I'm referring, of course, to the movie I just finished watching (albeit on VHS pan-and-scan). There is no spoon.

It just works on so many levels.

In light of the current the time of day, I realize I am likely to babble my head off in an incoherent manner. So be it. The year 2000 is here, and my BCL (Blood Caffeine Level) is relatively high right now, I'm guessing. Feel the Dew, the Pepsi, the Jolt coursing through my veins.

Let's see. I could go off on a tangent about any of the many philosophical/socio-politicol implications of The Matrix. I could review the year 1999 in the context of my life. Or the last almost quarter century that I've been alive. I could announce possible nominees for the 1999 Bitscape movie awards. (Although, given that I'm still in shell shock again, it might be a good idea to cool down so I can view the candidates more objectively first.) I could write some more on the still-unfinished movielog entry from Thursday night's viewing. Or, I could continue to enumerate possible topics to write about into the next millennium (which starts in a year - 6 hours, or not; even though I myself have been guilty of fallaciously referring to y2k as the beginning of a new millennium on a few occasions. yipee). Oh yeah, and I was thinking of throwing in some New Years resolutions. End of Paragraph.

And to think I have yet to watch the other movie I rented in celebration of this occasion. I think I'll save Dark City for later today. I tell you, I am a movieholic living in a movieholic family. The other family members rented two other movies, which they all watched prior to my Matrix viewing. After viewing the last half of Generations on FOX (I never knew it was gonna be on prior to tonight, or I would have watched from the start) (a very fitting movie to be broadcasting on New Year's Eve), I watched Instinct with them (admittedly very interesting; Anthony Hopkins sure can act).

After that, midnight rolled over. (Well, actually it rolled over just before the movie ended, and none of us noticed until afterwards, but we all pretended the clock struck 0.) Celebration. I finished and uploaded my little y2k web gimmick, which will remain there until January 2.

Then, Bob went to bed, Acaudi and Bouncing started on their other movie, titled Ravenous. I considered joining them, but five minutes into it I realized I was far too restless to enjoy it, and retreated to my room, where I listened to the latest Geeks in Space, read a few /. comments, wandered over to Netforum for a few, listened to some live Alanis (I love that Princes Familiar song), and added a few paragraphs to my still unfinished movielog entry. By that time, their movie had finished and they went to bed. So I wandered in, brought some headphones to wire into the VCR (It may be VHS, but I will NOT settle for the cheap tv speaker during this movie), cranked em up, and proceeded to be mesmorized for 2+ hours.

Oh, I suppose I could also write about the events of the last 12 hours. :)

Ok... New Years Resolutions.

• This year, I shall find a real job. Actually, better make that this month. Or sooner.
• This year, I shall buy a new desktop PC. The former being a prerequisite for this one.
• This year, I shall find a girlfriend. Well, maybe. Or at least meet a few prospectives.
• This year, I shall find more avenues other than the Internet to channel my self expression.
• This year, I shall obtain lodging of my own. The biggest one by far, but a worthy goal. This place is great, but I need to strike out on my own, make a life, gain independence. Ya know?
• Be true, honest to myself. I know this one sounds kind of vague and clichéd. Let me see if I can better define what I mean. Oh heck, this might take a few paragraphs, so I'll get back to it momentarily.

There they are. One year from now, I'll come back, look at this list, and see how each item turned out. Time will tell.

The last item. Truer to myself. A little background might be required.

[cue Metallica: Nothing Else Matters. Live S&M version.]

One year ago, I felt as if I had lost myself. Caught up in the maelstrom of college life, I had obtained straight A's during the fall semester with minimal effort, but found myself increasingly unsatisfied, not knowing why. I stopped caring. My motivation to excel evaporated from under me. I didn't know what was happening, but whatever it was, it couldn't continue.

It was at about this time that this section of the web page really took shape (I guess that was one thing I was motivated to do). It was an outlet of sorts. It still is, but to a lesser degree, with lesser frequency, in recent times. Random Ramblings is, at its best, me being totally honest with myself.

Anyway, when Spring Break began, I knew for certain my life was heading in a direction I didn't like. At all. The Alanis concert was an epiphany. I realized that my life was totally out of control, and that I was the only person who could possibly steer it in another direction. (When it comes to finding that direction, I was, and am, a blithering idiot. Some things never change. The value lies in the search.) I became convinced that my way was not at ucollege.edu. I registered for Colorado University, but never followed through.

Where is this discussion going? My point is that for a time, I nearly completely lost sight of who I was, what I stood for, what life was about for me. I believe I have recently regained some inkling of that. Certainly hazy, but definitely there. I don't want to lose sight of that purpose. If I do, I'm lost.

Well, that's an attempt to explain that last item. Still clear as mud, right? Too bad.

Watching The Matrix, questioning the nature of reality, the debate on what's really important in life, the value of truth... really prompted all this shit to the forefront. Do not ignore that inner voice. You may not like what it has to say; you may try to leave it behind; you may say it isn't worth the pain to listen to. All will find its way in time.

Morning arrives on a new millennium (yeah, yeah, not really, I know. Let me have my fun), and Netscape has nearly consumed all my swap, so it must be time to conclude here. Peace.