Oh shit, and I thought my weekend was an emotional roller coster! lol. :)

Well, what I planned to write here has had to be totally reworked on the whiteboard of my mind about 50 times since this morning. (Yes, I was at work today, and yes I got things done. How dare anyone accuse me otherwise! [Hands on hips in rightous indignation.] rotfl.)

lol, really, this time. Gotta let it all out somewhere.

God, one would think my hands would be all typed out by now, but here I sit, going on.

"Computer, crank that Britney Spears! Louder, dammit. Louder!" There. That's better. :)

I am such a scoundral. I really shouldn't be pirating this shit. I should go out and pay for the music I listen to. And add a cd to my collection that friends would no doubt mock me for far more relentlessly than anything else in my collection. And then there's the store clerk.

"Ah, yes. I'm buying this for my little sister." I guess that's another reason for buying stuff online. Avoid the embarrassment. But it's good music, dammit! I don't care what the "hip" people say. I like good music, whether it's mainstream or not. Major label, or garage band, there is good music. That includes (my karma goes down a point each time I say the name) Britney Spears.

Maybe I should go troll on slashdot about it. "Britney Spears and hot grits, now for sale at Rover's underpants eating contest. thank you." Oh shit, no. Maybe not. I am just having to much damn fun.

(And noboby should be asking anyway, because it's Monday. But just in case: No, I have not consumed any alcoholic beverages on this day.)

So what have I done on this day? I've gone to work and been a good, productive little boy. Indeed, I have.

Pulllllleeeeeazzzz, I need the url. Puppy like urls. Puppy devour urls like peas and carrots. Peas and carrots. Roof!

(I'm sorry to all the people reading this who have no idea what I'm talking about. It's just... too funny.)

Ok, serious time. How to begin? I'm not even sure I can. These days, it feels like I'm writing everything in some sort of silly code. Cryptic statements, vague references, unfinished sentences. It's a wonder anyone can manage to read all this shit and come away with any idea of what I've been talking about. Oh, you mean they haven't? Oh, you mean everything I've been writing has just sailed right over, gone totally unrecognized by...

:) lol. Ok, maybe not so serious just yet.

Why do I have a feeling this is going to be one of the longest ramblings yet? Well, it can't be too long, cause I refuse to miss Ally McBeal tonight. Yeah, I go galavanting all over town Saturday night, totally neglecting the new Xena episode, and now I'm sitting here saying I refuse to miss Ally McBeal? [Shakes head] My, my, things have deteriorated.

Well, even if nobody else has a clue what I'm writing about, that's ok. Because I do. And I write this page for my own entertainment. (Ding! There I go, contradicting myself again. Wasn't there something I said earlier about entertaining... who? Oh hell, what does it matter? Nobody knows what the hell I'm talking about anyway, so I think I'll just sit here and laugh out loud, and the rest of the world can sit and shake their heads. "He's really lost it this time. Whatever shall we do?")

Hmmmm. So far I have gotten around to implementing exactly zero percent of the items on the fantasy whiteboard. But I am being more productive than ever. As a matter of fact, Project Guacamole is moving along ahead of schedule! Let us be proud, and congratulate ourselves!

I knew it was a mistake to link to this page from my employee bio on the intranet. Now I'm gonna be worse off than Elaine when she danced at the company party. Oh well. At least I haven't descended to the level of George, stashing pillows, an alarm clock, and other naptime supplies under the desk. Oh, this shit is just too much.

[Stops typing for a few minutes to get into the Queensryche music. Empire.]

Ok. I'm going to try to relate this, but without being overly specific, because some of it just has to be vague. I think the very attentive readers who have read this page for a long time will understand what I'm trying to say, and those who just joined recently, if they've been paying attention, will probably be able to figure it out as well.

Have you ever in your life, just gone out on an limb? Not just any limb, but an extremely shaky limb. And you go there, because there's a really good, really juicy looking piece of fruit that you just can't quite reach? It looks like things might be dangerous, but you go anyway. And you reach. And you reach. ...

And then you slip. Your heart stops beating. You realize you've gone too far, and you try to step back, but it's too late. You've lost control.

And then you're in mid-air. You can feel nothing around you but the air rushing by. You know that when you hit the ground, you're dead. Not just wounded. Dead. Your life is about to be over.

But then, you hear a voice. "Program concluded. Exit when ready." The arch forms, and you're alive.

[Swap full. Much more ahead...]