2/12/96
My sole purpose in creating this page filled with words of unbridled worship, honesty rivaled only by Madonna herself, and megalomaniacal ravings is this: I WANT THE QUEEN TO SEE IT.
That's right Madonna, if you do indeed surf the web and you're reading this, you have fulfilled the one and only wish of the author of this page. And if I may be so imposing as to ask for one final favor, even after you have unknowingly labored for my absolute enjoyment and made all my fantasies come true, I request that you email me. That way, when you listen to my words and I know you've heard, I'll know it's real.
If, on the other hand, you are not Madonna (a likely but unfortunate possibility), I hope you, too, will become hopelessly drawn to The Goddess of the modern world. Although I know you are presently thinking that I am an insane lunatic, I implore you to give our selfless heroine One More Chance. Do not be influenced by my foolish and hopelessly inadequate portrayal of this materialistic, selfish whore. Look at her closely. If you can see the real person behind the glossy, excessive makeup, you will find that she is truly the solution to many of our modern problems.
If, after all of these self-discrediting, out of touch with reality, and mostly nonsensical ravings, you are still bothering to read this, you are ready for more. I want you to read the rest of this page, but not before going out to your local record store and buying one of Madonna's albums. It doesn't matter which one, just so it's from Madonna. When you get back, I want you to set her record playing. Let it put you in a trance. Then you will be ready for this brainwashing phase to continue, and once you've heard some of her music, you will be ready to read more of this page.
If, on the other hand, you disobey these instructions and read more of the content of this page before getting a good taste of Madonna, it will make no sense to you. You may, however, enjoy the ride anyway. Who knows, maybe someday, when you look back you'll be able to say: I didn't mean to be cruel. Somebody hurt me too.
On to a poem titled Madonna. (What else would it be?)