2/15/96-2/16/96
Madden
Chapter 5
6 And, like a virgin, you shall be born
again into the Kingdom of Heaven,
7 And all God's children shall sing with
a mighty voice, as has been heard only
from the throat of Madonna,
8 And there shall be weeping and knashing
of teeth among her fans.
9 I saw, coming down from heaven in a
black limousine, a sight unbenounst by
the evil one. It was wearing a black
bra,
10 And I saw five cone bras protuding
from the chest of the driver, and the
woman was holding a leather whip around
his neck,
11 And as she sat in the back seat, holding
both ends of the whip like a harness being
held by a carriage driver, I saw the clouds
parting as if to be The Red Sea;
12 As the limousine made its way through the
clouds, it was revealed to me that the
woman was the serpent of Cecil of Baron,
whose power was bestowed upon it by the moon,
13 And the drunken salesman approached the woman,
and he said unto her, I shall not buy thy
sex for anything thou mightest giveth me,
14 Even if thou were to offer unto me the
secrets of the gods of Lucy and Kevin, I
wouldeth decline, as my purity is greater
than theirs.
15 So I said unto the voice of Heaven,
What is they bidding, my master, and
Heaven said unto me, I bid you well, my son.
16 So I took Heaven's bidding, and I rode
my chariot up to the black limousine of
the driver of the five cone bras,
17 And I said unto the woman, Take me baby,
Take me now!
18 But the Woman saideth unto me, We
live in a material world and I am
a material girl,
19 So I demeaned myself before Her, and
she replied unto me,
20 Better luck next time bud, 'cause you're
not getting any pussy tonight. So I wept
with a great mourning, as the stars have
never heard,
21 And the Lord of Lords heard my tears,
and He comforted me with many a cold
shower until all my woes were washed away,
22 And then the woman came and gave herself
to me and said, I've always been in love
with you,
23 And with this my joys were multiplied
and my fantasies satisfied, and eternal
life was mine forever, if only for today,
24 And they all lived happily ever after. Amen.
Wow, that was profound, dude!
If you did not understand these scriptures, you are advised to take them to a priest, Bible scholar, pastor, minister, reverend, rabbi, yoda master, or shamaramarah, depending on your religion, and have him interpret them to you. Do not hesitate to ask him questions about specific verses, as he is trained in the ways of the Lord, and he can help you to understand the will of God, Allah, Buddha, or MLVC, depending, again, upon your faith.