Well, Internet libertarians and other freedom fighters, I've got some more thoughts on this whole censorship issue. After thinking about it almost nonstop for the last few days, I'm thinking that Senator Exon and his buddies may be giving us exactly what we really want: A good fight.

For years, there has been worry about what Generation X will do with itself. The same thing applies, to a lesser degree, to the Baby Boomers. The really young ones, at my current place of employment, are so bored that they invent pretend worlds and live in them all day long. They're having a great time at it, but something's missing: Reality.

For years, older generations have criticized us for being lazy, for having no clue as to what the world is about, for living in escapism. They're right. This is not making us happy. About a year ago, I spent several weeks on end in my room, taking breaks only to go to the bathroom to shit and to the kitchen kitchen to get food. What did I do during all this time? What did I have to show for all this? Nothing. Nothing, except several high scores on Civilization. I never did conquer that Empire level, but I had figured out how to master the King level about half of the time. I got so sick of sitting in my chair and playing that game that I quit playing it for the next several monthes. I did really get into Colonization for a while, though.

This is a very unsatisfying way to live. We need real battles to fight. We need the real world. Unfortunately, we have such a peaceful population, we are so wealthy, and we are so powerful that we don't need to fight anybody. Our military is small, and operates on a voluntary basis. A perfect freedom. Those who don't want to fight don't have to. Those who do can join the reserves. The rest of us are out of touch with the real world.

Enter Senator Exon. He gives us what we want, a real chance to prove ourselves. A real threat we can all stand up to. Now, we finally have a chance to find out if all these survival skills we've been learning while playing DOOM did us any good. My personal opinion: Senator Exon is going to be down before Round One even has a chance to get underway. Then, we'll need a bigger challenge.

The whole Federal Goverment, the FCC, the ATF, the FBI, the White House, the FDA, the EPA, the NEA, the Congress, the Roy Romers, the Bill Clintons, the Bob Doles, and the rest of the establishment will fall at the feet of the Internet population. Look how quickly word got around about the web black-out before Clinton even signed the bill into law. I tell you, this place would be the dream of the minute men. I think our founding fathers would be proud of where their experiment has gone.

Here's our problem: We, as a species, are so conditioned to fight battles that we have an inborn need to do so. We used to starve if we didn't fight for every bite. Now, we can have all our physical needs met at the drop of a hat, but we're still looking for someone to fight. So is Senator Exon. Once he and his pathetic hordes in the religous right are beaten, we will have nothing to do but fight each other.

And who's gonna take care of that problem? I've got a few guesses. For one thing, Quake is on the way. That should keep people busy for a while as they beef up their skills for another great challenge with the establishment. The establishment, not having the skills to be able to strategize and construct an entire SimCity, will fall again. They'll just keep presiding over their "real" cities, and they'll keep doing a damn lousy job of it. Need an example? Look at Wellington Web. He's sly sucker if ever I did see one.

What happens when all these crooked politicians have died off? Well, we quit wandering around in the wilderness and enter the promised land. But we'll still be playing Quake. Not forever. Eventually, we will adapt and survive. We will learn to live without having to fight, but we will still want to conduct wars for the fun of it. To meet this demand, companies such as id and Microsoft will go on into the future and keep making ways for people get faster and faster, better and better. It's already happening.

All of our churches and nationalities will still exist. We will have learned that they can exist separately and in competition without killing one another. Hollywood and its establishment will keep holding its award ceremonies, and people like Madonna will keep getting frustrated at not being nominated for Oscars, and her fans will keep being loyal to her because they love her, and she them.

The other place battles will be fought is in the bedroom. S&M play is the way of the future. As lovers get closer and get to know each other better, they will begin to conduct these games without even needing to speak. They will obey each other's will with as little as an eye gesture. They will fight without ever inflicting a wound, unless they want wounds, which can be healed. Some will feel so deeply for each other that they will want permanent wounds to be inflicted. Words will become useless in these matters, but language will not die.

Language will be used to fight the competitive battles between entities. They will use it to confuse and disorient one another. Then, they will go home and have the silent, more pleasant battles.

What will happen after all this? What will humanity evolve into? Who knows! Should aliens from outer space exist, and come along to challenge our perfect life, we will all unite and fight against them. (Let's not forget how to play Mario. We don't want to lose to creatures that look like Little Goombas!) If God comes in the clouds, we'll meet him with great distrust. If his intentions are hostile, we'll fight an unwinnable battle. If he is peaceful, as the Bible claims he is, we'll accept him into our reality and he can join Microsoft. If he throws us into eternal hell, we'll be tortured. Let's be prepeared for it. (S&M'ers, you might want to play those fire games more often so your lover will already be used to it when it happens. They might even learn to associate God's fire with you in their minds.)

So, Senators, do you want to join us in a game of Quake? Or would you rather go down in history as the first bunch in a long line of fools to try to defeat the Internet? You decide. Better hurry up, though, 'cause your retirement isn't far away. (Hey! We didn't vote you out, you slimy bastards. You aren't even going to give us a chance at getting that satisfaction. Too chicken, eh? Typical politicians.)