2/15/96
Madonna, before you say yes to my invitation, there is something you must know. I am using you. Like a thing. Like the newspaper I use to swat flies. Why? Well, for several reasons. One, it's the only way anyone can really relate to you, so if I'm desparately in love with you and trying to win your attention, I have to be using you for something in order to be successful. All the people who surround you are using you. They are using you to elevate themselves for their own personal gain, using you to heal wounds inflicted on them when they were small children, and also doing it for plain, old fashioned kicks. So, if I am to win you, I must get in line and do as everyone else.
Also, you should know the other side of it. I can heal you. You can use me to soothe the wounds inflicted upon you your entire life. I am willing to do whatever it takes to reinstate your trust in the world. Why would I do this for you? Because you did it for me. I would only be returning the favor, and I will do so joyfully.
We will heal each other. And out of this healing, we will produce offspring. You know it can happen, because anything can happen. All it takes is a willingness on the part of both of us to make it happen. I have no idea what our child will be like, and the unpredictability of it all is what makes it so interesting. I am doing what you taught me to do, and I hope I can teach you everything I have learned and will learn through this experience. It will be a painful process to go through. It always is when you have to unlearn the pain that has been reinforced since you left the womb. I can help you through it, as you have done for me.
You know you want me. I'm not gonna hurt you. Just close your eyes. Love me, that's right, love me. I wanna be your baby. I'm talking, I'm talking. I believe in the power of love. I'm singing, I'm singing. I believe that you can rescue me. I'm drowning. Baby throw out your rope. No choice your voice can take me there. I can't help falling in love, I go deeper and deeper the further I go. Kisses sent from heaven above, they get sweeter and sweeter the more that I know. I want you. The right way. I want you. But I want you to want me too. Want you to want me baby. Just like I want you. One way love is just a fantasy. To share is precious. Pure and fair. Baby I love you. Open your heart to me, baby. I hold the lock and you hold the key. Open your heart to me, darlin'. I'll give you love if you, you turn the key. Who needs a smile when a tear's so full of love? Who needs a home with the stars up above? It's here in your heart I want to be carried. Who needs the light with the darkness in your eyes? Who needs to sleep with the stars in the sky? It's here in your soul I want to be married. You are my sanctuary. Surely whoever speaks to me in the right voice, him or her I shall follow. I'm crazy for you. Touch me once and you'll know it's true. I've never wanted anyone like this. It's all brand new. You'll feel it in my kiss. I'm crazy for you. I want to be where the sun warms the sky, when it's time for siesta you can watch them go by, beautiful faces no cares in this world. Where a girl loves a boy and a boy loves a girl. I could be your sister. I could be your mother. We could be friends. I'd even be your brother. But I, I'd rather be your lover. That's right, I'd rather be your lover. And if there is a Christ, He'll come tonight, and help me pray for Spanish eyes. Take a bow, the night is over. This masquerade is getting older. Lights are low, the curtains are down. There's no one here. Say your lines, but do you feel them? Do you (really?) mean what you say when there's no one around.
Oh, God! I'm exhausted, and if you haven't gotten the point by now, you never will. I'm going to stop writing now and get some sleep. You know what you have to do for yourself, I know what I have to do for myself. 'Nuff said.