel like you've just become profoundly out of touch with everything you are/were? I don't know who or what I am anymore. Maybe it also has something to do with a line of subconscious thought triggered by the rambling I did NOT make earlier tonight.

everything is blue
everything is blue in this world
the deepest shade of mushroom blue
fuzzy
spinning

Yeah, and it could also be that I'm just a little whacked out on this particular Friday night. I thought about going to a movie tonight. When I woke up, I checked the listings. Thought about seeing American Psycho.

I'm haven't even bothered to make antimovielog entries recently, because, well, they're boring. I say pretty much the same thing pretty much every time, and after a while, it just gets dull. It's not that I believe it any less. It's just no fun to repeat the same lines again and again. So it sits.

At this point, I'm not nearly idealogically charged enough to -- start again a million miles away -- boycott the MPAA, if I hadn't made the decision to do so already. The only thing that keeps my boycott going at this point is momentum. I guess there is something to be said for that.

Also, when you know you're not going to watch any movies, you pay a lot less attention to the ads. What's the point in even retaining the information, if your brain knows it's not going to use it? The MPAA better be careful. If the tyranny continues too much longer, I might not even care enough about movies to even think about going to the theatre, even if they do loosen up on the persecutions. The habit is broken.

So anyway, I guess it's natural to feel this way at times, when the pendulum of live swings from one direction to another. And when it comes to wacky little metaphors, Shakespeare was certainly more apt at them than I. lol.

On that note, I think I'll disconnect, do some reading, maybe catch a little tv (got a tip about something that's coming on tonight which might be of interest), and see about going to sleep (again?). Works for me.