Last Night (again)
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Location: Missoula (OAO Temple House)
It was 7 days ago that my journey began, and I set out on a drive into Idaho. Tomorrow morning, 7 days after the car fire that abruptly threw all those plans into upheaval, I will be riding a bus to Spokane. Provided everything goes according to plan this time, I will camp up on Ran Prieur's land for a couple of weeks. After that, I have bus tickets booked for Eugene, with a destination at the Lost Valley ecovillage.
It's been an emotional roller coaster, and I thank everyone for the support and encouragement.
Earlier this week, after I had purchased the bus ticket for Thursday, Ran sent an email warning about predicted cold and snowy weather conditions, and suggested that if I hadn't made the purchase yet, and had a warm spot to stay in Missoula, it might be more desirable to stay a bit longer. He would still be willing to drive me up, but didn't think I would have much fun this weekend.
The thought of camping in the cold did, for a while, send me diving back under the blankets next to the furnace heater (where I have temporarily been sleeping for the past week), and I contemplated the possibility of discarding this ticket and spending another $50 to go next week.
But upon reflecting, I realized that to delay would be unhealthy in a number of ways. Beyond the financial aspect, every day that I spend in Missoula after the aborted departure makes me feel a little more like a ghost. Whenever I go out and run into people I know, they ask what I'm still doing in town if they haven't heard the news, and if they have, they express condolences. It's all understandable, and well intentioned, but I'm growing weary of living in the shadow of the past.
Beyond this, there's also the gravity well of the familiar, and the longer I stay, the more difficult it becomes to break orbit, psychologically speaking. I need to get on my way!
Also, while it might be difficult, camping in a potential snow storm will add to my experience.
So, I go. Will probably not be online much for the next few weeks. Once again, thanks to all who have supported. Someday, I hope to give back to the community that has given so much to me.