In keeping with the last New Year's resolution enumerated in the previous rambling, I think it's time to lay some items straight. Items which I haven't been entirely straightforward about on prior occasions. Things I've known at some level, but been afraid to admit here, or to myself, for whatever reasons. Two issues in particular come to mind.

The first involves the future of my academic life. Upon leaving ucollege.edu, the story was that I would enroll at CU. I proceeded to register (including paying the fee), but never pursued it further. Then I told myself I'd wait until spring semester. Obviously, that hasn't happened either. Why?

If I face the truth, I am forced to admit that I see it as being of dubious value. Not education itself. Knowledge is a wonderful thing. My beef lies with the institutions erected with the ostensible objective thereof. (An obvious quote, drilled into me by a certain instructor at my last such place, comes to mind. Never let schooling get in the way of an education. -- Mark Twain)

Frankly, I am loathe to go further into debt, and wade through all sorts of bureaucratic crap to attain what could much more efficiently be gained through a few quality visits to the local public library. Whether I would actually make those visits without the pressure of a term paper due next week is another issue entirely. :)

I am also aware of the argument that there is more to be gained than simple knowledge. The social interaction, the perseverence, the intermediate acclimation to life away from parents, etc etc etc. I'm still not convinced it's worth it.

Ever since I was a tiny tot, my parents have told me that a college education is an absolute necessity. No decent jobs for non-graduates, no good life, no nothing. The insanity almost goes so far as to breed the belief that if you don't go through the system, your basic worth as a person is somehow reduced. So maybe this is also me rebelling against that notion.

well, I could expound further, but I want to get on to the second issue too, so I'll leave it at that and move on.

The other E word. You guessed it. Employment. My "job search" for the past six months has, realistically, been a joke. Token resumes sent here and there. The occasional perusing of the want ads in the paper at my parents' prodding. Pathetic.

It's a booming job market. Anyone who reads Slashdot knows this. The only reason I haven't been employed is because, for various reasons, I haven't wanted it badly enough. Again, why?

Obviously, I don't yet have the threat of losing food or housing. My parents provide that. (Frankly, if I were them, I would have taken more drastic measures toward myself by now, but that's not my decision; it's theirs. And I sure as hell am not going to go say, "Could you please cut off my net access until I get off my ass and find work?" Too wierd.)

Lacking cash means I get less in the way of nice things like hardware upgrades, cds (although I've managed to scrape together enough to buy the ones I really want), DVD players, yadda yadda yadda. So far, that hasn't been sufficient to launch me to real action. Banging away on this old 133, watching broadcast tv, making an occasional trip to the local theater on money saved from previous jobs, and eating canned soup seems to be enough to sustain me. Maybe that's my problem. I'm just too easy to please. :)

Despite this, I know in my heart of hearts that the current situation cannot continue. I've just got to step up and take some potential discomfort. Hence, my first resultion made in the previous rambling.

That's a wrap for now.