3/6/96
When God created the world, the Garden of Eden, and everything in it, He did so for the pleasure of a man. He made Adam, a male, the supreme ruler of this garden and everything in it. But man was not satisfied with this arrangement. He was lonely. Then, God realized his mistake: He had created man in his own image, not just in form but in function as well. He had put Adam's entire world, the garden, under man's complete control. Inevitably, God had inadvertently inflicted his own pain upon his creation. He didn't mean to be cruel, he was lonely too. In fact, the reason he had made man in the first place was to ease his own loneliness. But now, He felt guilty, having unknowingly spread all this pain, for he knew not what He was doing.
So, as a means of easing his own guilt, and to make his creation feel better, he came up will a brilliant solution: Create another being that would relate to man at his pleasure, as an equal. Since man was unsatisfied with complete control over everything, why not make a being that couldn't be controlled by him? This being would exist purely for the absolute fulfillment of the male's desires. And what better way to do this than to take a part of the man's body and transplant it? Then man would forever be drawn to that part of himself which now lived in his mate.
So, God, being the short-sighted delusional diety that he is, took a piece out of Adam's chest and made a woman. This woman could serve at Adam's whim, doing or being whatever would please him. She could be a virgin or a slut, a wife or a whore, a boy toy or a dominatrix. Any and all of these could easily satisfy him. But the choice was hers. There was a little catch, though: God set it up so that the woman would only be happy if she was pleasing the man. Well, come on, this was, after all, the reason she was created! God had to make sure there was some assurance His plan would work. He didn't want to screw it up again.
But, let's face it, God's a blundering idiot. He seems predestined to fuck things up. And, what's worse, whenever He tries to fix it, things just get worse! What a klutz! Well, I guess He isn't totally stupid. After a while, He did manage to figure out that the best thing He could do was just leave things alone. It took the loss of a son and the uprising of one of the most tyrannical religous institutions afterward to teach Him. I guess some folks just have to learn the hard way.
Back to the garden. What God failed to realize was that when he designed the female, he was setting her up for eternal unhappiness. If she has a free will independent of that of her man, and at the same time can be happy only when she's serving him, there's going to be a constant inner conflict going on inside of her. Even when she is "happy" serving her male counterpart, there's still going to be a part of her that wants to get away, the free will. Inevitably, she will have the power to and sometimes will excercise this free will and leave her husband, especially when he becomes abusive out of frustration.
Why would he be frustrated? He's lonely, of course, and he wants an equal, but the woman is always submitting to him because she wants to be happy. Don't we all? After a time, she'll fulfill her purpose and please the man as she was created to do. She'll assert her will by leaving him, just as a couragous wife who runs away from her husband does. Then the man will be lonely, the woman will be unhappy, she'll come running back, and the cycle will continue. Is God sadistic or what?
Well, maybe not entirely. Like I said before, He finally figures out what a klutz he is, and decides to leave the whole world alone for a couple thousand years, with a few minor exceptions to keep him occupied. What happens? For a time, things get horrible, people torture each other, empires rise and fall, the white men kill the Indians, the Indians attack the white men, the white men enslave the black men, the black men take drugs and leave their children, the proletariat rises up and creates a totalitarian state, and a dictator comes to power and tries to wipe out an entire race and nearly conquers the world.
God is tempted to intervene, but he remembers what happened last time, so he ignores the cries of the suffering, the prayers of the dieing, the pleas of the tortured, and the cries of the children. It looks like man might be headed down the toilet forever.
Meanwhile, the other gender is nearly forgotten. Hundreds of years go by, power changes hands, countries are conquered, an inquisition takes place, crusades drag on, reforms happen, a renaissance occurs, new worlds are explored, newer better governments form, inventions are made at a staggering pace, and the world at large becomes relatively peaceful. What is the woman's role in all this? A brief mention now and then as the beauty a prince rescued, the wife of some great leader, or an unnamed figure who was hunted for practicing paganism.
But she is far from dead. She isn't paralyzed either. God did give her a free will, and when God creates something, it sticks around for a while. The spirit of the woman lies dormant in the wilderness. Somehow, she makes it through. Slowly, the other half of the population awakens. First, they just want the fact that they exist to be acknowledged. Then they demand, and eventually get, a say in matters of politics. Next, they assert their ability to work, but it happens while most of their mates are off doing other things. The soldiers return and gratefully find the women doing a competent job at keeping the factories running.
For a short time, the women once again become subservient, but they quickly realize that this is not the way to go for long. They return to a position of asserting power in the workforce, but this time they do it with the men present. When this is successful, some even want to go so far as to overthrow the patriarchal establishment completely, but they do not realize that this is not the way to happiness, for God's rules cannot be changed. So most mellow out and agree to relate to men on equal terms, as God intended. One of the clever ones who seeks happiness is even able to do this while serving at man's pleasure, thus both making men happy, being an equal, and keeping her own identity all at once! :) Many others learn from her, and become able to assert power while serving at the whim of their lovers, thus fulfilling God's original purpose.
As time goes by, the human race will learn to stand on its own, and it will then remember the love that God gave it. And God, having gotten past His compulsion to fix things, may even return and pay us all a visit, show us his place, and check out our new world. After all, He does get lonely every now and then, and we might as well fulfill our purpose as defined by Him. He did create us, so we at least owe Him that. And even though He made the mistake of making us fallible, He did the best job He knew how, and that's all any of us can do.