Ever get the feeling that SOME PEOPLE just write web pages whose entire purpose for existence is so that some OTHER PEOPLE might possibly get a clue? That they're written with the vague hope, that a certain SOMEONE might just read, a lightbulb will suddenly flash on, and that INDIVIDUAL (an individual who calls himself... Morphius. Sorry, going offtopic again) will "get it?" Ever get that feeling?

The problem with such endeavors is that, almost without exception, the intended TARGETS of such messages continue to go on with their day-to-day lives in a state of COMPLETE cluelessness. ("Ah, yes captian! We're all on deck here. You can count on this crew at all times!")

Typically, such recipients will either:

• a) Think that the supposed "message" is intendend for somebody else, and continue with their dumbfuck lives, totally oblivious.
• b) Parse, grok, and fully comprehend the so-called message, but be laughing themselves so goddamn silly over the whole thing that the seriousness of the supposed subject matter eludes them entirely. EEEEYEAH.

So REALIZE it right now, all you little dipshitty, wannabe web memoir provocateurs: MY BRAIN IS NOT A LAB RAT. SO FUCK OFF!

Ok, this is where I stop writing, before I start sounding like some really bad parody of... Uh oh, there I go again with the vague references and unfinished sentences.

I get the feeling "somebody" was/is about a millimeter away from cutting my testicles off and feeding them to...

Aw, screw it. I'm going back to bed for an hour.

... And by this time tomorrow, Project Guacamole shall have nearly completed the process of subverting the entire planet!